Things to blame Iceland for:

1 Bjork
2 Wailing
3 Leif Erickson discovering America
4 Glaciers
5 A backdrop for all too many power and black metal albums

Fun things to do in boring lectures:

1 Fart
2 Write better Top 5s than these
3 Read Salient
4 Go home
5 Sleep

People who age like wine:

1 Christopher Lambert
2 Catherine Zeta-Jones
3 Sean Connery
4 Axl Rose
5 Helen Clark

Places that are dark and brutal:

1 The Mariana Trench
2 Siberia
3 Nepal
4 Crystal Lake
5 The Salient offi ce before people have had their morning coffee

Dumb ideas while at a cabin in the woods:

1 Saying you will be right back when a serial killer’s on the loose
2 Drinking and smoking pot at said cabin (especially drinking pot)
3 Having premarital sex at said cabin while a serial
killer’s on the loose
4 Standing near windows or under trees while a serial killer who likes hockey masks is on the loose
5 Holidaying at said cabin if it’s at Crystal Lake

Places to go when you die:

1 Hell, you know it would kick ass
2 A crematorium so you can be rendered into plant food
3 Dismembered to decompose in engine coolant
4 Fed to wild dogs
5 In the ground so you can rot an’ shit

Things celebrants shouldn’t get:

1 A religion
2 Tattoos with the name of their signifi cant others, it never lasts
3 Jumped up about Third World debt
4 Adopt Third World babies
5 Out of their prison terms

Things VUW could do to make Kelburn campus a better place:

1 A brothel with student rates
2 Some kind of violent dangerous animals instead of tuataras
3 Karaoke in tutorials
4 A Bukkake room
5 A fast food joint instead of the Quad Kiosk

Countries who need more nukes:

1 Jebus Land
2 East Germany
3 American Iraq
4 North Korea
5 New Zealand

Home Decor Themes:

1 Nuvo-Mortuare
2 Home Sweet homicide
3 Impaled Heathen
4 Archaic Abattoir
5 Black except for a red wall that has to be repainted in human blood to keep it red to avoid it clotting