A local Ulsan landmark whose function has puzzled many Western commentators.

In a shock move that left many analysts stunned today, Samuel Bowen Partridge was offered an English teaching job in Ulsan City, South Korea, which he promptly accepted. Where mere days before he was “deep in the doldrums” according to sources close to Samuel, he is now elated at the teaching agency that did in two days what all the others couldn’t in two months—secure him work in a favourable location at market-rate pay.

“Sure, I gotta wait two months to get out there but I’m just psyched to finally have something going for me for once,” Samuel said in a recent statement to the media. However, some analysts, while happy for him, do worry that Samuel has jumped into something straight away when he could have possibly found better work in a larger city. David Seans, in his weekly column for The New York Post, noted that “Ulsan is a quiet industrial city of only 1 million people in a country of over 50 million!”, and that “Samuel may have been able to get better work elsewhere, as, in two months the job market opens up for the half-yearly intake.” In short, it’s likely if he hadn’t desperately jumped on this opportunity, others would have made themselves available.

Whether he lives to regret the hastiness of the decision will be a discussion for the future, but currently the Samuel Bowen Partridge camp is in celebration mode—and who can blame them. Samuel has been waiting for work now for upwards of three months. “It’s like a dream come true, we’re all so happy for Samuel!” said a volunteer SBP staffer at the campaign’s celebration event.

And as for Ulsan city itself, the local populous are welcoming of the idea. “Yeah… I spose we could do with a couple more white people in Ulsan,” said ‘Harry Keum’, the number one pinch-hitter for the Ulsan City Dragons Baseball team, who was more than a little confused at Western News Media groups pitching the question to him. “I thought you guys were here about our weekend match against the GanJu Cherry Blosoms? At the moment we’re 3–0, so we’re going into the game pretty confident, past form against the Cherry Blossoms included or not.”

When quizzed on his opinions on the inter-Korean Baseball League or indeed his feelings on Professional Baseball itself, Samuel refused to comment, but reminded the media to celebrate and focus on the positives of his job offer, and not on “a vapid sport made popular by secessionist immigrants of mainly ‘baser’ Irish and Scottish ancestory”.

The Republic of (South) Korea

-
Susceptible to: occasional typhoons; low-level seismic activity; Socialist invasion; East Asian-styled pop music.
-
Population: 48,508,972
South Korean language schools are known to offer the best deals to foreign teachers, including prepaid flights, accommodation, low cost of living and relative high pay coupled with low work hours.
-
Young New Zealand-born male teachers with good degrees who are looking for work will only do as an alternative if Americans, Canadians or any other woman cannot be found. However, at this current time, along with the rest of the world, the Republic of (South) Korea is dealing with the effects of the worldwide economic downturn, and as such work for foreign English teachers is drying up. It is common practice for Korean language schools to request photos of foreign applicants before they are accepted. This, coupled with requirements for a criminal background check, drugs and AIDS test and good academic marks from a recognised university makes the application a long and thorough one.
-
As of this date (March, 08, 2010), Samuel Bowen Partridge (S.B.P.) has unsuccessfully been looking for suitable work in the Republic of (South) Korea for four months. Unsure as he is, he has three offers to go to work immediately at language schools in rural and industrial centres and is considering giving up his dreams of the ‘Bohemia’ that was to be his Seoul experience.
Wondering if his failures are because his photos are not homely enough (patriarchal South Koreans are known to be susceptible to ‘xenophobic angst’ at the idea of Western men getting K-babes), he is now very much in despair. The idea of living in a country town, or a coal pit populated by dirty (mud or soot-covered) plebs and few other Westerners is, at this moment, an unappealing one. Samuel has been reading Green Hills of Africa and the unease and frustration that Hemingway feels surrounded by African tribesmen informs his own anxieties.
-
On the ground the situation remains tense, but the impasse cannot continue indefinitely, in fact many experts believe that a break in the deadlock will occur in matter of days as despair begins to settle in—expect Samuel to capitulate soon.