Viewport width =
October 1, 2018 | by  | in *News* |
Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

International Enrolment Skyrockets

International student enrolments are at an all-time high, following the University’s decision to drop “Victoria” from its name. In just under a week, the number of international enrolments for next year has risen 341%, as students from Victoria Universities of Melbourne, Canada, Hong Kong, Bangladesh, and Uganda realised their mistake.
“I mean I just googled Victoria University and Melbourne was the first one that came up,” one prospective student told Salient. “I should have known something was up when I got there and I couldn’t find the tuatara, but I didn’t question it. I’m so glad the council cleared this up!”
Some are beginning to wonder if the name change was too effective — if student numbers continue to rise, will university infrastructure be able to cope? Extensions to new science block Te Toki a Rata are already in the works, while the former School of Art History, Classics and Religious Studies is being considered for new laboratory space. Work will begin as soon as contractors have finished repairing the library lifts, meaning large lectures will be held in Kelburn Park for the foreseeable future.
At least one confused VUW student has accidentally enrolled at Victoria University of Uganda.

*Disclaimer: This is shit news*

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

About the Author ()

Add Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Recent posts

  1. Laneway: Luck of the Draw
  2. Cuttin’ it with with Miss June
  3. SWAT
  4. Ravished by the Living Embodiment of All Our University Woes
  5. New Zealand’s First Rainbow Crossing is Here (and Queer)
  6. Chloe Has a Yarn About Mental Health
  7. “Stick with Vic” Makes “Insulting” and “Upsetting” Comments
  8. Presidential Address
  9. Final Review
  10. Tears Fall, and Sea Levels Rise

Editor's Pick

This Ain’t a Scene it’s a Goddamned Arm Wrestle

: Interior – Industrial Soviet Beerhall – Night It was late November and cold as hell when I stumbled into the Zhiguli Beer Hall. I was in Moscow, about to take the trans-Mongolian rail line to Beijing, and after finding someone in my hostel who could speak English, had decided