1. Dykes on Bikes
2. The Kathman-dykes
3. (Whose gang?) Our gang!
4. Rug Punchers
5. The Mongrel Muff
Queer Icons:
1. Clea DuVall
2. Sharon from Our Bar
3. Peewee Herman
4. The Topp Twins
5. Rachael Wright
Places to have gay sex:
1. A Destiny Church service
2. The Wimmin’s Room
3. Pat Walsh’s Office
4. VUWSA President’s Office
5. Brian Tamaki’s bed
Centrefold pin-ups we’d like to see:
1. Sharon from Our Bar
2. Elton John
3. Nicola Kean
4. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (making out with Xena)
5. Hercules/ Kevin Sorbo
Queer accessories:
1. Double-ended dildo
2. Swandri jacket
3. Leather chaps
4. Sequins
5. Maddy Drew
Animal-related sexual phrases:
1. Mutton Flaps
2. Camel Toe
3. Bearded Clam
4. Pork Sword
5. Jackrabbit
Deviant Sexual Practices:
1. Lipophilia: sexual attraction to obese individuals
2. Mechaphilia: sexual attraction to machines, especially robots or androids
3. Plushophilia: sexual attraction to stuffed toys or people in animal costume, such as theme park characters
4. Stygiophilia: sexual pleasure from the thought of going to hell
5. Symphorophilia: sexual attraction with stage-managing a disaster, such as a traffic accident
Nah…
These are better:
Queer Icons:
1. DIVINE
2. HOMER SIMPSON
3. WINSTON PETERS
4. “HIM” (Powerpuff Girls Transexual Demon)
5. BRUCE LA BRUCE
Places to have gay sex:
1. Parekura Horror-meaah’s boobies (titty fuck)
2. Gloryhole sodomy (all you bareback proud queers no where they are!)
3. The PM’s beehive office (yes, T.A you know about that!!!)
4. VUWSA President’s Mouth
5. Brian Tamaki’s Arsehole
Centrefold pin-ups we’d like to see:
1. DIVINE
2. WINSTON PETERS
3. PARAKOORA HORRORMEEAH
4. GERALD MOONEN with BOY (EX AMBLA MEMBER)
5. EMMA GOLDMAN (actual sexual revolutionary)
Queer accessories:
1. Double-ended dildo (but permanently stuck inside your arses)
2. Gun
3. Liquid Eyeliner
4. Hairspray
5. An endless supply of S C Schoolboys (QM for the lezzie gals)
Best Q Male Porno’s
1. Dude, Where’s My Blowjob?
2. Inside Geoffy’s Ass
3. Womb Raider
4. Dad & Son Series
5. (Little) Bobby Does Dallas
Deviant Sexual Practices:
1. Paraphilia: sexual attraction to parakura horror-meeah
2. Mechaphilia: sexual attraction to machines (e.g. Helen Clark)
3. Boyogirlophilia: sexual attraction to stuffed boys and girls
4. Stygiophilia: sexual pleasure from the thought of joining the NZ Labour Party
5. Gerontophilia: natural sexual attraction to the elderly
GANG NAMES
1. Dykes in Kikes
2. The Cunting Huns
3. Helen’s Hoes
4. The Hairy Ball Daggers
5. The Mongol Micks
Queer Icons:
1. Gandalf
2. Christine Rankin
3. Michael Jackson
4. Adolf Hitler
5. Thomas the Tank Engine
Places to have Sex:
1. The Red Carpet at one of Peter Jackson’s Premieres
2. Elijah Wood’s arsehole (lubricated)
3. Clayton Cosgrove’s Electoral Office
4. Clint Rickard’s bald head (baton optional)
5. The back row at any Pee Wee Herman movie
Naked centrefolds:
1. Fat Bastard (Austin Powers)
2. Rodney Hide
3. Georgina Bayer (fully aroused)
4. (Long) Dick Cheney
5. Marilyn Monroe (rotten worm food but still lovely)
Queer Accessories:
1. Plaster of Paris (with bits of Paris Hilton still attached)
2. Mayonaise
3. Maddy Drew (Heil Maddy! – the strap-on version)
4. The ‘mystery meat’ your flatmate left in the fridge six weeks ago.
5. Frank Oz’s hand (after so many years up the anal cavities of the muppets)
Animal-Related Sexual Practices:
1. Drafting a Private Member’s Bill.
2. Studying animal husbandry at Massey.
3. Anything that occurs between two consenting adults at a Labour Party Conference after-function.
4. Putting the ball in the scrum.
5. Cumming in the ref’s mouth.
Queer Icons:
1. Gandalf
2. Michael Jackson
3. Adolf Hitler (I’m Kampf)
4. Fat Bastard (Austin Powers)
5. Thomas the Tank Engine
Places to have Sex:
1. Elijah Wood’s face
2. The basketball court at S C
3. Swimming with dolphins
4. Under the desk in Clayton Cosgrove’s electoral office
5. The back row at any Pee Wee Herman movie
Centrefold pin-ups we’d like to see:
1. Osama bin Laden (oh that beard!)
2. Rodney Hide
3. Jar Jar Binks
4. (Long) Dick Cheney
5. Marilyn Monroe (she is worm-food now but still sexy)
Queer Accessories:
1. Play-Doh
2. The ‘mystery meat’ your flat mate put into the fridge two months ago.
3. Freddy Krueger’s glove
4. Maddy Drew (the strap-on version)
5. ‘Tickle Me’ Emo