Viewport width =
March 19, 2018 | by  | in *News* News Splash |
Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

First Years Readjust Ambitions, from Psychologist to Life Coach

There has been a 98% drop in the number of first year students majoring in Psychology after attending the first two lectures of Stats193.

A requirement for majoring in Psychology is the ability to analyse data and trends, but according to first-year resident at Te Puni, and former Psychology major Harry Benson, that’s “just a bit much”.

“Yeah nah I didn’t really know what I wanted to do at uni so I just put down Psych, but Stats is fucked, I’m switching to Philosophy,” Benson said.

The Heads of School for History, Philosophy, Political Science and International Relations has reported a massive influx of students from the Law and Architecture faculties this week.

Vic Books have reported making a “fucking killing” this year, selling PSYC121 texts to guileless first years in O-Week, then claiming the inability to process refunds due to “hackers shutting down the server and demanding a ransom in Bitcoin“.

61% of those who dropped the major report having already bought the required text for Introduction to Psychology 1, priced at $142.99.

Benji Whyte, ex-Psychology major from Weir House, wasn’t phased by the wasted money. “Oh it’s not too bad, Mum said she’d pay me back.”

The 2% of first years that are persevering with Psychology, and so necessarily with Statistics, have been described by their former classmates as “absolute madmen”.

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

About the Author ()

Add Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Recent posts

  1. Laneway: Luck of the Draw
  2. Cuttin’ it with with Miss June
  3. SWAT
  4. Ravished by the Living Embodiment of All Our University Woes
  5. New Zealand’s First Rainbow Crossing is Here (and Queer)
  6. Chloe Has a Yarn About Mental Health
  7. “Stick with Vic” Makes “Insulting” and “Upsetting” Comments
  8. Presidential Address
  9. Final Review
  10. Tears Fall, and Sea Levels Rise

Editor's Pick

This Ain’t a Scene it’s a Goddamned Arm Wrestle

: Interior – Industrial Soviet Beerhall – Night It was late November and cold as hell when I stumbled into the Zhiguli Beer Hall. I was in Moscow, about to take the trans-Mongolian rail line to Beijing, and after finding someone in my hostel who could speak English, had decided