Viewport width =
April 16, 2018 | by  | in *News* |
Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

Pākehā New Zealanders Defence of Racism Limited to Googling Word “racism”

White people across the country are confident that exactly 16 seconds of googling the term “racism” outweighs the lived experience of thousands, and the weight of several entire academic fields.

In a country which just released promotional rugby material based around the Taranaki Land Wars, Kiwi director Taika Waititi’s recent comments that New Zealand is “racist as fuck” has revealed that a swathe of the population has no interest in a structural analysis of racial discrimination.

A statistical analysis of all Stuff, New Zealand Herald, and Radio New Zealand Facebook posts since Waititi’s tweet has demonstrated that approximately 77% of the comments section was a copy of the first result to come up under “racism definition” on Google.

Another 10% was using mental gymnastics to explain how “actually” Waititi was the racist; another 5% used “bootstraps” rhetoric; the remainder was a mix of racist slurs and, inexplicably, homophobia.

Regular Stuff article comments contributor, Brian MacCartney from Winton, rose above the pack however. Happy to spend another 30 seconds on Google, he provided important statistics about the incarceration rate of Māori in New Zealand.

“Maori [sic] make up 50% of the prison population here but only 12% of the general population for God’s sakes! If they stopped feeling sorry for themselves and asking for handouts maybe they would get somewhere.”

Renowned intellectual Duncan Garner weighed in too, only to be rebuked by almost everyone in the immediate vicinity and hopefully also everyone he knows and loves. Unfortunately, reports are inconclusive on the latter.

When asked for comment, Waititi attempted to answer but only managed a prolonged frustrated groan before laying facedown on his desk.

*Disclaimer: This is shit news.*

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

About the Author ()

Add Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Recent posts

  1. Laneway: Luck of the Draw
  2. Cuttin’ it with with Miss June
  3. SWAT
  4. Ravished by the Living Embodiment of All Our University Woes
  5. New Zealand’s First Rainbow Crossing is Here (and Queer)
  6. Chloe Has a Yarn About Mental Health
  7. “Stick with Vic” Makes “Insulting” and “Upsetting” Comments
  8. Presidential Address
  9. Final Review
  10. Tears Fall, and Sea Levels Rise

Editor's Pick

This Ain’t a Scene it’s a Goddamned Arm Wrestle

: Interior – Industrial Soviet Beerhall – Night It was late November and cold as hell when I stumbled into the Zhiguli Beer Hall. I was in Moscow, about to take the trans-Mongolian rail line to Beijing, and after finding someone in my hostel who could speak English, had decided