Salient

See how they’re so much better than what we write?

Annoying questions to ask your religious elder:
1. If there’s life on other planets, are there aliens in heaven too?
2. Can the spirits of your dead relatives watch you when you go to the loo?
3. Is it okay to laugh at people in hell when you’re up in heaven?
4. Wouldn’t eternal bliss get boring after a while?
5. If I said a really, really good joke, would it make God laugh?

Annoying questions to ask your teacher:
1. How do we know the sky isn’t really green and we’re just all colourblind?
2. Could you repeat the question? I wasn’t listening
3. Do amoebas feel love?
4. Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?
5. How’s the diet going?

Reasons to watch TV:
1. The hot TV3 weather girl
2. Hoping they’ll play Goodnight Kiwi
3. Peter Griffin
4. Infotainment!
5. Chuck Norris infomercials

Lies parents tell their kids:
1. I’m only doing this for your own good
2. If you tell me, I promise I won’t get mad
3. Someday you’ll thank me for this
4. You’ll be sorry
5. I’m only gonna say this once

Useful phobias to fake:
1. Hypnotophobia – Fear of making your bed
2. Tribodontophobia – Fear of brushing your teeth
3. Macrophobia – Fear of long waits
4. Hypengyophobia – Fear of responsibility
5. and *drumroll* … Sophophobia – The fear of learning
Here we go, a top 5 to help you out seen as your too fucked off…meths was it?

Top reasons why vic is shit:
1. That fucken hill
2. That other fucken hill
3. All the other little hills
4. We pay for internet
5. Too many fucken indie kids who dress the same!

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