Joely’s song

Posted by Tim A Rufus & filed under Columns.

Joely’s song

Sung to the tune of Bowling for Soup’s 1985

Woohoohoo
Woohoohoo

Joely just hit the wall.
He never had it all.
Protesting ANZAC day,
Isn’t really that OK.
His dreams start to fade.
He was born in the wrong decade.
Now he feels like a fool.
Communism used to be cool.

He was gonna have a shave,
He was gonna get a job,
He was gonna change his t-shirt,
The one about his knob.
But he became a Commie,

‘Cause he’s no good with money.
Has nothing to protest against,
Except those imperialist veterans.

The Springboks, Riot Policemen,
Way before Tianamen,
There was Muldoon, such a dag,
And reasons still to burn our flag,
His comrades, Reith and Pratley,
Dismiss the past quite flatly,
But he would have so much fun,
In 19, 19, 1981.

Woohoohoo,
(1981)
Woohoohoo.

He knows all the protests.
He wishes a fucking ton,
That he could screw Kate Sheppard,
Or strike in ’51.
He was opposed to Vietnam,
But he was born a bit late, damn.
It’s too late to defect,
And become a Soviet.

What do you have against laying a wreath?
Why does ANZAC offend your beliefs?
Were you kicked out of the RSA?
Or did a veteran tell your beard looked gay?

The Springboks, Riot Policemen,
Way before Tianamen,
There was Muldoon, such a dag,
And reasons still to burn our flag,
His comrades, Reith and Pratley,
Dismiss the past quite flatly,
But he’d be cooler than Atilla the Hun,
In 19, 19, 1981.

Woohoohoo,

He hates time, make it stop.
Where’s that Delorean made by Doc?
And when did stealing become a crime?
Please make this stop.
Stop!
And bring back…

The Springboks, Riot Policemen,
Way before Tianamen,
There was Muldoon, such a dag,
And reasons still to burn our flag,
His comrades, Reith and Pratley,
Dismiss the past quite flatly,
But he’d kill his first born son,

To live in ’81.

11 Responses to “Joely’s song”

  2. .....

    So let me get this straight. You all whinge about how ‘attention-seeking’ Joel Cosgrove is, and how much you want him to go away, yet you immortalise him through the majesty of song. This website is just a giant circle-jerk of everyone whinging about Cosgrove incessantly, then complaining every time his name is brought up. This is not RATIONAL BEHAVIOUR!

  3. Tim A. Rufus

    Thank you, ….. I also thought that my song was majestic.

  4. Shitkicker

    Joel Cosgrove is the new William Stewart

  5. Your Name

    This song is so win I can barely type.

  6. Disappointed

    What an absolute loser. People wonder why our society is filled with people who are scared to question. its cause people like this wanker devote their time to teasing people who speak up. what. a. loser. get a life

  7. Tim A. Rufus

    You should listen to your friend, Billy Zane; he’s a cool dude.

  8. Your Name

    He’s still a cunt, even if he is ‘questioning’.

  10. One Tree Hill

    Cutting edge political satire. Am I right? Am I right? …Just a little bit ay?