Viewport width =

AuthorSasha Beattie

Author Archive: Sasha Beattie

rss feed

May 21, 2018

We’re picking at low-hanging fruit today. Let’s talk about sucking dick. (Dad, let me say it one more time: this is not the column for you.) Sucking dick is great, and boy howdy do I take pride in my work. Hell, I have wet dreams about giving head. As someone pointed out the other day, […]

May 21, 2018

Should New Zealand abolish prisons? VicNats Once the Ardern-Peters government has legislated away crime, alongside poverty and the housing crisis, we look forward to enthusiastically supporting the abolition of prisons too. Such will be a further step towards the socialist paradise we all deserve, and can obviously so easily achieve. – Grahame Woods VicLabour Prisons […]

May 14, 2018

Is the Government’s policy to accept 1500 refugees per year enough or too little? Does your party believe New Zealand has the resources to accept more? Greens at Vic  More people are displaced around the world right now than at any time since World War II. 65.6 million people are displaced from their homes; 22.5 […]

May 7, 2018

Should the Government intervene to halt the closure of specialist libraries at Auckland University? VicNats No. Universities operate as independent crown entities and are free to make their own choices about how they best use their assets. The Young Nats believe that if the Government intervened at the  University of Auckland, it would be a […]

May 7, 2018

Once upon a time I trained in ballet and jazz, I watch too much RuPaul’s Drag Race, and I tend to have a robust opinion on everything. It makes sense then, that I am an intolerable person with which to watch Dancing with the Stars. Who on God’s green earth are 70% of these  kiwi […]

May 7, 2018

In the wake of Hurricane Maria, Kylie Jenner has weighed in on how she chose her daughter’s name: “I feel like there were a lot of other names that I might have even liked better to be honest, but I feel like Stormi picked her own name, like it was just her name.” Truly insightful […]

April 30, 2018

Who is one of your party’s young up-and-comers to keep an eye on? Why? VicNats The National Party is extremely lucky to not only have one, but a caucus full of young up-and-comers. This can be seen with our most recent addition to the National Party’s caucus, Nicola Willis. Her and the rest of the […]

April 16, 2018

According to the application’s parent company IAC, as of mid-April Tinder usage in New Zealand has gone up by 43%. With temperatures in Wellington dropping below 10°C, cuffing season has slapped the capital like a limp dick, and to stay warm many Victoria University students have resorted to fucking strangers. Students said while they’re happy […]

April 16, 2018

The public playground behind Weir House is in the process of being replaced, with expectations that this will be complete by the end of April. The old playground equipment had passed its use-by date, and needed updating to comply with the Council’s “asset management planning, play spaces policy, [and] suburban reserves management plans,” as well […]