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Shit Chat

June 5, 2018

I vividly remember the first time I was really conscious of my body. I was Year Seven so what, 11 years old or thereabouts? I went to an Independent School for Girls. We did everything in pairs at this school. Very Madeline, in our elastic ties and gym frocks, walking two-by-two down Regent Street in […]

May 21, 2018

We’re picking at low-hanging fruit today. Let’s talk about sucking dick. (Dad, let me say it one more time: this is not the column for you.) Sucking dick is great, and boy howdy do I take pride in my work. Hell, I have wet dreams about giving head. As someone pointed out the other day, […]

May 7, 2018

Once upon a time I trained in ballet and jazz, I watch too much RuPaul’s Drag Race, and I tend to have a robust opinion on everything. It makes sense then, that I am an intolerable person with which to watch Dancing with the Stars. Who on God’s green earth are 70% of these  kiwi […]

April 16, 2018

Rosemary McLeod, a delightful columnist for Stuff, recently wrote: “The talking-point tattoo is a tricky thing. A waitress will have a whole arm sleeve done, but you feel it would be rude to ask what it means. You shouldn’t stare at it, but why else is it exposed?” I’ve got a couple tattoos. 35, I’m […]

March 12, 2018

It’s really easy for me to slip into a cycle of flippancy when it comes to talking about mental health; it’s really easy for me to deflect talking about the hard stuff with humour. There’s nothing wrong with that, I don’t think. There is value in escapism.  I do think, however, that it’s important not […]

February 26, 2018

Strap the fuck in and hold onto your wigs because Shit Chat is back for another substance-fuelled shit-show of a year. For those of you who weren’t privy to the mess I was somehow allowed to publish in 2017, the writing of this column is more often than not facilitated by a bottle of Fat […]

August 14, 2017

I was iffy about sexting, and about sending, er, provocative Snapchats for a long time, because there’s this stigma around it, right? Only sluts/hos/thots send filthy exchanges and nudie snaps over the internet! And to people they hardly know nonetheless!! Well, smack my ass and call me a thot. Wouldn’t be the first time this […]

July 31, 2017

Me here, Whitey McWhiterson, to give my two cents on intersectionality. Naturally. I’m going to speak about white women here in a similar fashion to how I speak about men: they fucking suck. We fucking suck. Think about it as layers of oppression: just as Men are an oppressive collective that as a group perpetuate […]

July 17, 2017

Welcome back to hell kids. In things that have remained consistent over the break: my cynical disposition; my touchy-at-best mental health; my inability to hand assignments in on time. Also the New Zealand Government pissing money at stupid shit while there are people in this country sleeping in cars and committing suicide. 20 things that […]