The Artistic Progression of SPAM
I remember when spam was all about getting a larger penis, a fake degree and some porn. Back then the funniest spam email header I ever received was “Mohammed Erectile Disfunction.” But a wee while ago the spammers decided to disguise their emails as fake breaking news updates, and they are magnificent. To celebrate the artistic rise of spam, here are my favourites:
“Bodyguards positioned outside Britney’s vagina”
“Theodore Roosevely was a gay man”
“Paris Hilton to Operate New Atom Smasher”
“BREAKING NEWS: Attack of the Zombie Negroes: Dick Cheney”
These pieces of genius all give me a little chuckle in the morning. Slightly more perturbing, however, are the ones that could conceivably be real news – such as “Obama withdraws from Presidential race”. Although I know that such news is all false when I clear them from my junkbox, they are nevertheless imprinted on my brain, leaving me with the impression that a bunch of stuff which hasn’t happened actually has. And that’s some freaky shit, y’all.
