Salient sits down for a natter with your MP for Wellington Central, Grant ‘G-Ruzz’ Robertson.
Salient: What is your favourite novel?
Grant: Owls Do Cry, by Janet Frame. It is a deep insight into human frailty. Good book.
Salient: Did you have a job while studying at university?
Grant: I did. I was a fruit and vege guy at a supermarket. It was a job that I did Thursday and Friday nights, but also Saturdays and Sundays and so I was invariably reasonably hungover. But if you want your cauliflower trimmed, I’m your man!
Salient: Perhaps a career for you after Parliament?
Grant: You’ve always got to have options.
Salient: What was your favourite beverage at university?
Grant: (laughs evasively) …Coffee. Salient: Were RTDs a thing in your day?
Grant: No. They are not really to my taste. We made our own RTDs back in the day. Yeah…
Salient: How do you take your coffee?
Salient: Long or short?
Grant: Long. And no sugar.
Salient: Do human beings possess free will?
Salient: Controversial! Music time. Justin Bieber’s ‘Boyfriend’ or Carly Rae Jepsen’s ‘Call Me Maybe’?
Grant: Oh god… I prefer neither.
Salient: What music are you jamming to currently then, Grant?
Grant: I’ve just purchased an album by a band called The Shifting Sands who are from Dunedin. It’s a really interesting sound, kinda harking back to my Dunedin days.
Salient: Ah yes, Dunedin sounds. Will you be buying shares in the soon to be partially-privatised state-owned assets?
Grant: No. I cannot guarantee that the Kiwisaver funds I’m a member of won’t choose to do that. I personally rule it out though.
Salient: Not a fan of Solid Energy, then?
Grant: I don’t think Solid Energy is a long term industry.
Salient: Is it time to reform NZ’s drug law?
Grant: Yes. And there’s an excellent report by the Law Commission that the Government
has picked up some small parts of recently—the party pills stuff—but there’s definitely some room for improvement.
Salient: What do you think is the better route as regards cannabis: decriminalisation or legalisation?
Grant: I favour a form of partial decriminalisation, which essentially means that possession of small amounts is not in any way an offence, but supply still is.
Salient: What colour are you thinking of for your next suit: Beige or teal?
Grant: Ohhhh! What does the combination of beige and teal look like?
Grant: If I had to choose between the two, I’d be in beige. Because of, you know, cricket. I don’t look that good in beige though.
Salient: Can you confirm the rumours: is there a Parliamentary fight club?
Grant: (laughs) Just Trevor Mallard and Tau Henare.
Salient: Do you still keep in touch with Aunty Helen?
Grant: I occasionally do. On a range of topics.
Salient: When will Grant Robertson be Prime Minister of New Zealand?
Grant: Oh, I can’t answer that… No time soon.
Salient: Damn it.