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AuthorJoe Morris

Author Archive: Joe Morris

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September 4, 2016

Kieran Read: Ah yeah Shag, Boss, mate—just before you start—there seems to be a bug on my seat. The listening device found at the All Black’s hotel in Sydney was surely meant for a high level diplomat, or some multi-national CEO type. It was, I thought, more likely to have been there since Putin visited […]

August 7, 2016

You did not kill the fish only to keep alive and to sell for food, he thought. You killed for pride and because you are a fisherman. You loved him when he was alive and you loved him after. If you love him, it is not a sin to kill him. Or is it more? […]

July 17, 2016

The day after the Marriage (Definition of Marriage) Amendment Act (2013) was constituted, Labour MP Louisa Wall—a former national rugby and netball representative—expressed her joy: “It reminded me of a World Cup tournament… it’s been quite challenging, but it got more and more intense as we got to the final, and last night was the […]

May 29, 2016

  Saturday night saw the much anticipated bout between the Joseph “wears a suit to Burger King” Parker, and Carlos “I’ve never been to a pre-fight conference at Burger King, until now” Takam. The fight took place at the Vodafone Events Centre in South Auckland, surrounded by what the New Zealand Herald labelled “an odour […]

May 15, 2016

A column on marginalised sports could well be a column on women in sports. Yet in writing this bi-weekly segment I’ve hardly mentioned women, apart from the tendency of professional—male—footballers to sleep with them. I feel like that time I told the woman in my social cricket team the opposition would go easy on her. […]

May 1, 2016

The anticipation of winter has been building over these uncannily fine autumn days, and with it, the Mount Victoria Bowls club winds down into its off-season. The communal box of jacks and bowls is locked away and the clover is left to grow. Those familiar with the spot will be dreaming of next summer, when […]

April 10, 2016

“Sports!” remit is to delve into the under-appreciated sports around Wellington. This week breaks the rule, exploring the world of New Zealand’s sole fully professional football club: the Wellington Phoenix. Football continually plays second fiddle to the self-professed national sport—rugby. Phoenix players earn around $60,000 annually. Super Rugby players? $125,000 to $190,000. More to the […]

March 20, 2016

University is a perfect time for young adults to develop a financial interest in the more nefarious, governmentally endorsed side of our sporting past times. Course related costs could be doubled with a trip to your local TAB (Totalisator Agency Board). Why not go double or nothing with your minimum wage paycheck? The $10.00 left […]

March 6, 2016

The institution integral to our national identity—sports! So integral, wife-beaters are found not guilty if they can prove their unwavering affection towards sport (re: Tony Veitch). And parents will forever stand in winter gales—weet-bix ad-esque—to watch Johnny get smashed by a “7th former.” “Sports!” provides some insight into the less elite sporting arenas, from badly […]