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AuthorZuke Casablo

Author Archive: Zuke Casablo

ABANDONED AT birth, Casablo was raised on the street, honing a never say die attitude and a taste for the blood of babies and puppies. One day Casablo looked up at the newspaper that had so loyally kept him warm at night and was horrified at what stared back at him, making it his life goal to fight the system in the most horribly ineffectual of ways. When not writing – or pretending to be inebriated – Casablo runs a horribly unsuccessful private detective agency with his crime-fighting partner, Fifi Mimosa.

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October 9, 2006

PEOPLE INSIDE ME ARE ASKING ME TO BLOW UP CITY HALL.

October 2, 2006

Clinton makes Fox News his bitch.

September 25, 2006

NEVER KNOWINGLY TAKING THE MORAL HIGH GROUND.

September 18, 2006

TV3 ASKS THE BURNING QUESTION: JUST HOW DOES DON BRASH MANAGE TO KEEP GETTING GIRLS?

September 11, 2006

STEVE IRWIN’S DEAD: MEDIA NOT ABOVE HIJACKING TRAGEDY FOR SUBSTANDARD HUMOUR ‘Crikey! He’s Dead’

September 4, 2006

WHAT’S WITH THE BLOODLUST? I was disgusted with Thursday’s front page “Ashleygate” update. Why, why, why do we need to know every graphic and inhumane last detail of how he died? Can’t something be left between that sick, inhumane fuck that killed him and God?

August 14, 2006

The Antidote There is this fallacy that we will all act like informed individuals in everything we do. That in accordance with some liberal wet dream, at every school council vote, general election and bake sale we will all read up like robo-geeks so that we can all sit back and say that democracy was […]

August 7, 2006

The Dominion caressed new lows this week. Wednesday’s Dom was the most racist newspaper I’d seen in a long time, providing irrefutable evidence to the widely held idea that the only murder that is really news is when a brown person offs a white person.

July 31, 2006

The Monday Dominion is almost spiritual. Faced with the backbreaking demands of a forty-hour week, family and all that true blue slice of pie bullshit that comes free with scene setting sentences like these, Wellington get relieved from the pressures of their humdrum existence by the first issue of the Dominion Post since Saturday.