The interesting question for me is whether or not he’ll make use of VUWSA’s advocacy services, despite still owing the association quite a sum of money.

I imagine if aforementioned services are requested, VUWSA will do its utmost to follow the book by the letter and not let any mitigating factors inflect upon the standard of advocacy offered.

But seriously, how fucking awkward. This is daytime soap opera scriptwriting shit right here, or at least something out of the world of professional wrestling.

“Audience invited to hear how delinquent became Prince of Bel Air”

Now THAT’S news I can believe in.

Back to kindy for you.

“Give me news on what’s happening around my campus…”
http://www.salient.org.nz/news/vbc-deed-signed-sealed-delivered-its-yours/
http://www.salient.org.nz/news/shit-food-discussed-within-earshot-of-shit-food/

“…and my city.”
http://www.salient.org.nz/news/pro-chancellor-kia-oras-mayor’s-20000-trip
http://www.salient.org.nz/news/wellington-super-city-like-could-be-totally-super-close/

Give me news on what the Minister in charge of Tertiary Education is doing.
http://www.salient.org.nz/news/holy-shit-an-interview-with-anne-tolley/
http://www.salient.org.nz/news/the-great-tolley-hunt-a-birds-eye-view/

“Give me news that’s relevant.”
http://www.salient.org.nz/news/vice-chancellor’s-booze-memorandum-“dodges-main-issue”
http://www.salient.org.nz/news/interest-free-loans-aint-goin-nowhere-no-how/

Give me news that’s important.
http://www.salient.org.nz/news/ka-kite-highly-confidential-food-bank-info-ka-kite/
http://www.salient.org.nz/news/students-boycott-lecture-to-protest-cuts/

“Give me what I’ve fucking paid for, and cut the rest of this blithering nonsense out. You owe us that.”
As per every other time someone has complained about what I am doing as editor, I extend an invitation for you to come talk to me. The door to the office is always open for those who want to engage in honest and rational debate with me. I hope the above examples prove that we’re doing more than just fanning Joels fire. But maybe you should try reading the magazine before getting indignant and claiming that Salient‘s hard working staff aren’t doing their jobs.

The 8000 word pieces of self-indulgence masquerading as informed insight; the witless pranks; the extraordinary need to pick at the pages of a student magazine to amplify a message nobody’s fucking listening to; the childish grudges; the embarrassing squabbles—do you think Salient’s audience is listening? Do you honestly think 21,000 students give a fuck about anything you Worker’s Party/VUWSA clowns are doing? They’ve got exams! They’ve got jobs! They’ve got boyfriends, girlfriends, friends, families—troubles, happinesses, lows, highs. They’ve got shit to do.

VUWSA, you have 21,000 employers out there who deserve, by hook or by crook, the very best you can give them. Your constituents do not want to hear “My bag got stolen, not my problem” — they want to hear “We’ve strengthened our security processes by doing this, this, and this. It will never happen again.” They don’t want to hear, “The misogynistic Worker’s Party wouldn’t hold my baby.” They want to hear, “I’m working my ass off for each and everyone of you by doing this, this and this.” And they sure as hell don’t want to hear, “Ahhh, the political perversions of imperialism is ruining our country’s fragile discourse blah blah blah.” They want to hear, “Some guys set a flag on fire. The fire lasted about 20 seconds and left a soppy meth-soaked mess on the floor of Mount Street. That’s it.”

Does Salient have a duty to report this sort of nonsense? Does Salient have a duty to be the arena where extremely marginal political entities duke it out? Or does Salient have a duty to its 21,000 employers to cater to what’s in their best interests? From the guy named Nick in a t-shirt and jandals just doin’ a BA, to the 45-yo accounts manager who’s come back to do some post grad? Absolutely. Unless it is directly relevant to the people who’re filling your pay cheques every week, I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to see a single word about Jasmine Freemantle vs The Worker’s Party. I don’t give a fuck about Joel Cosgrove—gimme a News in Brief when that guy pays his $1200 back, but that’s it, and I sure as hell can’t be arsed hearing about the Wellington chapter of a political party that will never amount to anything.

Give me news in why my tutes are cut. Give me news on what’s happening around my campus, and my city. Give me news on what the Minister in charge of Tertiary Education is doing. Give me news that’s relevant. Give me news that’s important. Give me what I’ve fucking paid for, and cut the rest of this blithering nonsense out. You owe us that.