Essentially, the world of female ejaculation is ripe with mystery. How do you do it? Why can some girls squirt and others can’t? AND FOR GOD’S SAKE IS IT PEE OR NOT?!

Despite the time and effort it takes to make someone squirt, it’s fucking worth it. Have you ever seen a girl after it’s happened? It’s like she’s drunk/stoned/surrounded by puppies/shopping all at once.

So ladies and gentleman, I present to you, Bridget Bones’ guide to female ejaculation:

1. Learn where the G-spot is: That’s where all the action takes place. You’ve got focus on that bad boy for anything to happen.
2. Turn her on: For most women, they need to be hella horny before they can squirt. I suggest learning a Magic Mike routine for maximum effect, but if you can’t quite swing that, some foreplay should start to do the trick.
3. The “come here” technique: Using your fingers, gently rub your girls g-spot in a come-here motion, like you’re on the d-floor at Hope Bros (RIP), except you’re in a vagina. Easy.
4. Ladies: Relax. It’s gonna feel like you need to pee. You’re not. It’s a good thing, so roll with it.
5. Experiment. Use a toy, watch some porn, whatever works for you. Enjoy the experience!
6. Get a towel: Ladies can ejaculate up to a quarter of a cup of fluid while squirting, so it’s a good idea to keep a towel handy. It’s not pee, so don’t freak out. She gets the same feeling when you cum all over the sheets, so be respectful.

Of course, there’s probably a million more things to say, but that’s the general gist of it. Learning to squirt can be time consuming, but I promise it’s worth it for both of you.

As always, stay safe, and enjoy your summer break. Don’t get too frisky ;) xxx

When it comes to anal sex, I’ve heard you either love it or you hate it. It’s one of those things where you have to try it to find out; someone else’s sexperiences just aren’t going to cut it when it comes to butt stuff. And if you decide you want to try anal, you’ve gotta make sure you do it right. Otherwise it’s probably going to be horrific and end in pain and possibly poo.

Most people see anal as “special occasion sex”. I don’t understand what it is about someone’s birthday that suddenly makes you decide to take a dick up your arse, but whatever. If you’re going to do it, make sure it’s on your terms, and you’re well and truly prepared for it. And remember these top tips to ensure your anal experience is one you’ll remember for the right reasons!

1. Poo first. Seriously. If there’s even a chance you might need to go poo during sex, ABORT THE MISSION and go find a loo. Don’t think you can hold it in. You can’t.
2. Relax. You want your butthole to be nice and relaxed (oh my God), otherwise it’s going to hurt. Take a deep breath, and let all that tension out. If you really can’t relax, but you still want to do it, sex shops sell numbing spray that apparently helps.
3. Use toys/fingers first. Don’t go straight for the kill with a penis. It’s a shock to the system.
4. Use lube. Lots and lots of lube.

Take things slow, find out what you like and what you can handle, and don’t put too much pressure on the situation. There’s nothing “gross” or “slutty” about wanting to have, or even enjoying, anal. It can be fucking awesome, as long as you do it right.

xx

You know the one ladies. The half hour of total pain as some foreign woman rips hair off the most intimate part of your body with some hot wax and a cloth. Much glamorous.

I’m not a huge fan of the Brazilian. Mostly because it hurts. But also, I really cannot think of much worse than lying on a table having someone wax my arsehole (yup, that happens too) and chat to me about their weekend. BUT, for some strange reason, once every six weeks I take myself down to the salon to endure the removal of hair.

WHY? Who the fuck decided that the vagina of a woman entering her second decade needs to look exactly the same as it did when she was 11—completely hairless?

Admittedly, I do it for my boyfriend. I would hate for him to have to try and deal with the forest that can ensue if I get too lazy to wax. But some weird, oversexualised part of me does it, well, for me. I want to have a perfect pussy. So I grit my teeth, spread my legs, and wait for the pain.

Guys, you can get Brazilians too. Lord knows how it works, and I’m sure it’s pretty painful, but hey, if that’s what you’re into, you do. (I’m pretty sure Olympic swimmers get that shit waxed in order to streamline. Maybe it makes sex better?)

There’s nothing wrong with not waxing, some people just aren’t into that. But, if like me, you’d rather be bald as a badger on your nether regions, then welcome to what I am officially calling the Pretty Kitty Committee.

Dominance and Submission

The core element to kink is the role of dom and sub. Dominant partners are those who like to be in control while getting freaky. Subs prefer to let the dom do the work and enjoy being told what to do. There are also “power bottoms”; a gay male term for those doms who prefer to receive rather than give during sex. This is all about a power play, and it’s great for those of you who love to be in control, and for those who love to sit back and let someone else do all the hard work. Most people naturally fit into one of these roles, but don’t be afraid to experiment and take turns; I promise you won’t regret it!

Bondage

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me.” Rihanna had it right when she wrote “S&M”, bondage can be a whole lotta fun. Now, granted, watching bondage porn can be terrifying, as I’m pretty sure the majority of us can not bend like that, but I’m told the experience is incredible. The whole idea of bondage is, not surprisingly, being bound and restrained. Bondage is about the feeling of control, or lack of. Bondage is consensually tying, binding, or restraining a partner for erotic or aesthetic simulation. For beginners, bondage may simply be those joke pink fluffy handcuffs you received for your 18th birthday. However bondage also involves the use of rope, cuffs, tape, or whatever you can tie someone up with, in order to do just that. The letter “B” in the acronym “BDSM” comes from the word “bondage”. The whole idea of bondage is both for pleasure and for the way it looks. The dominant partner gets to feel in control, while the submissive (or sub) gets to feel, well, submissive.

Don’t be afraid of getting a little kinky in the boudoir. Of course, there’s more involved in kink, so do your research, find out what works for you, and most of all, enjoy yourself!

When we first hear the word “kink”, many of us imagine a latex-clad dominatrix wielding a 9-inch dildo with pink fluffy handcuffs hanging off her crotchless panties. And heck, some people are into that. But there is SO MUCH MORE to the world of kink. Let me repeat: kinky sex is not all about semi-terrifying fucking to your heart’s, or private parts’, content. A little kink can go a long way in spicing up a sex life, or making your one night stand remember your name. It’s different, it’s exciting, it’s sexy.

Now, I’ll happily admit I’m into a bit of the kinky-dinky stuff. Not heavily into it, but I’ll dabble. And I give it my seal of approval. Kink is all about pushing the boundaries of sex, and leaning away from that missionary-vanilla shit they teach you in sex-ed. It means you can get uber intimate with whoever you’re boning, and explore fantasies you’ve had since you became comfortable using the “search” bar on Pornhub. And although “kink” does sound dirty as fuck, it’s not all about BDSM (for those of you who aren’t up to date with your sexual terminology, BDSM is a variety of sexual practices that tend to involve dominance and submission, roleplay and restraint). “Kink” can involve a range of freaky acts that will make you go dayuuuuum, and question whether it’s normal to want someone to tie you to the bed and bone you. It involves fetishes, curiosities and desires, but is, of course, focused on achieving that mind-blowing orgasm we all desire. When it comes to kink, there’s something for everyone. You just have to be open-minded and see where the night takes you.

Coming from a female perspective, Tinder is a minefield of half-clothed, snapback wearing, “hanging with the squad” males looking for somewhere to put their dick. I’m sure girls are just as bad, but that’s just what I’ve seen—for the most part it’s about sifting through a gazillion profiles and swiping left so much you think you’re in a Beyonce song. If you’re using Tinder, expect to see at least some of the following:

1. A selfie of them flexing at the gym.
2. A selfie of them in bed, looking sleepy yet seductive.
3. A picture of them with the squad, so you can’t tell which one you’re actually swiping for.
4. A list of their likes and dislikes, including how they like to have fun and/or relax (hint: sex).
5. A picture of them in Thailand, probably from 2010.
6. A bio mentioning their Instagram.
7. An ass/abs selfie.
8. If you’re lucky, a picture of them and their partner saying they’re “looking for a good time”.

Tinder is comedy gold, but keep in mind these are real people, with real feelings, so be nice, swipe left if you’re not keen and keep swiping till you find that perfect person.

Ground rules for a Tinder meet up

If you’re going to meet someone off Tinder, don’t be an idiot: the person may seem lovely over the app, but may turn out to be someone completely different. The internet is full of stories about Tinder gone wrong, although thankfully it’s more about cat-fishing than actual danger. However, keep the following rules in mind if you’re venturing out to meet that Tinder hottie:

1. Meet in public. It’s the number one rule because it’s the one that’s gonna keep you safe. Don’t trust anyone from the internet enough to meet them at their house on the first date. Dodgy as fuck.
2. Be on the same page about what you want. More often than not you’ll find people on Tinder are after sex, and nothing more. Save yourself the potential heartbreak/ humiliation by being honest from the get-go.
3. Use protection. If you’re gonna have sex with someone from Tinder, remember to keep yourself safe from STDs and unplanned pregnancy. If they say they’re clean, don’t trust them. If she says she’s on the pill, don’t trust her. Always use a condom.
4. Beware of false profiles. A lot of Tinder profiles are either bots or catfish, designed to trick you into believing you’ve met the love (or fuck) of your life. If possible, check out their Facebook first.

Tinder is a minefield. Use it wisely, don’t take it too seriously, and enjoy yourself. And remember to keep yourself safe. Now go forth, swipe right, and see where this glorious app takes you.

But Tinder can be daunting—sifting through a thousand photos, eliminating the definite no-nos, accidentally swiping right and immediately screaming NO NO NO, packing your bags and moving to Antarctica cause you’d really rather not.

Over the next two weeks I will be sharing some tips and hints for making Tinder or Grindr less cringe-worthy, and more bang-worthy. Stay tuned.

Reasons for using

A lot of people use Tinder for casual hook-ups. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s all people are using Tinder for. So, if you’re looking for a meaningful, long-term relationship, chances are you’re shit out of luck. But, there are other reasons people use Tinder. Recently there was an internet trend where people tried to get their Tinder matches to send them pizza, and it seemed to work. Free food > sex is apparently a huge thing on the dating app. And there are more reasons for using the app as well. One of my friends once said “I go on Tinder to see what my dating life could be like, I’m just too lazy to actually do anything about it”. Another one of my friends “has over 300 Tinder matches, but hasn’t been hit on in real life in months”. If you’re using Tinder, keep in mind that it’s not the be-all and end-all of the dating world. There is this glorious thing called “real life” where people actually want to date, and not just fuck, and sometimes you gotta put down your phone and meet those people.

Many of you, especially you freshers, will be at a point in your life where you’re considering the idea of a fuck buddy. For some of you, it may be a fabulous idea. For others, it will be a fucking terrible decision and you should get off that thought train right now, even if you’re already half-naked, titties flopping everywhere and riding him like a disco-stick. And because lots of you will be umming and ahhing about whether or not you should join Tinder in order to find a potential fuck buddy, I’m gonna share some tips and advice, some from myself, some from my friends, so you can way up your options and decide to bone, or not to bone.

Who to bone

The Friend

Becoming fuck buddies with someone you’re already friends with can be great. You already know the person, you know they’ve got a fit bod, and you’re comfortable around each other. Plus, you can be about 80 per cent certain as to what they’ll look like in the nude. However, if you’re thinking about boning your friend, you have to keep some things in mind:

• Are you prepared to have them see your naked body, in all its glory, and potentially tell your other friends about it?
• Are you prepared for everyone else you’re friends with to know you’re fucking this friend?
• Are you prepared for the possibility of the friendship ending if the fucking doesn’t go so well?

I (stupidly) chose to bang one of my friends. It ended horribly, and we no longer talk. And now, every time I see him, I am emotionally scarred by the fact that he has witnessed me in all my naked glory, and vice versa. Not cool. On top of that, there’s the awkward chance that one of you will develop feelings, which will just make the whole experience humiliating, and may leave you fuck-less and hurt. However, doing your friend makes it significantly easier to booty call, which is great, and they can boast to your other friends about how majestic you are in the sack, which is great if this one doesn’t work out.

The Random

Screwing a random can be pretty fun. It’s exciting, it’s sexy, and you get to make a great new fuck-friend in the process. Doing a random takes away the pressure, because you can leave it as a one-night stand, or you can make it a proper sex buddy agreement. Most of my friends found that if you’re in search of a stranger to screw, Tinder or Grindr is the way to go. Otherwise, prowling the clubs looking hot works too. Hint though: if you’re looking to do a stranger, you’ve got to be open-minded, and prepared to flaunt what yo mama gave you to seduce a potential hook-up. Screwing a random is the easiest way to keep your dignity intact; you can choose whether or not you want to keep fucking without risking awkward friendships and encounters in the future. Plus, you won’t have made a bond with them yet, so there’s less chance of feelings. There’s a whole website dedicated to people’s stories about fucking strangers, and it’s hilarious. Check it out on thecasualsexproject.com to read about people’s experiences and decide if this is the option for you.

The Ex

Ah, the ex. A lot of people continue to have casual sex with their exes after they’ve broken up. Apparently it’s “cause you know what the sex is gonna be like”, or “I’m too lazy to find someone else”. There’s something satisfying about knowing what to expect in the sack, and regardless of how the break up happened, you can be sure the sex is going to be somewhat satisfying. If you’re screwing your ex again, you’re in for a pretty predictable ride. Sure, they know how to get you off, and you’ve met their mum, but is it really worth it? Think about why you broke up in the first place, and why you want to go back there. And for the love of God, don’t go back there hoping to get back together. Bad move.

How to make the sex great

Be prepared for it to get weird

The biggest bonus of casual sex is that you get to explore your sexual fantasies. The point of having a fuck buddy arrangement is that you can experiment with each other! Having a fuck buddy means you get to be the filthy pervert you’ve always wanted to be; you’re not fucking to impress or fall in love, you’re fucking because you’re entire body should be absolutely horny and should be willing to transform into full smut mode whenever the occasion arises. But this means you have to be prepared for the sex to get kinky. Casual sex agreements normally come with some strings, just not emotional ones. These strings include threesomes, foursomes, orgies, sex toys, kinks—you name it, it will probably come up at some point. If you’re entering into a causal sex agreement, be prepared to leave your inhibitions behind. Just remember to communicate your boundaries; if you do, you’ll have sexperiences you’ll remember for the rest of your life.

Fuck Buddy 101: keep yourself safe

If you don’t have a basic level of protection in your fuck buddy relationship, you can expect it to go tits up very quickly (and not in the good way). This includes, but is not limited to: openly communicating if you’re seeing other people; using protection (ALWAYS USE A CONDOM KIDS); not knowingly giving the other person STDs; being aware at all times that you are okay with what is happening; and making sure you’re both happy and okay with your sexual encounters. It would be easy enough to treat the other person solely as a stick to ride, but never forget there’s a person attached to the orifice/appendage you’re using for pleasure, and you shouldn’t treat them like shit or put either of you in danger just because you’ve scored some no-strings-attached sex.

Don’t fall in love

Seems basic, but more often than not casual sex leads to feelings. I’ve been there, and it sucked. If you’re having casual sex, you shouldn’t be expecting Prince Charming to come rescue you on a white horse; you should expect someone hung like a horse who makes you come. It’s understandable that you can eventually start to feel comfortable and feelings may start to blossom. If that happens, abort the damn mission. Bitch-slap yourself, get someone else to bitch-slap you, have a cold shower, do some shots and remember there’s a reason you didn’t want to date this person to begin with.

The thing to remember if you’re gonna have casual sex is that it should be fun. Relax, wear some nice panties, be sexy, and most of all, make him/her scream. Remember that casual sex is not about falling in love, it’s about enjoying sex. So go forth, fuck a lot, forget those feelings, and have some fun!

xoxo Bridget Bones

There are many explanations as to why this doesn’t happen: the simplest being nature. Lads, when you cum, your brain releases chemicals that make you want to sleep. So, if you cum before your partner, you’re likely to drift off to sleep, leaving her sexually frustrated and your chances of getting laid again slim.

But there are other reasons. If you ask the average guy if their girl has an orgasm every time they fuck, they’ll say fuck yeah! Sadly, this is often not the case. There are statistics that show up to a massive 70 per cent of women have never had an orgasm with the person they’re currently rick-fracking with. And sadly, this is most prevalent amongst heterosexual couples.

I honestly don’t know if it’s because you simply didn’t care if she gets off or not, or you don’t know how to get her off, but, GENTLEMEN PLEASE: make your girl scream. Having sex with a woman and not allowing them to achieve an orgasm one way or another is simply selfish. So please by all means, stick that nugget of information away in your brain somewhere and let it fester. And for the love of God, use it next time you wanna bone, and make her cum. She’ll thank you for it, I promise.

Don’t stop! Talking

First things first. If you have had sex with your partner numerous times now and things haven’t been happening for her in the “O” department, you may have to face a brutal fact. You see, most women cannot achieve an orgasm through vaginal stimulation alone. That’s right lads: the classic “in-out” thing you do with your fingers that you seem to think feels great kinda sucks. Some women may need direct g-spot stimulation. Or others may require some tongue-magic or a vibration on the clitoris (yes, it does exist). I know to most men this may come off as a direct hit to your manliness or ego, but you seriously need to drop that shit. Hitting it harder or trying to drive it in there deeper is not going to work. Beating yourself up over the size and girth of your penis isn’t going to help either. You’re simply going to have to face it—your partner is going to need help. The first step in doing that is communication. Talk to her. Ask her what she likes. Ask her if she likes what you’re doing if she doesn’t know what she likes. Just ask.

Stay calm and don’t dick out!

If you can’t talk to your partner about what feels good, then forget it. You’re a lost cause. Seriously. It’s another harsh truth but one you’re going to have to face. If you seriously cannot discuss what happens in the bedroom after what just happened in the bedroom, then you my friend probably shouldn’t be fucking in the first place! Look at it this way—you just put your penis inside of her vagina. How hard can it be to actually talk to her about her orgasm, or lack thereof? So please, by all means, talk about your sexual relationships. Don’t stay quiet.

But, before you do, there are some rules.

Rule one: don’t be a dick about it. Nothing closes doors, or legs, faster. You need to just stay calm and allow her to feel safe to express her concerns. If you take personal offense to what she says, then you, my unlucky friend, just blew it, which means you won’t be blowing your load anytime soon.

Rule two: don’t be afraid to explore. If she comes back at you with certain desires and fetish that you may find weird or gross, don’t chastise her for it. Try to travel down that road of exploration together. Remember, your goal is to have a sexual experience where both parties involved have an orgasm. So if she wants you to spank her or tie her up, do it.

A tool bag is filled with dildos!

You still with me champ? Good. If you have talked to your partner, you should by now have a pretty good idea that there hasn’t been many fireworks for her in the bedroom. Hopefully you didn’t dick out and throw a fit. Hopefully you didn’t say something along the lines of “What?!?! My dick isn’t good enough for you!?!?!” Because by now I would hope you have realised that dick size doesn’t mean shit to most women.

So hopefully you talked about finding a solution. Maybe she has told you what she likes and doesn’t like. By the way, women who are reading this, listen up. If your partner is doing something you don’t like, please tell them (and for the record, this applies to ALL sexual partners). If you like something done a certain way, please tell them. Sex is a two way street after all.

Anyway, if you have come that far and have discussed what you two would like to do about it, then you are on the right track. Congrats. If she has shown signs of wanting a sex toy in the bedroom, don’t panic. Don’t lose your cool and get all jealous. Most men do and this is common. Most men see it as a replacement for their dicks. That is not the case. It’s merely a tool. Sex toys are tools of the sexiest god damn kind! Surely you wouldn’t change a tire with your dick? Or fix a leaky sink with it? Would you? Jesus, I hope not. You see my point. We all need help sometimes. We need the right tools, and for some women a dildo is the right tool for the job. Having a few in your bag is not a sign that your dick is broken. It’s a sign that you’re a guy who knows how to please his partner, and trust me, nothing is sexier. A guy who’s willing to roll up his sleeves and get down and dirty to get the job done? Dayum! Sex toys are amazing. Use one and you’ll see what I mean.

A new dawn…

To make a very long story short, my point is this guys; It is not manly or cool or whatever to just hop in and get out. Do me a favour and switch that around in your head. How would you like it if your partner left you high and dry while she went and found a towel?

Exactly, now man the fuck up and do what needs to be done fuckwise. By the way, sex toys aren’t the only solution. Like I said, communication is the only way to find what is going to work best for you.

Next time you’re gonna get freaky, think about how great it will feel after you both cum. Whether you’re in a relationship, fuck buddies or simply having a one night stand, the best sex happens when everyone is happy afterwards.

Now go my children and have some orgasm filled sex. And remember, stay safe.