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March 12, 2018 | by  | in *News* News |
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Kelburn Campus Traffic Forecast

The influx of a large number of students to Victoria University this year is expected to cause congestion at Kelburn Campus.

All commuters are advised to expect delays and plan accordingly, as new students in particular attempt to familiarise themselves with the campus and inevitably get lost as fuck.

In particular the areas around New Kirk, Old Kirk, McLaurin, Cotton, Easterfield, Hugh Mackenzie, Murphy, Von Zedlitz, Hunter, the Kelburn overbridge, The Hub, and the Student Union Building, are expected to suffer especially bad congestion as students crowd around lecture theatre entrances, walk six abreast in that hallway where The Lab is, and generally attempt to walk against the flow of traffic and be as inconvenient as possible.

Commuters are advised plan for these delays by finding alternative routes, leaving extra time to get to class, or avoiding lectures altogether.

Advice has also been given to law students unfamiliar with the Old Government Buildings to allow extra time to navigate “the most confusing goddamn building I’ve seen”. Faculty are still trying and failing to produce a map of the building.

Bad weather may also worsen congestion as people opt to avoid even brief exposures to light rain and wind.


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