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AuthorJoe Morris

Author Archive: Joe Morris

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September 18, 2016

In the Olympic charter, the Games—both ‘para-’ and otherwise—are to be accessed by “the widest possible audience,” through the “fullest-coverage by different media.” Yet Sky TV severely inhibited the licensing of content to NZME (Herald) and Fairfax (stuff.co.nz) during the Olympics. The situation is now even worse during the Paralympics. The economic incentive is not […]

September 4, 2016

Objectively speaking ‘Hera’ is a beautiful name even if in formal situations you introduce yourself forthwith: ‘Lindsay Bird’. A half lie   propagated before the whole in which you deliver sincerely the lines: “I am savant in the breeder business I’m re-elongating pugs’ noses.”   With your hair pulled back a nondescript audience— nodding—fails to […]

September 4, 2016

Kieran Read: Ah yeah Shag, Boss, mate—just before you start—there seems to be a bug on my seat. The listening device found at the All Black’s hotel in Sydney was surely meant for a high level diplomat, or some multi-national CEO type. It was, I thought, more likely to have been there since Putin visited […]

August 7, 2016

You did not kill the fish only to keep alive and to sell for food, he thought. You killed for pride and because you are a fisherman. You loved him when he was alive and you loved him after. If you love him, it is not a sin to kill him. Or is it more? […]

July 17, 2016

The day after the Marriage (Definition of Marriage) Amendment Act (2013) was constituted, Labour MP Louisa Wall—a former national rugby and netball representative—expressed her joy: “It reminded me of a World Cup tournament… it’s been quite challenging, but it got more and more intense as we got to the final, and last night was the […]

May 29, 2016

  Saturday night saw the much anticipated bout between the Joseph “wears a suit to Burger King” Parker, and Carlos “I’ve never been to a pre-fight conference at Burger King, until now” Takam. The fight took place at the Vodafone Events Centre in South Auckland, surrounded by what the New Zealand Herald labelled “an odour […]

May 15, 2016

A column on marginalised sports could well be a column on women in sports. Yet in writing this bi-weekly segment I’ve hardly mentioned women, apart from the tendency of professional—male—footballers to sleep with them. I feel like that time I told the woman in my social cricket team the opposition would go easy on her. […]

May 1, 2016

The anticipation of winter has been building over these uncannily fine autumn days, and with it, the Mount Victoria Bowls club winds down into its off-season. The communal box of jacks and bowls is locked away and the clover is left to grow. Those familiar with the spot will be dreaming of next summer, when […]

April 10, 2016

“Sports!” remit is to delve into the under-appreciated sports around Wellington. This week breaks the rule, exploring the world of New Zealand’s sole fully professional football club: the Wellington Phoenix. Football continually plays second fiddle to the self-professed national sport—rugby. Phoenix players earn around $60,000 annually. Super Rugby players? $125,000 to $190,000. More to the […]