Author — Wilbur Townsend

Author Archive: Wilbur Townsend

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Bangs is shit. His rapping is as ferocious as a Bichon Frisé, his rhymes as deep as a puddle of vomit. His millions of YouTube hits are evidence only of hipsterdom’s thirst for irony.


Why you should be angry at the Government for subsidising your degree.


Politicians and political hacks like to pretend they know much more about the world than you do. They use a whole lot of wanky jargon, hoping you think they are smarter than they really are. Luckily, Salient is here to fix that. Welcome to our guide to decoding the budget.


Paternalism is paternalism, and it is crude to dress it as anything else.
The public health belligerents are cocking their weapons. Proposals like fat taxes and the outright prohibition of certain foods are patronising, ignoring the value of our choices.


‘Hide and Seek’ is a masterpiece, and ‘Whatcha Say’ has less artistic merit than most dog poops.


The World Travel & Tourism Council expect only a 1 per cent increase in 2012’s British tourism spending, because the Olympics discourage the sport-apathetic from visiting.


WATER THE FUCK Water, I’m reliably informed, is important. Without it everybody dies quite quickly. Combine that importance with a hearty dose of racism and we can understand why, over the last few weeks, Tangata Whenua water rights have dominated political discourse. As the Waitangi Tribunal focuses on our country’s rivers, it’s time to ask: [...]


With banks, bonds and German bullies, the ongoing chaos in Europe is not only frightening, but also bewildering. Salient explains the crisis.


If the warmongers are to be believed, we are slipping into nuclear apocalypse. They insist that a tyrannical and insane North Korean executive is plotting to exact nuclear oblivion upon the Western world. Recent news seems to confirm this: the Musudan-ri missile launch site is nearing completion and rumours of another nuclear detonation are abound. [...]