AuthorPhilip McSweeney

Author Archive: Philip McSweeney

rss feed

June 1, 2015

I’d like to take a brief moment to offer a massive shout-out to all the parents in the place with style and grace, whether “regular” or “step-” or otherwise. Even in practical terms the responsibility is daunting. Sleepless nights spent tending to mewling, projectile-shitting devilspawn. Dealing with terrible twos and terrible teens (Mother, Father: I’m […]

May 24, 2015

The best places to take a dump on campus We begin the spans of our lives as helpless, yowling, crying, shitting menaces. We don’t really evolve from this stage of infancy so much as learn to hide our true selves better. So, as appallingly biological as it is, even as “mature” “adults” we still shit, […]

May 24, 2015

In terms of a linear narrative I can only offer you this: on Saturday, I had acquired enough of a quiet accord with David Mitchell (either “Not that David Mitchell!” or “Yes, that David Mitchell!” depending on how you prefer to spend your free time) that he offered me a “sup” nod of recognition when […]

May 17, 2015

Ever walked past a construction site with a friend? Tyres squeal, diggers crunch, the yells of the foreman at unpredictable moments sound like a rasping opera singer. Amongst the cacophony you might be privy to the death-rattle of a spade being dragged across concrete, the dissonant hum of some industrial equipment that enters your taringas […]

May 3, 2015

Logan Brown: Better Than Double Brown?

April 19, 2015

It was early morning on 25 April, 1915. A convoy of Australian and New Zealand soldiers had just sighted Gallipoli, a beach in the Dardanelles where the lucky would reside for years. Ellis Silas noted in his diary “the weather this morning is beautiful; what will it be tonight?” But I’m getting ahead of myself: […]

March 29, 2015

Like many people with synesthesia, Tori didn’t know that her senses worked a little differently until she was 15. The school she went to screened a short film about the perils of not wearing a bike helmet. One scene showed a man crash his bike before cutting to a close-up of the fellows head being […]

March 8, 2015

Last February, at the last Camp A Low Hum ever, Ian Jorgensen, who goes by the alias “Blink”, woke up to muddy, sodden grounds and the faces of some festival-goers who were clearly not having a good time. “I’m not proud,” he wrote after the event finished, “but at that moment I threw my head back and wept.”

March 1, 2015

The ballots are closed and the results are in: the winner of the Oscars, for the 87th consecutive year, was the advertising industry. Despite a slight downturn from last year’s numbers, The Oscars’ televised live ceremony drew in a crowd of 37 million legal American viewers and no doubt plenty more illegal ones, myself amongst […]