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AuthorEmma Maguire

Author Archive: Emma Maguire

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September 24, 2018

I grew up on sci-fi, so you better believe that I’ve seen a lot of it. While my peers were watching appropriate things as children (Disney Channel, Nickelodeon, etc), I firmly became besotted by Doctor Who, Stargate, and Star Trek by the age of nine. That’s probably why I’ve still not seen most Disney films, […]

September 17, 2018

Porn really loses its appeal after you’ve gotten off, but I suffered through more than an hour of this 133 minute monstrosity — drunk, alone, on a Sunday — in the name of journalistic integrity. What is Batman v Superman XXX? It’s Batman v Superman, except not. The Joker’s kidnapped Lois Lane, Superman’s off banging […]

August 6, 2018

I sat down with Keegan Bragg and Ben Wilson, the director and the writer of Almost Sober, a new thirteen-person theatre show currently being performed at Club 121 in the CBD. We talked about their show, why theatre shouldn’t just be for theatre people and how Almost Sober is a love letter to Wellington’s nightlife. […]

July 30, 2018

I liked Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom and I can’t believe I’m saying that. Yes, we all know that Jurassic World (the one with all the product placement) was a bloated, capitalistic mess, but I genuinely found some fun in the sequel. Not because of Chris Pratt, because personally, I’d be happy if Chris Pratt died […]

June 5, 2018

Hey fam, you’re allowed to watch shit films. I know, as a film writer, I should be shilling for the newest film that any old white dude with a good reputation has got coming out. It’s only sensible. Lars Von Trier’s got a new film out! Let’s all watch that! He’s a genius, an incredible […]

May 14, 2018

Hey, I’m Emma, I’m here on a holiday from the film section for this issue. You’ll find your usual commentators across in the film section, and your regular scheduled programming will return next week. “This show will wreck your evening, your home life, and your day. Every single episode is nothing but dismay. Look away.” […]

May 7, 2018

“Let’s Talk about Sex” Director — Lisa Burd 4.5/5 stars Julia Sloane (Real Housewives of Auckland) throws us into a world of sexuality in New Zealand. It’s bizarre to sit down and watch a documentary on diversity helmed by the very woman who called someone the n-word on national television, but I set aside my […]

April 30, 2018

The Old: Lars and the Real Girl By Amy Stimson 4.5 stars This is perhaps the saddest film I have ever loved. I watched it in a cinema full of people who watched it and laughed at the funny parts. I cried. I was doing my Masters thesis on loneliness at the time and the […]

April 16, 2018

The Old: Human Centipede (2009) 1/5 The Human Centipede is a terrible film. I got very drunk over Easter and watched it. A maniacal guy kidnaps three people and sews them together into a human centipede. He then tortures them for 92 minutes until they die. I’d wonder where this director gets his film ideas […]