Viewport width =
April 9, 2018 | by  | in *News* |
Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

VUW Responds to Printing Complaints

In a move to make printing on campus more efficient, Victoria University of Wellington has switched its printing services provider from Fuji Xerox to six medieval monks writing on leather parchment.

8/10 students at Victoria in 2018 report being frustrated by the printing services on campus, and 3/10 report having to pick up another part-time job to compensate for how much money the printers swindle from them each year. 9/10 report fantasizing about destroying a printer this semester.

One first-year student told Salient she’d stopped handing in assignments altogether, and was considering her options for dropping out. “I put $50 on my account during O-Week, and in five weeks I haven’t managed to print a single thing.”

Victoria University says that the monks were contacted after Library staff found the constant moans of despair from printing stations in blue zones “unmanageable”. One staffer said in an interview with Salient that the change is “long overdue,” and that the monks are “likely to respond to instruction better” than the old printers.

The switch has also been widely celebrated by students. “It just makes sense,” said Masters student Tessa Carson. “I’ve been here 16 years. The printers never fucking work.”

Three monks will be stationed at Pipitea, and three at Kelburn Campus. The Architecture and Design School has been allocated no medieval monks, due to issues surrounding the monks’ capacity for 3D printing.

Vegans @ Vic are currently amid discussions with the monks as to options for providing a vegan alternative to leather parchment.

*Disclaimer: This is shit news*

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

About the Author ()

Add Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Recent posts

  1. Cuttin’ it with with Miss June
  2. SWAT
  3. Ravished by the Living Embodiment of All Our University Woes
  4. New Zealand’s First Rainbow Crossing is Here (and Queer)
  5. Chloe Has a Yarn About Mental Health
  6. “Stick with Vic” Makes “Insulting” and “Upsetting” Comments
  7. Presidential Address
  8. Final Review
  9. Tears Fall, and Sea Levels Rise
  10. It’s Fall in my Heart

Editor's Pick

This Ain’t a Scene it’s a Goddamned Arm Wrestle

: Interior – Industrial Soviet Beerhall – Night It was late November and cold as hell when I stumbled into the Zhiguli Beer Hall. I was in Moscow, about to take the trans-Mongolian rail line to Beijing, and after finding someone in my hostel who could speak English, had decided