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March 19, 2018

Tattoo the entire National Party constitution onto my back Shit in my hands, then clap Scroll back through my ex-boyfriend’s Instagram feed and like a post from Corfu ‘06 Funnel two boxes of discounted goon into my ass Remove each and every one of my own toenails with rusty pliers Willingly upload my own nudes […]

March 19, 2018

On Tuesday 13 March 2018, the White House announced the dismissal of Rex Tillerson from his role as Secretary of State. After clashing over issues of foreign policy in Russia, North Korea and Iran, Trump announced via Twitter the departure of the nation’s leading diplomat. Tillerson spoke to the press on Tuesday morning, stating “What […]

March 19, 2018

On Thursday 5 March 2018, students in Wellington marched from the Law School to outside the Russell McVeagh Wellington office to protest sexual harassment and violence in the workplace. Around 250 people, dressed in black in solidarity with Thursdays in Black, attended. The march was organized by the Victoria University of Wellington Students’ Association, the […]

March 19, 2018

Great grieving has commenced across Wellington as a Fruit Burst shortage has hit the capital. The dearth is widely attributed to “Clubs Week” at Victoria University of Wellington. Pascall, owned by Mondelez International, distributes 500 kilograms of Fruit Bursts across the country each week, and is largely responsible for the number of students joining student […]

March 19, 2018

There has been a 98% drop in the number of first year students majoring in Psychology after attending the first two lectures of Stats193. A requirement for majoring in Psychology is the ability to analyse data and trends, but according to first-year resident at Te Puni, and former Psychology major Harry Benson, that’s “just a […]

March 19, 2018

A new law programme is set to be on offer at the University of Victoria in Canada, UVic. It will be the first of its kind, offering students the chance to intensively study both Indigenous and non-Indigenous law.  The programme builds on what UVic has been doing for a number of years to further the […]

March 19, 2018

Victoria University is offering a new Massive Open Online Course (MOOC) on the topic of restorative justice. The free online course ($49 USD if one wants a certificate), entitled Restorative Justice and Practice: Emergence of a Social Movement, is the third such course offered by Victoria in partnership with online education provider edX, under the […]

March 19, 2018

I know that hardly anyone gives a fuck about university politics, but it’s important. Vote. It’s the by-elections for your Education Vice-President Wednesday 21 March 12pm. . Here’s some quick profiles of your candidates Shiraz Baksh 1st year Commerce. Age 19. From Wellington, born in India Character “Is it gonna be a full on election?” […]

March 19, 2018

Sunday mornings have become suspiciously quiet in halls across Wellington this week, as the uncomfortable run-ins with people you furiously fucked last night have become more regular. Without the comfort of cheap alcohol coursing through their veins, hall residents have discovered that the floormate who licked their asshole last night is actually not that interesting […]