Good Times

Woo! The start of a new academic year! You’ve moved out of home and you’re a big kid now. You’ve got new books and stationery, and new calf muscles from walking up the Terrace. You’ve got a system all worked out for taking and filing lecture notes – a new one, that’s going to work this year. You’re going to start assignments when you get them, so you’ll never have to stress on a Friday afternoon and you’ll always be able to get the books you need from the library. You’re going to return library books on time. You’re going to study hard, but have a great social life, too. You’re going to have study groups! You’re going to learn all sorts of cool shit and get really smart. You’re going to meet heaps of people and make life-long friends. You’ll regularly sit up all night with them talking wank, because you can! It’s cool! And no parents! Your lecturers will swear sometimes, because you’re an adult. You’re going to meet a great guy or girl, but still keep in touch with all of your friends. You’re going to meet several guys or girls, you know, casually, or whatever. You’re going to be the calm centre of your friends’ universes, dispensing advice and offering shoulders to cry on when it all goes wrong. You’re going to take up a sport and join a club. You’re going to go to all your tutorials at first, in case you need some sick days at the end of the semester. You’re going to see everything at Orientation. You’re going to hang out at Eastside every Thursday night. You’re going to read Salient every week. Cover to cover. You’re going to write hilarious letters to Salient and become a campus celebrity, incognito. You’re going to flat with your best friend. It’ll be so much fun! You’ll have to have a chores roster, but it’ll work really well. And a flat eftpos card, that’s a good idea, too. You’re going to discover your own sense of style, and finally dress to reflect the real you. No more school uniforms! You’ll have cereal for dinner and Tequila for lunch, at least once, because you can. You’re going to schedule classes around your sleeping routine. You’re going to discover the real meaning of the word ‘pressure’. You’re going to discover the real meaning of the word ‘hangover’. You’re going to take road-trips. You’re going to watch TV3 News, because only parents watch One. You’ll only watch Holmes in an ironic way. And Shortland Street for the kitsch. You’re going to eat a lot of mince. And two-minute noodles. You’re going to discover that there’s more to Wellington than Courtenay Place. You’re going to discover that SCS computers are rarer than lifeboats on the Titanic. You’ll pull all-nighters. Maybe even the odd all-weekender. You’re going to forget huge chunks of your nights out, but that’s okay because your friends will tell you all about it at your 21st. You’ll have political opinions. You’ll have academic opinions. You’ll have opinions about the university, mature students and first-years. You’re going to daydream sitting on the harbour side of the library. You’ll get a crush on at least one of your tutors or lecturers. It’s going to be unrequited. You’re going to spend more on texting than you ever thought possible. You’re going to be perennially broke. You’re going to get a crappy job in retail. You’re going to get into debt. You’re going to have one of the best years of your life.