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May 15, 2017 | by  | in Politics |
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The Trump Front

Continuing our coverage of the American healthcare debacle from Issue 05, on May 4 Trumpy managed to snake his way past those pesky progressive Democrats in the House of Reps and pass the first stage of his American Health Care Act, the proposed legislation that aims to get rid of Obamacare.

Under the new-and-really-REALLY-not-improved Trumpcare 2.0, analysts have stated that there will be an enormous hike in the premiums for people with pre-existing conditions such as asthma, diabetes, arthritis, severe forms of cancer, and — get this — pregnancy. That’s right, PREGNANCY. Because having a functioning pair of ovaries that can bring a child into the world can be deemed a “pre-existing condition” right? It has been estimated that the premiums for a complete pregnancy, with no form of complications, will now cost ~US $17,000!!! That is a 425% increase from the premium costs under Obamacare. If this bill gets passed in the Senate, newly-pregnant women all over America will be coming home to their partners saying: “babe, I’ve got something terrible to tell you… I’ve got a pre-existing condition… I’m pregnant!” You either laugh or you cry, you know?

In other unrelated-yet-semi-frightening news, Donny has once again decided to improve his social media presence and has changed his Twitter cover photo. The new pic features Trump-o standing front and centre with his Republican chums, better known by their stage name: The Racialist Rat Pack. The main issue with this photo (aside from the blindingly obvious fact that it is dominated by white old men *shock*) is that it’s SO blurry. We’re talking maybe 144p, 240p at BEST. Why is no one at Team Trumptelling Donny that his pics are shit, and what’s with all of these picture changes?

Maybe if Trump-dog spends less time trying to up his social media presence and more time contemplating the impacts of his healthcare plan, families wouldn’t have to mortgage their home to simply produce offspring.

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