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AuthorSasha Beattie

Author Archive: Sasha Beattie

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July 17, 2017

Welcome back to hell kids. In things that have remained consistent over the break: my cynical disposition; my touchy-at-best mental health; my inability to hand assignments in on time. Also the New Zealand Government pissing money at stupid shit while there are people in this country sleeping in cars and committing suicide. 20 things that […]

June 6, 2017

This is an updated version of the opinion piece “Damned if you do. Damned if you Don’t.” that appeared in print (Issue 12) on June 05.   My best mentors and teachers have always been men. Why? Because I have great legs, great tits, and a huge smile that God gave to me. Because I […]

May 29, 2017

Good morning to everyone except the people feeling personally attacked by my “men are trash” chat two weeks ago, and welcome to your bi-weekly intake of petty, aggressive, and unapologetic feminism! Entering into an open dialogue with people of opposing ideologies is one of many available methodologies one might utilise as a means to engage […]

May 15, 2017

I’m trying to be optimistic by looking at the year as nearly halfway over so here are, in no particular order, ten of the shittest yarns that I have heard thus far in 2017:   “VUW is 100% Smoke Free.” If I’m sitting underneath a Smoke Free sign outside university at 7.50am, holding a cup […]

May 1, 2017

This one night, my flatmate and I decided to play an ill-conceived game called Drink Everything In The House. One thing led to another, and, well, you know how girls get after half a bottle of week-open wine and a can of Smirnoff Ice. So this guy I matched with on Tinder came over, let’s […]

April 3, 2017

My love for The Bachelor is kinda like my taste in men: I love trash. Both these preferences could be described as atrocities that you can only bear witness to in abject horror with one eye covered by a pillow; both solicit the obvious question, “what’s the fucking point?” I realise that The Bachelor epitomises […]

March 20, 2017

“Enough, with the femmo propaganda bullshit Sash.” Ye okay; I intended to give y’all just the tip last week but I really did go balls deep into that one, sorry team. What can I say? I’m an avid SJW and I take pride in my work. Lighter topics! Politics! Have you ever extensively hypothesised over […]