Author — Jules van Cruysen

Author Archive: Jules van Cruysen

HAILING FROM the upper-middle- class hell of Havelock North, Jules is in the final semester of a bachelor’s degree in Trenchermanship (majoring in Gourmandry), is a self-professed Anarcho-Dandy and resides in the Aro Valley. He likes to spend his days pursuing whimsical follies of every sort and his evenings gallivanting through the bars and restaurants of Wellington in search of the perfect wine list. He has unfailingly dedicated his life to the excessive consumption of food and drink (despite having no discernable way of paying for it), and expects to die of simultaneous heart and kidney failure at thirty-nine. His only hope is that very soon people will start to pay him for his opinions (of which he is endowed with aplenty). Jules has a penchant for vintage Oloroso.

rss feed

Author's Website


Today, I can authoritatively answer that age old question – “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” (I have read the first few pages of both The Origin of the Species and The Selfish Gene). The egg came first – on the grand scale (as the egg must have evolved before the chicken), on [...]


When we talk of something tasting like chicken what we really mean is that it tastes like nothing in particular, which is what most supermarket-bought chickens taste like. Believe it or not, chicken used to taste like something – that something being chicken. Share on Facebook+1 on Google+Post to TumblrTweet this


Last week, I looked at various types of oil. However, I ran out of column space before I could mention my favorite category – animal fats. This column is more than a little self indulgent; having just been told that I have high cholesterol I was ordered by my doctor to exercise more and to [...]


We use oils in cooking for many different reasons, most commonly to prevent things from sticking to other things when heating them; we also use them for flavour and to change the texture of food. Each type of oil is used for a different purpose, here is a little run down of what oil is [...]


So, you have moved into your flat and done the obligatory collective flat shop where you bought cereal, toast, toilet paper, milk, marmite and beer (all the essentials), but did you get anything that you could contemplate eating for dinner? Probably not. And trust me, Satay Kingdom gets pretty boring when it’s all you have [...]


Welcome to university for those here for the first time, and welcome back to those who decided not to drop out and join the circus. To those who didn’t leave: get a life and go out and get some sun, you are never going to attract a mate with those pasty white legs. Share on [...]


Overall, it has been a good year for theatre in Wellington, but there have been two particular trends that I find most worrying. Share on Facebook+1 on Google+Post to TumblrTweet this


Set in London in 1888, Yours Truly is one take on the mystery that was Jack the Ripper. It is a darkly psychological and cinematic play that will leave you feeling violated, alone and frightened (in a good way – this is what the play is trying to achieve). Share on Facebook+1 on Google+Post to [...]


The Improvisors are Wellington’s premiere improvisation troupe who, throughout the ages, have had a regular Sunday night spot at Circa Theatre. This is their second season of 2006 (they first played in the Comedy Festival and over winter) and is delivered to the audience in an ‘Idol’ format. Share on Facebook+1 on Google+Post to TumblrTweet [...]