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AuthorAuntie Agatha

Author Archive: Auntie Agatha

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October 11, 2015

Hey Agatha, My neighbours on my floor are obsessed with Beyoncé. I have had it up to fucking here with “Halo”, “Drunk in Love” and “Single Ladies”. All they do when we drink together is set up their laptop to play YouTube music videos and dance in front it like Regina George’s little sister in […]

October 4, 2015

Hey Agatha, this guy that I used to get with back in the day and had a full on fling with keeps sending me random, and unsolicited dick pics out of the blue. How can I stop the barrage of bratwurst coming into my inbox? -Sick of Sausage Hey SS, First of all, that guy […]

September 27, 2015

What is it that makes the man? Having hair on your chest, a sizeable penis, playing the most sports? Masculinity used to mean that one was virile and independent, and to be a real man you would have to strive for power, control and self reliance. In order to display power and control, you had […]

September 20, 2015

Hi Agatha, I’m a first year and want to go flatting next year, but all of my hall friends are splitting into factions and I’m feeling more lost and directionless than the Labour party. Do none of my friends like me? Am I the one that everyone tries to avoid? What can I do for […]

September 13, 2015

Dear Agatha, On Saturday I was a sloppy mess and was being drunk and melodramatic. I woke up to see I tried to call my crush about eight times and texted her about eight times without a reply. I am so mortified, I feel like I’ve basically ruined any chances I have with her. What […]

September 6, 2015

Hi Agatha, My ex and I wanted to explore anal intercourse. We bought lube from Peaches and Cream and tried our best… after a couple of fingers I put my jewel in her back door, only to have her leap forward releasing her buttock’s grip of my willy. We tried again a week later when […]

August 16, 2015

Q: Hi Agatha, My flat is surrounded by a few adorable stray cats and I’ve started to feed a few of them. Once I started feeding them, they started sneaking inside and chilling on my bed. Now I’m juggling a few strays, what do I do? Cat-niss Everdeen Hey CE, I like my stray cats […]

August 9, 2015

Q: Hi Agatha, I’ve recently taken a lover. However, there is a bit of an age gap between my slam piece and me. I’m 19 and he is 26. When he was in his first year at university, I was 11. Is this too weird? What is an acceptable age gap? -Slammin’ Sally Hey SS, […]

August 2, 2015

Dear Agatha, I recently got stood up on a blind date. I’m not sure if the person came and saw me then left, or just flaked out completely. It’s so humiliating and I don’t know what to do now! Have you got any advice? -Dejected and Dateless Chin up DD! I have the perfect remedy […]