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September 17, 2018 | by  | in Podcasts |
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My Dad Wrote A Porno

This podcast is the antithesis of eroticism. You will not feel aroused, you will not feel keen to bone, but you might feel like having a pleasant chuckle to yourself.
As my wise friend Liberty said of this podcast: your funny bone may be stimulated but your other bone will not be. In short, if you are keen to hear the word “tit” repeatedly said in an English accent then this is the podcast for you.
My Dad Wrote A Porno is one of those rare podcasts that is actually kind of… famous/relatively well-known to the general public/ has experienced success outside of the podcast community. It had been recommended to me several times, and was a frequent feature on either the “top charts” or “featured” section of my podcast app. And for many years I had chosen to ignore this, most likely in favour of a Bachelor in Paradise recap podcast or something of that same, high-quality ilk. So, when Louise emailed me suggesting this podcast, I thought: the time has come, why not? Branch out, Hannah. Stop being a sex-hating, erotica-despising prude (just kidding), and open your mind to the wonderful world of some guy reading their dad’s erotic fiction.
And that is pretty much all that My Dad Wrote A Porno is. Jamie Morton sits down with his two close friends James Cooper and Alice Levine and together they read through the erotic novels written by Morton’s father. The premise is simple, but it works. Under the pseudonym Rocky Flintstone, Morton’s dad – a retired father of four – has written 6 books that make up the erotic series titled Belinda Blinked, three of which are published and available for download online. Season One of the podcast takes on the first novel of the series, which has the titillating title Belinda Blinked 1; A modern story of sex, erotica and passion. How the sexiest sales girl in business earns her huge bonus by being the best at removing her high heels. In each episode Morton reads aloud a chapter of the book to Levine and Cooper who are hearing it for the first time and frequently interject to laugh at, tease, and lament the ridiculousness of it all.
And it is all pretty ridiculous – to give a brief summary, the books follow the sexual escapades of Belinda Blumenthal, who works in marketing and sales for a company that sells pots and pans. She engages in sexual relations with regional sales managers, business people — really anyone tied to the pots and pans industry. The strangeness of the “plot” (this word is used loosely) aside, the novels are both entertaining and baffling for their bizarre analogies, questionable grammar, and at times, highly detailed descriptions of furniture.
But it is really all in Morton, Cooper, and Levine’s commentary that the books come to life and hilarity ensues. The three are all sharp, witty, and funny in their own right, and have effortless camaraderie and banter. Despite already being close friends, they never verge into the territory of in-jokes or exclusivity; the listener is always able to keep up and feel warmly included. Hearing them pick apart the absurdity of the writing while laughing breathlessly, is just fun. At its heart, this podcast is just a thoroughly enjoyable listen. It doesn’t take itself too seriously and is able to make light of the silliness of sex.
To finish off, I have decided to leave you with some important and profound quotes from Belinda Blinked.
You are welcome.

“Her vaginal lids popped open”
“The conference room was upmarket, much like Belinda herself”

“Her tits hung freely like pomegranates”
“She had nipples as large as the three inch rivets which held the hull of the Titanic together”

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