Opinion

April 27, 2015

Call it old-fashioned courtesy. Call it being a gentleman. Call it whatever you like. If you’re allowing your lady to cum first, you, my friend, are a prime example of the refined, exquisite gentleman of sex etiquette. Alas, many men out there refuse their lady this fine privilege. Hell, some don’t even know if their [...]

April 20, 2015

Welcome back to uni! I hope you’ve had a great break. So in case you haven’t hear about this, Wellington City Council has plans in place to extend the airport’s runway by a massive 300 metres at the bargain price of only $1 million per metre. Here are some other things you could get for [...]

April 19, 2015

Cost: $10 (750ml) Alcohol volume: 12 per cent (7.1 standards) Pairing: Apple martinis, a BBQ Bacon Rodeo Burger, debilitating heartburn. At long last, tonight was the night. Loyal readers will long remember the ever-present tensions that exist between the reviewers about one of New Zealand’s finest exports, Lindauer. Less of a review and more of [...]

April 19, 2015

We’re going to be honest with you here, readers. When we conceived of this whole thing we had some near-great ideas. “It’s inherently funny to treat such a vulgar cultural product with sincerity,” Joe said, as Obikwa crept out the corner of his mouth. “I just want it to be cine-literate,” George replied, prostrate on [...]

April 19, 2015

Introducing the first VUW provided compost bin! Yup, as of the first week back after the mid tri break, students and staff will no longer be made to squirm as they put their food scraps, compostable plates, and PLA fork (made from plants) into the general waste bins. The new bin will be parked cosily [...]

April 19, 2015

I’ve told lots of my friends about this recipe, and they’ve all had the same initial reaction—to look at me like I’m nuts and then say, “really? Cauliflower?” Yes, cauliflower. Instead of a traditional flour base, cauliflower is a low-carb, gluten-free, high fibre alternative that basically means you can eat more pizza, and who doesn’t [...]

April 19, 2015

Sitting through a relentlessly cordial Executive meeting last Tuesday, I couldn’t help casting my mind back to the halcyon days before VSM. Voluntary Student Membership (VSM) happened a few years ago. Older students will wearily roll their eyes at hearing that fucking acronym (sorry, initialism) for the billionth fucking time; younger students will appreciate my [...]

April 19, 2015

By now you have probably realised that when writing the Moan Zone, we aim for it to be most appealing to First Years. (Or “Freshers”—that’s what they’re called this year aren’t they?) This is because First Years are yet to become so mature and self-righteous that they couldn’t dare be seen picking up a copy [...]

April 19, 2015

Katahi te ingoa hangai ki te kaupapa o tōna hui ko tera.  Kua rangona whanuitia ngā kupu nei i roto i ngā mihi ki ngā mate.  Heoi, he kōrero ano mo ngā wananga, ngā tikanga, ngā mahi a kui mā a koro mā i ngā rā o uki. Ko te ingoa tenei o te wananga [...]