Please, allow me to bluster on through this desert of self-flagellation and justify my wallowing to you, undeserving reader. What goes unacknowledged, by those who tell me that “I am my own harshest critic”, is that impossible is something. Read more »
Posts By: Hilary Beattie
Missing: One ‘A’ Game
If found, please spray-paint gold and teach intimacy. Read more »
Honesty Really is the Best Policy
How to be a decent human being in the face of unrequited love. Read more »
Mulled Whine With H.G. Beattie
I met this guy once—total babe—and upon our second encounter executed absolutely devastating game, none of which he responded to because he was high as a kite and physically unable to speak. Read more »
Lite Mayonnaise Is Shit
There is a twenty-year-old social equivalent of being sixteen and not driving other people while on your Restricted, and I don’t know what it is, but I’m probably doing it, and it’s probably dire. Read more »
Mulled Whine With H.G. Beattie
Steven, why did someone look at me strangely after they said that my degree was ‘classic civil servant stuff’ and I rejoined with ‘ah, well, you see, I hope to one day end up in the bowels of a government department, shunted sideways into some kind of not-quite-middle- management tax-related capacity?’ Read more »
Mulled Whine With H.G. Beattie
So I had better get onto writing my memoirs now. I can save you time with yours: don’t look to Memoirs of a Geisha. Or the fictitious but equally uninstructive memoirs of a gay Shah. (“They didn’t eject me, Iran!” – thank you and goodnight.) Read more »
Mulled Whine with H.G. Beattie
Cleverness (Or, Cultivating Your Social Awkwardness to Create a Presumption of Intelligence is Easier than ...Read more »
Mulled Whine with H.G. Beattie
This is where erotica falls down for me. Bridget Jones is flawed yet somehow different, right, but you’re under no false impression that her first time was with some Gosling lookalike in a four-poster bed overlooking the Seine where they had simultaneous orgasms and then just held each other for three days straight because he wanted to. Read more »
Mulled Whine with H. G. Beattie
I regret to inform you that you are not as good as my dad. Thanks for playing. Read more »
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