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April 16, 2018

The Old: Human Centipede (2009) 1/5 The Human Centipede is a terrible film. I got very drunk over Easter and watched it. A maniacal guy kidnaps three people and sews them together into a human centipede. He then tortures them for 92 minutes until they die. I’d wonder where this director gets his film ideas […]

April 9, 2018

(This is not exactly a film review.) So you’ve probably been in Wellington for a little while now. Maybe the lure of Wellington’s (very glamorous) film scene drew you here. A lot of movies are filmed in and around Wellington. Most of those movies are not actually set in Wellington. Here’s a ranked list of […]

March 26, 2018

(Only one of these films is actually about bears.) The New: Paddington 2 (2017) 5/5 By Meg Doughty When the world of uni, Studylink, and your damp Aro Valley flat feels especially cold and cruel, snuggle yourself up and put on Paddington 2. If you haven’t seen the first instalment,  Paddington, I would highly recommend […]

March 19, 2018

The Old: In Bruges (2008) 5/5 By Lauren White Following a botched job, two Irish hitmen (Brendan Gleeson, Colin Farrell) are sent to the city of Bruges, Belgium, to await further instructions from their boss Harry (Ralph Fiennes). Films like to portray assassins in the formulaic “Bond” light; unfeeling, clinical professionals, detached from morality. Allowing […]

March 12, 2018

TW: sexual assault The Old: Into the Forest (2015) 4/5 stars By Emma Maguire The saying, “this is the way the world ends, not with a bang, but a whimper,” seems especially relevant in regards to this film. Set just after the destruction of the world’s power grid, Into the Forest takes us to the […]

March 5, 2018

The Old: Skyfall (2012) 4/5 By Emma Maguire 2012’s Skyfall opens with a frenzied chase across The Great Bazaar in Istanbul and with James Bond being shot in the shoulder, seemingly falling to his death. The trouble starts from there. Nominated for five Oscars and winning two of them (for Best Original Song and Best […]

February 26, 2018

The Old: The Riot Club (2014) 1/5 Take a bunch of wealthy boys, put them in an alcohol-fuelled situation, and give them absolutely no repercussions for their actions. What could go wrong? 2014’s The Riot Club is a misinformed attempt at a cautionary tale. Two new Oxford College boys are invited to join the ‘Riot […]

October 14, 2017

There were too many good films this year to write a concise list, but it certainly helps that I’ve already written GLOWING reviews for mother!, My Life As A Courgette and IT. The list below is not exhaustive. Further recommendations are Raw and Get Out for some alternative horror fun; Logan and Split for violent […]

October 9, 2017

The other day I started sketching out a “Best Films of the Year” list. This was as much a precautionary measure for an upcoming Salient issue as a tactical device to dispatch questions along the lines of “what should I watch?” with ease. As it turned out, half of the list were documentaries. This year, […]