Turns out Max hardy DID send his column. It appears there was a glitch in the interwebs. Seriously. This Salient Editor did a thorough Gmail search, and the sent column was not found. In any case, Tardy sent it well after the Tuesday 5pm deadline. So we’re just being nice by publishing it. Too nice, some may say.

We’re keeping this quote from Margaret Thatcher: “If you want to cut your own throat, don’t come to me for a bandage.”

What a lady.

Oh, and here’s Max’s column…

President’s Column

Graduation
Last week I had the privilege of witnessing about 2100 degrees being conferred on the new Victoria graduates. I found my expectations of boredom completely misplaced and instead I thoroughly enjoyed the celebrations. Our eventual graduation is of course one of the main reasons why we are at University in the first place. It marks the culmination of a lot of hard work and dedication and it was fantastic to be able to celebrate that.
The best message to come out of graduation for me, other than the congratulations for those who have worked hard and succeeded, was about the responsibility that comes with the knowledge, skills and success that has been obtained by the graduates. It was a message put forward by many of the graduate speakers. I think we can all define for ourselves what we think that responsibility is, but as students and/or graduates I think it is clear we have a responsibility to our wider community. It is worth thinking about.

Budget 2010
The Government’s latest budget is not a fantastic one for tertiary education or most students. It seems that as announced in 2009 the Government is cutting the tripartite funding, which will see more than $2.2 million slashed from the Government’s grant to Victoria. This is obviously a lot of money. Coupled with rising costs, it will have a significant affect on our education here. Quality education costs money. We are already seeing increased pressure on academic staff and tutorial sizes, and this can only worsen this trend. It of course also means that your fees will need to go up.
However, it is not at all an easy budget to understand, and the University is still trying to come to grips with what it means for Victoria. It is also not immediately obvious what it means for us students either.
In general, the trend seems to be towards limiting access to tertiary education for some students and increasing the cost of studying for all of us.
While some of the measures will make a lot of sense to many people, they raise difficult questions about the function of tertiary education in society. I was reminded of this when I read about the story of the unemployed man who spent 12 years to become medically qualified at Otago. This man is now in a profession that is in critical demand in New Zealand, and is making a significant contribution to New Zealand. However under the new rules, he is unlikely to have been able to graduate. For those of us who believe education is a social good, that everyone should have access to it, and that people do need second chances, some of these measures are hard to swallow.
Increasing the cost of education, as well as increasing the cost of living, without increasing the support available to students is also hard to swallow.

Max Hardy
president@vuwsa.org.nz

xoxo Salient

Not only does this tell of the way in which technology has assimilated itself irretrievably into our daily lives, it is also testament to the convergence of that technology. Media is no longer restricted to its original platform. Instead, we watch television on our laptops; use our cellphones to connect to social networking sites, and make international calls over the internet. Every major newspaper—and many of the minor ones—uploads its content to a location online, from where it flows through to websites such as Twitter and Tumblr. Convergence has combined our once-separate roles of readers, spectators and internet users: consumers are now able to both produce, and participate in the media.

Well, that’s the simplified definition of the concept.

“There are two images of convergence,” says Dr Angi Buettner, lecturer of Media Studies at Victoria University and co-editor of the New Zealand Journal of Media Studies. “One is that a lot of things overlap, but they’re all there. The other is that a lot of things converge together to be filtered, and what you have coming out is one thin line of a lot of things.”

Dr Buettner thinks that the former premise is “our wishful thinking about convergence”, and that the second is the more realistic model. I ask Dr Buettner whether she anticipates that this “thin line” will decrease the number of sources of information or viewpoints on a particular issue that are available to the consumer.

“Potentially, it might increase the number of voices,” she says, “but which item is going to be picked up and pushed through the different platforms of publishing? Pragmatically, it will be the best, nicest-looking little story. Someone has to re-circulate it and what’s going to be picked up is something that’s already successful with audiences.”

However, Fairfax Digital’s Social Media Editor and Stuff.co.nz blogger Greer McDonald believes that above all, convergence increases access to different opinions and information.

“Fairfax has more than 780 journalists spread out across the country, and convergence means that readers don’t have to be living in Southland or Taranaki to access that region’s news,” she says. “Readers are getting their news in new ways—and from a larger number of sources—rather than becoming limited.”

Social Media is Big Business

That Fairfax Digital—part of Fairfax Media Group, which owns a significant proportion of New Zealand’s newspapers, magazines, and community newspapers—deemed it beneficial to appoint a Social Media Editor is testament to the importance and influence of Facebook, Twitter, and other social networking sites.

“All those platforms are just opportunities to have an outpost, really,” says Tarver Graham, of Auckland-based web design company Gladeye, which produces interactive work and digital strategy “for companies that want to make their brand come across super-cool online”.

With an official website, staff blogs, and Twitter, Facebook, and Vimeo accounts, Gladeye has considerable online presence.

“We try to keep our main website reasonably profesh, but with Twitter and Facebook, we can show a bit more of who we are, and be a bit more relaxed,” says Graham, who maintains that social media allows companies to take care of their supporters.

“If your brand or company shows some love for their supporters, that loyalty is often returned, and loyalty and genuine passion for a brand is not something that you can fake or buy,” he says. “With social media, it’s really important to be genuine, because people will see through it otherwise.”

Luke Appleby, a multimedia journalist who writes Stuff.co.nz’s ‘Connector’ blog, lists the benefits of Facebook and Twitter as “building and maintaining contacts, generating instant feedback, and crowd-sourcing.

“Twitter has also proven its worth in our newsroom for monitoring breaking news, especially internationally, through a number of feeds.”

McDonald testified to this on Radio New Zealand’s Media Watch programme, broadcast on 25 April 2010. Earlier this year, the New Zealand Press Association reported that the fires at Titahi Bay were under control, but McDonald’s Twitter told a different story.

“Basically, through Twitter, I was able to provide a blow-by-blow account of what was happening, which was contrary to what the Fire Service was informing other news agencies,” she told the show’s host, Colin Peacock.

An energetic Tweeter herself, McDonald is drawn to the service’s immediacy. She describes it as “the virtual pulse of communities around New Zealand, and the world”.

“People discuss personal issues and business ideas, all in the one space,” she says. “Where once you would head to the local pub to find out what everyone was talking about, you can now jump online and connect with that same information—and on an even greater scale.”

A More Interactive Experience

Of course, this exchange of information is just that—an exchange, as both Appleby and McDonald have experienced first-hand. Readers can comment on Stuff.co.nz blogs, which, in Appleby’s words, “can allow the reader to become a part of the post themselves”.

“Having comments on everything you write can make you more cautious, and more accountable,” says Appleby. “If you get something wrong, you’ll be told about it, and I have done a few times.”

McDonald’s blog, ‘Lady in the Red’, documents her bid to take control of her personal finances. One post, in which she admitted buying a pair of boots instead of replacing her car’s worn tyres, attracted 147 comments, in any of which, readers admonished her for her “frivolous, un-thought-out purchase” (K, #44).

This would suggest that media’s newfound interactive element can position readers a little too close to journalists—although McDonald is unfazed. In fact, she says she writes “in a way that encourages the reader to respond to me and my ideas”.

“In terms of what and how I write, blogs allow me to write more creatively than what most print media models are set up for,” she adds, citing the sometimes-controversial, often opinion-based nature of the medium.

This increased participation also applies to news. Stuff.co.nz, which receives 115 million page impressions a month from 3.9 million unique browsers, engages its readers with interactive quizzes, games and video. The site’s current opinion poll asks readers to determine “who would win in a fight” between Dame Kiri Te Kanawa and Susan Boyle. (At time of writing, it’s 388 – 371 to Kiri.)

“Many journalists are now waking up to the fact that most audiences love—and expect—more than one form of media from some news outlets,” explains Appleby. “You can effectively combine print, audio, video, data and audience input into one, rapidly updating article, available from anywhere with internet access.”

Just as businesses have added Facebook and Twitter to their arsenal of marketing tools, several are turning to online outfits such as Gladeye to provide them with interactive advertising applications. Gladeye created the House of Travel mixandmatcher Facebook competition, which attracted 44,000 players in the fortnight it was active.

“I think our trademark attention to detail helped make the game satisfying to play for a long period of time,” reflects Graham. “We worked on the physics of the [spinning wheels], and the look of the dials. Also, the soundtrack added a layer of mood, and that helped with the generally satisfying character of the game.

“I really believe that if something seems real, you can trick the brain into thinking that it is real, even though you know it’s not.”

Form and Function

Dr Buettner points out that according to Sherry Turkle, Professor of the Social Studies of Science and Technology at Massachusetts Institute of Technology, an increasing willingness to take technology at face value is one of the features of convergence culture.

“So what we see here,” explains Dr Buettner, gesturing to her desktop Apple Mac computer, “does not show us in any way how a computer works, how visual programming works… and the news doesn’t show you anything about the news production, news gathering, the editing process, or how it’s visually pulled together.

“You don’t get that, because everything is absolutely smooth in its flow.”

Dr Buettner believes that the Apple iPad, once it becomes more widely used, will change the character of computing and social media.

“News will be converted into a very smooth application that looks good, and basically gives the audience what they want,” she predicts.

McDonald says that the iPad will have an especial appeal for New Zealanders.

“Kiwis have that fantastic quality of being affected by ‘new and shiny-itis’—we love to be included in the latest technology that the world is using, and we enthusiastically promote products that improve the way we do things.”

Appleby is more cautious.

“It’s easy for us in the developed world to proclaim that the iPad will eventually help us to consume all forms of media, but what of those who can’t afford, or simply don’t want one?”.

A Place for Print

Buettner points out that not long ago, it was predicted that the book was going to disappear—“but it hasn’t”.

“People have an enjoyment of reading something on paper which cannot be substituted by any electronic device,” explains Appleby. “Everyone likes to consume different forms of media in different ways. We still have people using HAM radios and Morse code, speaking Latin, and creating traditional art with paper.”

Graham agrees—but to a certain extent.

“There’ll always be a place for print, just like there’s a place for painting even though we’ve had photography for a century and a half already,” he allows. “But these brands, and the companies behind them, will evolve in a digital landscape. They need to think of themselves as selling content, not paper. Paper is a mugs’ game. Paper is a commodity, whereas words (stories, ideas, opinions, or whatever) have a unique value.”

Dr Buettner predicts that books, newspapers and magazines will turn into a “niche market, geared towards people who like having the paper on their coffee tables–people who want that medium.

“It will not be [media’s] main platform. Print won’t be the form that will make the money. I don’t think news will be on the internet, I think it will be on even more mobile media, and I think it will get more of a print-type character.”

“What is the new beast going to be?”

Of course, the nature of journalism—both as an occupation and an industry—will have to change accordingly, and Dr Buettner maintains that in the future, the job will be very different.

“A lot of journalists will have to take on more things that the editor would have used to have done, and that they’ll have to become even quicker—so it will be a question of time management more than anything,” she says, recalling McDonald’s flat statement that the speed of online media means that “deadlines don’t exist”.

Appleby, who was trained in multimedia journalism (“I can confirm that it has proven useful so far”), believes that journalists will need to be multi-skilled in areas of print, online and television journalism in order to increase their chances of gaining employment, and McDonald agrees.

“I think reporters will be expected to be more open-minded in what the future of their role may require them to do,” she says. “New journalists who can adapt quickly will be the ones that find the most success.”

Dr Buettner maintains that the industry is currently in a state of change: “There’s a question of ‘what is the new beast going to be?’.

“I think it can really go in two directions,” she elaborates. “News industries are quite aware that now is the time when decisions are going to be made that affect how the industry is going to look like, so I think it’ll be a really interesting time to watch. And if you go into that business or field of the media over the next five years, you can probably participate in what it’s going to look like.”

We wouldn’t put an entire issue of Salient exclusively on the internets without providing you with a comprehensive list of where everything is, just like there is in your Sex for dummies guide. Or, fuck it, just go read the letters.

Entire issue

All articles that are in Issue 11 of Salient are tagged with the issue number and year and can be accessed here.

Cover Story

Convergence Rules, OK

Features

Illegal flower tributes
Home taping is killing music
What is the internet?

Regular Bits

Editorial
Salient Rates
Probing the punters
Faces to Deface
Letters
Puzzles
Comics:
 The Darkroom
 Study Hard
 The Ginger Chronicles
 G33K
Notices

Executive

President’s Column
Vice President (Education)
International Officer

News

2010 Budget Announcement
ConGRADulations
“Unrelated and unplanned events” to blame for Undie “disruption”
Prof picks up prize
I vaaaaant your blood
Oh dear, what can the matter be…
New Zealand’s democracy “up for sale”?
Master writers to hold Master classes
In the Week that Wasn’t: Study Confirms Vic Quad “A bit Shit”

Columns

Ask Candy Badger
Horoscopes
Nos-tal-gee-uh
That’s So Gay
Laying Down the Law
The Reverse Sweep
Sport: Countdown to the World Cup
Yo Mama Shoulda Told You This
Health
Politics with Paul
The Lyons Share
FM, BM Nius
Beer
Wine

Arts

Theatre:
 Theatre! With Uther Dean
Film:
 So bad it’s exquisite: Examining our love of hating
Books:
 Florence and Giles by John Harding
Music:
 Sleigh Bells—Treats
 The Wild Hunt—The Tallest Man on Earth
 Expo 86

Hello. You’ve stumbled upon Salient‘s second ever online-exclusive issue! Well done! That’s right, Salient does indeed have a website, and it is pretty darn cool. Have a poke around. Click on some stuff. Read. Comment. Then go and ‘like’ our page on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter. Put us on your RSS feed. Add us to your favourites. Go on, you know you want to.

Why an online issue? Let’s turn this into a numbered list:

1. It has come to our attention that not all of you out there know Salient has a website. So part of making the mag online-exclusive this week is about drawing your attention to salient.org.nz’s all-round awesomeness.
2. Salient on the googlenetz is a heck of a lot more interactive than the paper magazine—you can comment on stuff, like, straight away! None of this hassle about making the Tuesday 5pm letters deadline, or the frustrating wait to see your garbled messages in print. If you don’t like something, you can say it. If you want to add more info, you can. If you disagree, you can say why. Right then and there. Some of the beauty of the website is the immediacy and the scope for comment and debate. Just use it wisely.
3. The more of you students we have trawling through the site, the more attractive it becomes for advertisers. Advertising revenue is crucial to Salient’s survival—especially if the VSM bomb drops and VUWSA is compelled to slash Salient’s funding.
4. Online media is the way of the future. Print media is dying, or so they keep saying. In a few years’ time, if many media commentators’ predictions come to fruition, you’ll probably be wondering why the fuck Salient was ever printed on paper anyway.

Big ups to Catch Design who keep our website looking super hot—we’ve got a bit of a makeover in the works, so keep an eye out. It’ll be even easier to use and navigate, not to mention it’s gonna look super pretty!

Spread the word, tell everyone you know Salient’s online this week. Some of you are probably going to write us letters telling us an online-exclusive issue is a crap idea. Some of you are probably going to think Salient is only going to be online forever and ever—before you go making comments, writing letters and staging protests, it’s okay, we’ll be bringing you 56 pages of papery goodness next week.

Oh and congrats to everyone who graduated last week. I hope you had as much fun running around in your bat cape as I did.

Right-click and click “save file as” to download the wordfind pdf:

Wordfind

Right-click and click “save file as” to download the crossword pdf:

Crossword

Contract brewing is a new phenomenon in the craft beer world. Essentially, it is when a brewing company chooses to make its beer using an existing brewery’s equipment. The Wellington-based Yeastie Boys were the first New Zealanders to openly do this, and since then it’s taken off as an easier way for home brewers to get their beer on the market.

The latest contract brewers are 8 Wired Brewing, the brainchild of Dane Søren Eriksen. Last week 8 Wired launched three new beers, and thanks to my boss at Hashigo Zake, I got to help put those beers on the shelves.

8 Wired is brewed at Renaissance Brewery in Blenheim—where I volunteered my time for a week. For the first few days we were packaging the three latest beers in the fast-growing 8 Wired range.

The first of which was The Big Smoke (6.2%), a smoked porter. This is a rare style of beer in New Zealand—I’m not aware of any other commercial example—which perfectly showcases 8 Wired’s desire to push the boundaries.

Bottling 2000 litres of beer can be thirsty work. So naturally, I am now very familiar with this beer. Don’t be afraid of the smoke part of this beer, because Søren has kept the smokiness relatively subtle. The Big Smoke is a well-made, robust porter, with great coffee and cocoa roast malt characteristics, while the beechwood smoked malt shows slightly in the aroma and finish.

The subtle smoke in The Big Smoke was a surprise to me, because 8 Wired beers are usually about huge flavours. The next beer we bottled reaffirmed this—iStout Imperial Stout (10.5%). If you think Guinness is ‘like a meal’, then iStout is a whole restaurant. Imperial stouts were originally intended for export to Russia, hence the huge warming flavours. A very positive effect of the big alcohol and flavour is that the beer will develop in the bottle for years to come. It obviously tastes quite young at the moment, with intense vanilla and coffee flavours assaulting the palate, followed by big bitterness. With time these flavours will integrate nicely.

The very last beer we packaged only went into kegs—meaning Red Dwarf Amber Ale (5.5%) will only be seen on tap. Luckily we’re in Wellington, and there’s no shortage of guest taps for the Red Dwarf to call home. Being an amber ale, it has a stunning red/amber colour. It throws a fresh earthy New Zealand hop aroma, and in the mouth it is full-bodied with big malty caramel flavours and a bitterness which builds with each sip.

Søren is currently on his honeymoon with his new bride Monique, so don’t expect any new 8 Wired releases in the next month, but these three will definitely tide you over until he’s back with inspiration from his world travels.

If you have any questions about this week’s beers or any comments, please contact me at davethebeerguy@gmail.com.

Candy Badger is Salient’s resident advice guru. If you need any help with relationships, flatting, university or anything else, drop her a line at candy.b.badger@gmail.com.

Dearest Candy,

How do you write an awesome hate letter?

Love,

The invisible Unicorn.

Dear Uni,

I’m also kind of a big deal on the Twitternets at the moment. If you want to tweet me a question, send it to @candybadger. That’s how I got these gems:

My friend recently kissed a guy who’s a bit sensitive. How can I stop her from hurting his feelings?

Flatmate Doer

Not you again! Just jokes (but not actually). Why did you let your friend kiss a sensitive guy in the first place? Sensitive is just a euphemism for LOSER and she shouldn’t be hitting that shit. Solution: Stop doing your flatmate, start doing either Mr Sensitive (loser) or your friend (you know you want to). Then it will be OVAH!!!

Candy

Dear Candy, I think I’ve slept with everyone in Wellington. Where can I meet some new people to do?

Dear person with no name,

Candy

This week as I gaze into the tea leaves of the past as they swirl through the mostly sipped tea-cup of time, a few noodles of knowledge are surfacing like drowning children grabbing on to the side of a full life raft. These pasta shapes of future come in letter designation-shaped lozenge bullets of truth.

So, what the stars speak for people whose name begins with a vowel is… uncertain. The normally crystal lucid future is fogged by mists of doubt. Like a far too milky cup of coffee or a nerve gas attack. This can only mean one of two things.

On one hand, it means death. As in you are going to die this week. And when I say die I mean expire and when I say expire I mean cark it like a lark-it. Sorry. I guess, there’s no way to really cushion that as a bit of news. You’ve had a good run. Unless you’ve wasted your life. Like I have. Kinda regretting all that fast food aren’t ya? Those few cigarettes? The weekly games of Russian roulette? You always knew that all your little naughtinesses would catch up with you, but not right now.

Not like this.

On the other hand, it just means that plans are changing. Your future is hazy because, well, you don’t know what to do. You had some plans but they fell apart like a mouldy sponge in an aged kidnap victim’s bleeding mouth. You’re so lost that not even the stars can see a future for you.

Sort your shit. The stars are pissed.

Now, people whose name begins with a consonant. How’re you? Good. Me? I’m good. Well, okay. Acceptable. Actually, I’m not great, if I’m honest. Things have been a bit bleh for me. I’ve just been through a rather tough time, y’know. Things are kinda getting on top of me like a giant jumping electric hippo. And I just… I look.

I’m gonna be honest. I don’t have a horoscope for you guys this week. I… The stars aren’t returning my calls. Oh, man. I… I’ve messed up so bad. I’ve fucked up.

I’m [sob] so [choke] sorry. I…

I just yelled at them [the stars] a bit, I said some things I didn’t mean and, now they’re not chatting with me.

What do I do? I’m utterly upfucked without them. I need…

Look. Stars? Are you listening? I’m sorry.

I didn’t mean it.

I need… I need you to forgive me.

Oh god. Everybody hates me know.

Look away… Look away.

Once a month or so I volunteer at the Wellington Community Law Centre and it seems that every time, without fail, someone comes in with a flatting-related dispute. This is something which particularly affects students, so the following is a little advice which might help.

Do I have a tenancy?

A tenancy is essentially a rental agreement between you and a landlord. A tenancy sets out the bond, cost of the rent, the term of the lease and so on. By signing a residential tenancy agreement the landlord owes you certain obligations and you have certain duties. If you have a dispute with your landlord you can go to the Tenancy Tribunal.
However, an agreement between flatmates is not a tenancy. Instead, you have a ‘flat sharing agreement’. This will usually be the case where there is one ‘head’ flatmate who is on the lease and other flatmates who have come in at a later date. This is a really common arrangement, where flats roll over from year to year and one flatmate stays and a few new people will move in, but don’t go on the lease. It will also be the case where one of the flatmates is the owner of the property. Because you don’t have a tenancy it means you can’t take a dispute to the tenancy tribunal.

What is a flat sharing agreement?

Basically a flat sharing agreement is the arrangement you have come to with your flatmates over the cost of the rent, the power, food, how much notice you need to give when you move out, who will be in charge of finding a new flatmate and so on. These are the nuts and bolts of living in a flat. The problem is that most people just agree these things orally or muddle on through without agreeing anything. This is all well and good until there is a falling out between flatmates when it suddenly becomes a real problem.

What should I do?

One of the best things you can do to avoid drama in the future is to put these things in writing. It doesn’t take long to sit down with the flatmates and note the agreements you have reached. Better yet, you can find a flat sharing agreement template on the Accommodation Office website: www.victoria.ac.nz/accommodation/.

If you have a current dispute, as mentioned above, you can’t go to the Tenancy Tribunal. A flat sharing agreement is just a regular contract which you have to enforce. For the most part you could go to the Disputes Tribunal. The Disputes Tribunal is not like a formal court, there are no lawyers and no judges, just a referee to hear your claim. For disputes under $1000 it will cost you $30 to file your claim. If you think you need some advice you can see a lawyer for free at the Wellington Community Law Centre: Monday to Thursday 5.30-7pm and Wednesday and Friday 12-2pm, Level 2, 82 Willis Street.

An easy way to use up old apples.

Ingredients:

• 2 apples
• 6 tablespoons porridge/oatmeal
• 4 tablespoons flour
• 6 tablespoons coconut
• 4 tablespoons brown sugar
• 50 grams/1.8 ounces butter

Method:

• Preheat oven to 150^oC/300^oF.
• Peel the apples, core and slice them.
• Put in a saucepan with a little water (not enough to cover) and cook over an element until just tender.
• Place in a small oven-proof dish.
• Melt the butter.
• Mix butter with porridge/oatmeal, flour, coconut, and brown sugar to make the topping.
• Sprinkle topping over the apples evenly, and press down gently.
• Bake for about 15 minutes, until the topping is cooked and browned.
• Served best with custard or ice cream.

If you want, you can use canned apples and not have to cook the apples beforehand. You can also add a can of drained peaches to the recipe, laying them down with the apples before adding the topping.

Tip of the week:

Some ovens are much better than others, and some can bake or cook unevenly. If you have one such troublesome oven, always set your timer to half of what the recipe says, then when it goes off turn the pan/pot/dish/etc around, and bake/cook for the rest of the time.

“What the hell is this? I ordered vodka, not ICE!”

Student night. Isn’t it beautiful?

Actually, it probably isn’t. Close to midnight on a Wednesday I can be found eating an amalgam of lunch, mid-afternoon snackage, and dinner after work at Wellington’s best kept Chinese food takeout. Between inhaling what I would term ‘questionable meat’ and wolfing down a vanilla coke, a gross spectacle of human behaviour plays out before me. With dinner and a free show, it’s no wonder I keep going back.

The first week of dinner at the Chinese holy land was during the semester break. Wide-eyed first years began toddling through around midnight, mascara running and boyfriends lacking, in search of greasy food. Unnecessary Maccas has nothing on this place. A friend and I watched in amazement as they spent ten minutes ordering their food. In the end, the smallest of the group removed her shoes in an effort to increase her ordering capabilities. I’m still wondering how this helped. Encased in sheer pantyhose, her mission of leaving the establishment was hindered as she crossed the floor, slipping near my table. I stifled a giggle.

“Oy! Watch out for this floor!” she called to her friends, “It’s like, dangerous. A health hazard!”

So perhaps student night isn’t all it was cracked up to be. The following week, as I ate something I wasn’t entirely sure of, a young man staggered in, possibly unaware he was even in a Chinese takeout. He sat down at our table and inquired as to whether my friend was going to eat her food. I cupped mine protectively, slowly drawing it back towards me. After explaining that yes, she did intend to eat her combination fried rice, he appeared deflated… Only to ask if he could watch her eat it. That night I learned a valuable lesson; watching food consumption is just as effective as eating it for a man with a serious case of the munchies.

My views of student night I had before I started at Victoria were diminishing. One week, a shaggy man waltzed in with his skateboard, screaming about how fucking awesome he was and how great all the food looked. I couldn’t disagree with him; questionable meat has become my favourite dish. But he was acting rather strangely, and after an intense discussion about what illicit substances this man could be on, we decided we probably knew too much and avoided eye contact with him.

During my first year, I spent Wednesdays crawling from bar to bar and dragging my sorry arse into STAT193 on a Thursday afternoon. On Wednesdays, I rejoiced at my pay cheque hitting my account at midnight, allowing me to race around Wellington and purchase all manner of terrible vodka-fruity mixed concoctions for a reasonable price. But after seeing the other side of student night, with its drunken antics and washed-out make-out, Wednesday just means one thing:

“Hi! Can I grab two choices of noodles… Aaaaand two of the questionable meat at the front?”

To give credit where credit is due, the catalyst for this interest in R&D was actually kicked off by an inspiring talk given by David Shearer at the fantastic New Generation Politics in Aotearoa New Zealand seminar series currently being held at Victoria University’s Stout Research Centre. Shearer is the Labour MP for Mt Albert, and the party’s spokesperson for Research, Science and Technology. In his talk he raised the notion that perhaps New Zealand could benefit by aiming to align itself more with a country like Finland, rather than trying to ‘bridge the gap’ with Australia, as advocated by the current government, led by Dr Brash’s 2025 Taskforce.

Finland is a country that, despite being on the opposite side of the world from Godzone, shares a number of characteristics with New Zealand in terms of geographical size and population. It has, however, experienced significantly higher rates of growth in GDP since its recovery from a banking crisis in the early 1990s, over the same time period compared to New Zealand.

While it is important to keep in mind Finland’s proximity to European markets and its place in the European Union, Finland’s high rates of growth can be at least partially explained by the country’s high spending on R&D.

According to Statistics New Zealand’s Research and Development in New Zealand Report released in 2008, New Zealand spent only 1.16 per cent of GDP on R&D in that year, well below the OECD (Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development) average of 2.26 per cent. In comparison, in the same year Finland spent a whopping 3.45 per cent of their GDP on R&D, in line with increased spending trends in the country since the 1990s. This has undoubtedly contributed to Finland’s 84 per cent rise in GDP since 1995, exemplified by the meteoric success of Finnish communications giant Nokia.

A 2006 report from New Zealand’s Ministry of Research, Science & Technology commented that despite the fact “the ratio of R&D to GDP has increased from 0.95 per cent to 1.05 per cent over the 1994 to 2004 period… even at this level, New Zealand is well below the OECD average and would need to double its R&D performance to reach the OECD average”. Furthermore, the report acknowledged that New Zealand is “well below its reference group countries” in this regard.

While it can be conceded that much of New Zealand’s R&D is based around primary production, which costs far less than aerospace, defence or automotive R&D, perhaps this country could benefit from increased spending and increased scope around R&D across the business, government and higher education sectors alike.

In light of all this, the recently announced $321 million funding package is a welcome boost for the science community. However, a number of concerns have already been raised, especially concerning the amount allocated which doesn’t come close to matching the previous Labour Government’s $630 million package. Shearer has been quick to point out that the National Government “has neglected R&D since it came to power”, and after scrapping “Labour’s R&D tax credits and $700 million Fast Forward Fund, [the government] is now playing catch up”.

Furthermore, John Key has announced that the government will cut $96 million from the science sector to fund the government’s new grants and voucher systems included as a part of the package, both of which support business R&D. This underscores what is an incredibly pro-business package, although that isn’t exactly surprising considering the government in power.

An encounter between the government’s Chief Science Advisor Peter Gluckman and Radio New Zealand’s Sean Plunket, where Gluckman commented that “our private sector spends between 25 and 30 per cent of what other comparable private sectors spend [on R&D]”, provoking Plunket to ask, “Why should the government subsidise a private sector that isn’t pulling its own weight?” This led Scoop columnist Gordon Campbell to complain that this “brand of corporate welfare is really indefensible”. Campbell further speculated that under this “misdirection of funds”, science is actually likely to suffer from the profit-enhancing, short-term nature of business-focused R&D funding.

Taking these concerns into account, while any increase in funding for R&D is a positive step, unfortunately the National Party has shown an ineptitude in realising the potential in significant and wide-ranging funding across the board, and instead of thinking progressively, New Zealand will instead be relegated to continuing to endure Dr Brash’s flogging of the 2025 horse.

As an aside, there are two more seminars being held in the aforementioned New Generation Politics in Aotearoa New Zealand series at the Stout Research Centre, and considering the quality of the seminars so far, they are really not to be missed. For more information, visit http://www.victoria.ac.nz/stout-centre/about/events/current-seminars.aspx

Bill’s vision for Nuu Zillund

There was a distinct lack of any drama in last week’s Budget 2010 announcement, with all the major changes already spilled by the main players.

 
In a rather lacklustre performance, Finance Minister Bill English announced a raft of tax changes and confused the lot of us with a whole lot of words to say not much.
 
The promised GST increase was there, as were the promised tax cuts.  However, despite the shopping list of pre-Budget changes announced by Tertiary Education Minister Steven Joyce, Budget 2010 was lacking in any real direction for the tertiary sector.
 
Although the Budget allows for 1735 new full-time places at universities nationwide, NZUSA co-President Pene Delaney dismisses it as inadequate given the current climate.

Vice-Chancellor’s Committee Chair Derek McCormack says the budget does little to support universities’ ability to contribute to sustained economic growth.

“The budget makes room for a total of 765 new places across all universities next year, but it does this through no additional funding. 

“This will not ease the burden that universities are facing in demand for places and the universities will continue to turn thousands of students away.”
 
Labour Tertiary Education spokesperson Maryan Street says the new places are not for new students.

“Let’s be clear — these are not 1735 new students. Most of them are already in universities but being carried and funded by the universities themselves.

“When universities are writing to hundreds and hundreds of students to say ‘don’t bother enrolling, we can’t take you’, this doesn’t cut it.”

As teased by Joyce, students who fail more than half of their papers over the course of their first 1.6 Equivalent Full Time Student (EFTS) units (a standard year is 0.8 EFTS) will have their ability to borrow from student loans cut.

Students will need to complete papers at their own expense before regaining access to the loan scheme.

The time limit for access to the student loan scheme has also been set at 7 EFTS. Students will need to fund any further study themselves, with a few exceptions.

NZUSA co-president David Do was disappointed with the lack of direction for the sector.
 
“It has failed to meaningfully tackle the real issues of underfunding and student debt,” says Do.
 
Joyce says the cautious approach towards tertiary funding can be blamed on the price of failure incurred on students and the government.
 
“When students take out a student loan, but fail to gain a qualification, they incur costs for themselves and for the government without any real gain.”

Green Party Tertiary Education Spokesperson Gareth Hughes says the lack of any extra funding for tertiary education is essentially a cut.

“The Minister for Tertiary education has shifted $200 million into a student achievement-based funding model for universities which will increase inequality.

“Funding systems that focus on student achievement will erode academic standards by forcing lecturers to allow substandard students to pass courses so they retain funding.”



Former Salient News Editor and numbers man Keith Ng summed up Budget 2010 best by asking “What’d you expect?

“

This is a tax cut for the rich, yes, but I struggle to get too worked up about it. Key said it was a tax cut for the rich, National campaigned on tax cuts for the rich and people elected them to give tax cuts to the rich. Meh, this is how governments work.”



With the rise of GST from 12.5 per cent to 15 per cent, general household necessities such as petrol, food and power will rise in price come 1 October.



There is a small break for those on a student allowance, with the government promising a 2.02 per cent rise in payments to counteract the rise in GST.



Tax rates for those earning between $14,000 to $48,000 dropped from 21 per cent to 17.5 per cent, and those earning between $48,000 to $70,000 will see a change to 30 per cent down from 33 per cent.



According to English, these changes would give those on the average income an extra $30 per week. 



Opposition leader Phil Goff was quick to contradict the government’s forecast figures on tax cuts, and says that with the GST increase, those on an average wage income would in fact be $30 worse off every week.

“

There could scarcely be a worse time to put pressure on family budgets than right now.”



To help you work your way through the multiple increases and decreases and changes galore, the government has developed an online calculator. To work out what effect the tax cut will have on you, go to taxguide.govt.nz.

1. Did you know Salient has a website?
2. What is your favourite computer lab on campus?
3. Do you know anyone who is graduating?
4. Who is hotter, Max Hardy or Leonardo DiCaprio?
5. Red Bull or V?

Hana, 18, Art History and Classics

1. Yes.
2. The library.
3. Yes.
4. Leonardo DiCaprio.
5. Red Bull.

Muncan, 18, Psychology

1. No.
2. I’ve never used a computer here.
3. Yes, some devilishly handsome fellow in CUP.
4. I don’t know who Max Hardy is.
5. Red Bull.

Hayley, 18, psychology

1. No.
2. I don’t have one.
3. No.
4. Isn’t Max Hardy a wrestler?
5. Neither.

Aimee, 18, Art History and Psychology

1. I do.
2. I dunno.
3. No.
4. Leonardo DiCaprio.
5. Neither.

Rosie, 18, BCA

1. No I did not.
2. The one in Murphy.
3. No.
4. I don’t know who Max Hardy is so Leonardo.
5. Red bull.

Rewa, 19, BCA

1. No.
2. Murphy 401 I think it is.
3. No.
4. Yeah… Leonardo DiCaprio.
5. V.

Sarah, 18, History and Political Science

1. No.
2. Not the library, but you know the overbridge… There’s the lockers and then you turn right and its there.
3. No.
4. Leonardo DiCaprio.
5. V.

Sam, 18, English

1. Yes.
2. I don’t where any are apart from the library.
3. No.
4. Uhm Caprio.
5. Neither.

Jess, 20, German, Classics and Deaf studies

1. Yes.
2. None, my iPod.
3. Yes.
4. Neither, I’d use one to smack the other.
5. Red Bull.

It rained on their parade

Almost 2000 students celebrated successfully completing their Victoria University studies at last week’s graduation ceremonies, but some only got to partake in half of graduation tradition.

With the parade cancelled on Wednesday, only half of the graduates got their chance to strut their stuff down Wellington streets in their Harry Potter robes.

Florists and restauranteurs will be able to take a breather now the ceremonies to honour 32 PhD students and hand out 2100 degrees, diplomas and certificates are over.

Victoria University Vice-Chancellor Pat Walsh says graduation is worth celebrating, as getting a degree from Victoria is the result of hard work and dedication.

“Victoria has an established reputation both in New Zealand and internationally for academic excellence and the calibre of its research and postgraduate study―getting a degree is not just a matter of turning up to class.”

VUWSA President Max Hardy was there to watch all of the graduates walk across the Michael Fowler Centre stage.

“It was fantastic to celebrate the successes of so many VUWSA members.

“It was particularly nice to be there to celebrate the graduation of two members of the VUWSA exec and two Salient staff.”

Alongside the bat-cape enrobed students, Victoria handed out two Honorary Doctorates, both to Professors who happen to be working at Australia National University.

Professor Anthony Reid is an eminent academic and writer on Southeast Asia, most famous for his Southeast Asia in the Age of Commerce.

Since graduating from Victoria University with a PhD in Organic Chemistry in 1979, Honorary Doctorate recipient Professor Martin Banwell has made influential contributions to the discipline, and is one of Australasia’s most highly regarded chemists.

His main area of research is the synthesis of biologically active organic molecules of relevance to medicine.

Salient will be including an interview with Banwell in next week’s issue.

I was living with flatmates who were really nice, but they were not quite sure how to help look after me. Thankfully, a nursing friend appeared to care for me just like my own Florence Nightingale. This was a huge relief because I was basically incapable of looking after myself. She prepared soups and drinks, checked my temperature and gave me paracetamol to treat the fever and pain associated with the flu. I remember drifting in and out of sleep hoping that I would get better soon. It took over two weeks to recover.

While I was studying, I was also nursing at a health service in town. That Autumn I had been happily vaccinating patients who were at increased risk of complications from the flu, including people over 65 years of age and those with long-term health conditions such as diabetes, cardiovascular and respiratory disorders. I thought I was young and healthy and I assumed my robust immune system and a positive outlook would protect me. I told myself that even if I did get the flu I would recover in record time, and I even consider that the experience would be a good challenge for my body. I was not alone with these beliefs, as many of the nurses and doctors I worked with in the 1990s did not have the flu vaccine. This has changed.

Looking back over my medical history I would have to rate the flu and chemotherapy, which I have also had, at a similar level. Now as soon as the flu vaccine arrives at Student Health, the staff start to vaccinate each other. Since I have had an annual flu vaccine I have not had the flu again.

Thanks to funding from VUWSA and flu vaccination clinics in the Residential Halls, on campus and at the Student Health Service, we have vaccinated over 2000 students. This is great because it is very hard to avoid the flu, considering people who have the flu are contagious a day before they develop symptoms. Vaccination is the most effective way to protect yourself from the flu.

Steps you can take to prepare for flu season include stocking up on a few essential items, such as:

• Tissues
• Canned foods, including soups, fruit, juices and jelly
• Paracetamol, which is cheaper on prescription from your doctor
• Have your own thermometer
• If you live away from home make sure your friends or flatmates have the contact details of your family
• Know where to get information regarding the flu
• Student Health Service: www.victoria.ac.nz/st_services/health/ Telephone 463 5308
• Healthline on 0800 611 116, for 24-hour advice from a registered nurse
• Ministry of Health website: www.moh.govt.nz/influenza-a-h1n1

What to do if someone does get the flu:

• They should stay in their room to prevent spreading the infection to others. However, they need to be checked on frequently to make sure they have not developed any serious complications or other conditions such as meningitis.

• Prevent dehydration by ensuring the person drinks at least 2L of fluid a day. Recommended fluids include diluted fruit juice and soft drinks, sport drinks and Lucozade. Avoid alcohol and caffeine, as these both make dehydration worse.

• Normal body temperature is 37 degrees Celsius. Having a fever can feel terrible and is potentially dangerous. Treat fever with regular paracetamol (take one or two 500mg tablets every 4-6 hours. Maximum adult dose is eight tablets in 24 hours.

Seek medical advice if you notice any of the following:

• Difficulty with, or noisy breathing or shortness of breath.
• Pain or pressure in the chest or stomach.
• Confusion or disorientation.
• Coughing up bloody sputum.
• Severe vomiting or vomiting that does not go away.
• If symptoms are worsening rather than improving.

The vaccine is still available for free at the Student Health for students with ongoing health issues, such as people who have asthma and take a regular preventer inhaler, diabetes, people with a body mass index of 35 or greater, autoimmune conditions, or women who are pregnant. Otherwise there is an $18 charge.

Being fit and healthy will not protect you from the flu. Influenza is not just a bad cold, it can be serious and potentially fatal. Immunisation is your best protection and it helps to improve your body’s defence against influenza. For more information about the flu vaccine call, 0800 466 863, text “flu” to 515, visit www.fightflu.co.nz or contact Student Health.

Any floor of the library 7/10
The computer labs on the first and second floors of the library are probably two of the nicest places to browse the internet (for research, of course) and write essays. There are lots of windows, it’s light and airy, and in winter they even turn the heaters on. The only problem: it’s basically mission impossible to get a computer there unless you show up at 8am and settle yourself in for the day, snacks included. But to be honest, it’s kind of worth the early start or half-hour wait. When you get bored you can watch people walk past in the quad.

The one in the atrium of the Student Union Building 1/10
There are no windows. And it’s kind of stuffy. It smells a little funky too. You also get all the noise from other goings on in the atrium (like those guitar players), and it’s really awkward to line up and wait for a computer. Where do you stand?

Second floor Murphy, to the right of the lifts 2/10
I really hope they’ve improved the computers in here since last time I used them. I used to come across broken keyboards all the time. Or, like, one crucial letter wouldn’t work. Or the whole keyboard wouldn’t work. Or there wouldn’t be a chair. Sigh. Oh, and there’s no cellphone reception.

Design and Architecture library 4/10
When this place is deserted, it’s perfect. It’s quiet, there’s not too many people around, and there’s usually heaps free computers. Sure, if you’re not a design or arch kid, the books are of no use, but at least it’s a nice change of scenery. If the computer lab is packed, however, you end up knocking elbows with your neighbour, and it gets a little hot and sweaty in there. Oh, and people start talking. Loudly.

The “very leftest lab on the second floor of Murphy” aka “the one with Firefox” 8.5/10
I’ve never been there, but a couple of boys in the Salient office swear by this place. It has Firefox, air conditioning, and I’m told it smells nice. It has giant windows that overlook a green garden. It sounds really rather nice. Sometimes they have classes in there, which is both a distraction and an annoyance. But other than that, it sounds perfect.

Third floor of the Railway Wing at Pipitea 7/10
Again, I’ve never been there, but in the interests of appealing to Salient readers across all campuses, it was decided to include a computer lab at Pipitea. This one apparently has headphones and feels a lot like an internet cafe. A nice internet cafe. Wow. If anyone can tell us about the state of the computer labs at Karori, it would be much appreciated.

The Formula One season is well and truly underway, and the drivers’ championship is now wide open. With no fewer than four world champions in the starting lineup, the championships were always going to be anyone’s game. Following an action-packed sixth race at the Monaco Grand Prix, this verdict remains much the same.

Defending world champion Jenson Button went into Monaco with a three-point lead over Fernando Alonso atop the drivers’ standings, only for a blown engine to end his race just three laps in. The stage was set for pole-sitter Mark Webber to take a second successive victory, with the Australian leading teammate Sebastien Vettel home for a somewhat predictable Red Bull one-two. The duo are now equal point leaders on 78, with Webber the new championship leader thanks to an extra victory.

Ferrari’s Fernando Alonso made a blistering finish, to climb from last to an original placing of seventh. However, more than two hours of deliberations saw seven-time world champion Michael Schumacher stripped of sixth place due to an illegal pass on the safety car-influenced final lap. This ensures Alonso enters the Turkish Grand Prix just three points adrift of the leaders with 75 points.

What was predicted to be one of the most competitive seasons ever has so far proven no different, with the top eight drivers separated by a mere 22 points—less than a single race win! The top four in particular have so far been difficult to separate, and with the likes of Lewis Hamilton and Felipe Massa close enough to take advantage of any slip-ups, the drivers’ championship already looks sure to go down to the wire.

The constructors’ championship is more predictable. The superior quality of the Red Bull cars was evident in the earliest races, with Webber and Vettel reaping the rewards of consistently good speed and reliability. However, while Webber has remained more than content with his ride throughout, Vettel has had to rely on others’ misfortune on the back of some technical and alignment issues.

Meanwhile, leading contenders McLaren and Ferrari have had their share of problems, while Williams is currently investigating what caused both cars to crash heavily at Monaco. Based on current form, it would be hard to bet against Red Bull taking the constructors’ title, and betting agencies agree. However, Ferrari is as usual right in the mix, and at just twenty points back cannot be discounted; while McLaren is the only team with two world champions on board.

Webber’s back-to-back victories have him moving up to second favourite ($3.50) behind Vettel ($4.20) at the TAB, with two-time champion Alonso third at $4.50 However, I believe his superior car reliability and experience make the Aussie the new man to beat. Many experts, including Frank Williams—one of Webber’s ex-bosses and a three-decade veteran in the sport—are also starting to take this position.

The remainder of the F1 season promises to be ultra-competitive and exciting, so if you’re a motorsport fan, you’d be crazy to miss it.

Polyamory—n. participation in multiple and simultaneous loving or sexual relationships.

Oh, that sounds pretty cool. I went to a study group thing about this the other night—it was like doing bible study all over again, but about queer stuff. It sounded really neat. I have to admit I have been feeling kinda polyamorous as of late as well, so I guess that’s what’s inspiring me to even write this (and the fact it’s the only thing I could think of in the last hour before this is due…).

There are a few sweet things about polyamory: it’s a lot less pressure on a person to be the provider of everything their partner needs emotionally and physically, et cetera. I dunno about you, but makes sense to me. Also, it turns out that it’s not uncommon for creatures of the animal kingdom to be polyamorous—just ask David Attenborough, he showed us birds who like to get around. When it comes to raising kids, there is more of a community raising them, rather than this silly two parents business we have going on right now. This community-raising-kids-thing isn’t a new idea either, other communities have been doing that for aaaaages.

You might be thinking: “OMG! Those poor kids, they must be so unbalanced in their views, what with their mother and father and their girlfriend, they are going to be SOOO messed up as adults.”

Umm, yeah, nah. They’ll probably be a bit more open about different ideas, and just won’t be as likely to get that heteronormative society thing.

I have a couple of friends in polyamorous relationships—this is awesome, they are awesome. It works awesomely. But as much as I would like to be in one of these kinds of relationships with people, I would end up with a huge problem. Something relating to my insecurities and feeling extremely jealous and suspicious of everything they do. Perhaps I can change this? Perhaps I should stick to boring old monogamy? At the very least, I should go on more dates. Hey everyone, go on dates with me! It’d be heaps of fun—we can split the bill and treat each other like individuals and maybe end up in the sack. Cool plan eh?

DISCLAIMER: This column is not actually a personal ad. People should ignore the call for date friends… unless they think Stephen’s real cute.

Students perform “I told you so” dance

The conclusions of two studies undertaken at Otago University, addressing the causes of, and the role of the media, in events at the Undie 500, and focusing on potential solutions to “a culture of student binge drinking”, were presented at an Alcohol Advisory Council (ALAC) conference last week.

One study focused on Ensoc’s annual Undie 500, and aimed to address the causes of disorder at the event, and to consider possible preventative measures.

While the study acknowledged that the Undie itself was “well organised and went according to plan”, it pointed to “unrelated and unplanned events” which coincided with the Undie as leading to “alcohol-fuelled disruption on the streets of Dunedin”.

Discussing the media’s role in the event, researcher Maria Stubbe said “the media portrayed the unorganised alcohol-fuelled events in Dunedin as being part of Undie 500—despite the fact that some of this disruptive behaviour had preceded the arrival of the rally cars.

“It is acknowledged that tertiary students are an ‘at risk’ population for alcohol misuse. However, non-students were also involved in the disturbance—a point which was largely overlooked in the media reports.”

Attempting to form conclusions from the events at Undie, researchers pointed to areas which could have been improved, including managing student events better to avoid potential problems such as situational drinking and disruptive behaviour, and organising activities such as music or arts events which could assist in dispersing the crowds across the city.

Further, the report stated that “the media could also assist by adjusting its focus to celebrate the positives of events and student culture in the future”.

Responding to ALAC’s press release about the report, Ensoc president Michael Cook stated that “this report backs up the theory that we have, and have been trying to prove and implement over the past couple of years.

“Hopefully this year we get the opportunity to create a properly controlled event to prove that we are able to hold a positive and successful event, not only for the students at the University of Canterbury, but also for the wider community.

“It is also important to note that Ensoc frequently runs successful events with larger numbers of attendees than the Undie 500 Charity Drive, and we would apply the same principles, controls and measures to any event we run to ensure that it is run successfully.”

Also presented at ALAC’s conference was a new initiative designed to address the culture of student binge drinking, developed by Vanessa Reddy of the Otago University Students’ Association.

Basing her report on findings from a year spent in the United States, where many universities have successfully addressed problems relating to binge drinking, Ms Reddy developed a 40-point plan to address alcohol-related issues. The plan, offered as a long-term solution to university drinking culture, “will be developed by way of a five-, ten- and 20-year plan at Otago University”.

Some of the strategies outlined in the plan include “cutting down the number of liquor outlets around campuses, developing a ‘sober up safely’ facility, and ensuring landlords conduct inspections after student house parties”. Initially, Student Health is running a pilot scheme involving “motivational interviewing”, where highly intoxicated students are asked discuss their drinking with their Residential Assistant. This is followed up with an online survey which will “help students to question their motivation for drinking and think about changing their habits”.

“Strategies such as these should help create safer campuses where students can use alcohol without drinking excessively or coming to any harm,” Ms Reddy said.

This week we take a look at the relatively unheard-of Pinot Blanc, a white wine varietal that is a genetic mutation of Pinot Noir. When vine yields are kept low, Pinot Blanc produces stunning no-frills wines that are very approachable, and this week’s wine of the week is a textbook example.

Remember when it comes to drinking wine to keep one of the philosophies of this column in mind: be liberal with your dabbling, and don’t let popularity dictate your taste. In no way is this varietal inferior just because it hasn’t received the extensive coverage that some of the other white wine family members have.

On a global scale, Pinot Blanc is planted in a diverse range of countries such as Argentina, Germany, and extensively in Italy where the grape is known as Pinot Bianco. In New Zealand Pinot Blanc is certainly classed as a minor variety, with only 17 hectares planted from the Wairarapa down to Central Otago. This is a skerrick of the overall industry grape plantings, which, for your interest, total around 31,000 hectares.

When Pinot Blanc grapes are on the vine they have a radiant green skin and resemble Chardonnay in both colour, leaf structure, and bunch formation. Internationally this has produced problems for some growers who have found they have Pinot Blanc and Chardonnay intermingling in the same crop.

Wine of the Week

If you have never tried Pinot Blanc before, the Mount Edward 2009 Pinot Blanc ($19-21), made with fruit from Lowburn in Central Otago, is a fantastic introduction. Founded in 1997, Mount Edward winery is located in the spectacularly beautiful Gibbston sub region of Central Otago. The wine ethos at Mount Edward is hand-crafted quality, with the winery producing an average of only 6000 cases per year.

Once in the glass, this wine has a floral aroma with hints of spring blossom, white peaches and that crisp, fresh, vibrant aroma of apricot. Not apricot that has gone mushy, apricot that has just hit ripeness.

The wine is off-dry and delicate with a smooth texture that allows it to easily cruise its way around your mouth. The finish is clean with a degree of lushness, as though you’ve just eaten a couple of dried apricots.

If a mild seafood or chicken dish is on the menu I’d definitely recommend this drop as an accompaniment.

Victoria Law Professor David McLauchlan has a new award to sit next to his 2006 VUW Academic Idol, while Law student Ruiping Ye also takes home a prize.

The Unpublished Student Paper Award went to Ruiping Ye for her paper The demise of ultra vires in New Zealand: to be? not to be! This award is open to papers between a minimum of 10,000 and a maximum of 18,000 words and must have been written for course credit at a New Zealand university.

McLauchlan won the Sir Ian Barker Published Article Award for the best article at the recent Legal Research Foundation Awards.

McLauchlan is in his 40th year of teaching law at Victoria and is also an Honorary Professor at the University of Queensland.

During a distinguished career he has won numerous awards for his legal research, including the Legal Research Foundation Book Award (1981) for The Contractual Remedies Act 1979 (co-authored with Francis Dawson) and the Hon Rex Mason Prize for Legal Writing (1987).

In a recent Supreme Court case, it was said of him: “I pause to pay, or repay, a tribute to the learned Professor. His work to bring some logic and cohesion into the task of contractual interpretation has been as outstanding as it has been tireless.”

Dean of Law Professor Tony Smith says: “This is a gratifying demonstration of the depth of legal talent in this faculty, from the student to the professorial level. We are delighted with this recognition for both of them and for the faculty.”

World Blood Donor Day 2010

The vampire-crazed fans of Twilight and True Blood who really want someone to take their blood can have their chance as part of World Blood Donor Day.

While you won’t be surrendering your veins to a sparkly dead guy, you will be helping the News Zealand Blood Service (NZBS) top up their stocks.

World Blood Donor Day ‘New Blood for Life’ is being held on Monday 14 June. The campaign is designed to attract new donors, particularly between the ages of 18 and 30.

Due to New Zealand’s aging population, the NZBS donor database declines by about 1000 people per year. The NZBS says “We need the next generation to come to the party.”

NZBS Donor Recruiter Sandra Tolve says they are always trying to “boost” new donor numbers as a result of high demand.

“Approximately 3000 whole blood donations are needed each week in order to save lives.

“This week particularly we are looking for more O+ blood donors due to a surge in usage.”

Tolve says that student participation remains variable, a fact which they are eager to change.

“In the past we have had Vic Uni Psych students running a survey on campus regarding blood donation prior to our visits, which was great, but unfortunately that hasn’t happened for a while,” says Tolve.

VUWSA Vice-President Seamus Brady says as the World Donor Day is in the middle of Vic exams, VUWSA is currently organising an on-campus blood drive for trimester two.

The self-sufficient blood service run by NZBS throughout New Zealand ensures that “Kiwi lives are saved every day with the help of voluntary blood donations made by their fellow Kiwis.”

The Wellington Donor Centre is also open Monday to Friday every week, with various times for donating either whole blood, platelets or plasma.

For more information about becoming a blood donor, call 0800 GIVE BLOOD or check out nzblood.co.nz.

While we all may get a bit of the blues over winter, many of us seem to slip a bit further into depression. Seasonally Affective Disorder (SAD) is more widespread than we may otherwise think, and can be mistaken for exam stress. This disorder comes but once a year, over winter, as we get less sun and a whole lot more rain, wind, and general weather-beaten-ness. As summer comes around, the veil lifts, and we don’t worry about it… until next year.

The best thing to do over winter is to make sure you get sun when you can, directly onto your skin. Doing this will ensure your body is getting a good hit of vitamin D, which is best absorbed by the skin, and cannot be absorbed through glass—so sitting in the window won’t get you that hit. To make sure you do enjoy your time in the sun, why not exercise? Go for a run, as the exercise will do you good as well. Exercising gives you endorphins, which also help keep you happy. Hate exercising? Next time you walk up the Kelburn campus, take your jacket off and try to walk faster. Easy!

Also make sure you do get enough exercise. A good tip is to see if you can get the same amount as you did in summer. If you can’t walk the entire journey, why not buy yourself something from the dairy two stops away, and get on the bus from there? If the weather is terrible, mission to a city market on Sunday and spend the rest of the day cooking a big pot of soup in your nice snuggly kitchen. At the very least, I don’t want to see any of you spending the entire day in bed unless you have the flu. Fresh air and exercise.

Set yourself a threshold for the maximum length of time you’re willing to spend without hanging out with your friends. Try to see someone enjoy talking to, face to face, at least once a week. Just talking and enjoying company are good mood elevators. Do this for yourself, and do this for your friends. Talk about anything and everything.

Make the point to ensure your uni work is as stress-free as possible. Get a big calendar from VUWSA and write all your deadlines on it, so nothing sneaks up on you. Make the most of your lecturers’ contact hours to get clarification on those assignments, and you’ll feel much better.

And finally, mix it up a little. Try to do something different every day, even if its walking home a different way, or splurging that extra $4 and getting a giant meringue for lunch. Enjoy your opportunities and make the most of life, even cold icy winter life.

South Africa, with a history of poverty, crime, racial segregation and sporting isolation, has a chance to follow Beijing’s lead from the 2008 Olympics and dispatch of negative public perception surrounding its tarnished image. For a nation once plagued by apartheid and sports boycotts, FIFA’s decision to award South Africa hosting rights for football’s premier event represents the latest in a line of decisions (a return to the ’92 Olympics at Barcelona, hosting the ‘95 Rugby World Cup and the 2009 Cricket World Cup) to reinstate the country among mainstream international sporting tournaments.

In preparation for the World Cup, five new stadiums have been constructed, and a further five have been refurbished. A sum of $3.7 million has been poured into a new international airport in Durban and a high-speed train between Johannesburg Airport and the city centre, among other improvements. While the football festival will inject approximately $55 billion into the economy and create around 415,400 jobs, the real benefits will stem from global profiling that will generate the long-term spinoffs. Tourism gold awaits the nation.

Nelson Mandela proclaimed “I feel like a young man of 50” when he hoisted the World Cup trophy after South Africa was announced as host for 2010. There’s virtually no chance the Bafana Bafana side will have the good fortune of Mandela to get to grips with the trophy, but the chance to play host is already a victory for the country. Sports administrator Danny Jordaan, who led the bid for South Africa, was optimistic even before the preparations had begun: “Members of the executive committee, I hope you understand what you have done for so many people in South Africa; unemployed, no food, but now with hope. You have turned a dream into hope and that dream has come true today.”

Right-click on the link and click “save file as” to download the pdf:

Faces to Deface

VSM Bill stuck in select committee

Just to remind you all, Sir Roger Douglas’ Education (Freedom of Association) Amendment Bill is still lingering around New Zealand student politics like a pungent odour. Stinking up the future of student politics, this bill and the uncertainty for students’ associations is hanging about.

If passed, Roger Douglas’s bill would see voluntary student membership (VSM) become the norm at universities nationwide. This would then force students to choose if they want to join the students’ association or not.

The current system allows students to choose to no longer be a member of their association if they have ideological objections.

Can this bill make it through the lengthy and testing legislation process in the New Zealand Government? The process has seen it through its introduction to the House, where it became publicly available and a “formal legislative proposal”.

After a successful introduction and first reading of the bill, it was voted for and referred to the Education and Science Select Committee. The select committee is currently inside their six-month time period that is given as a time frame before reporting back to the House on the proposed legislation.

The select committee began hearing submissions on the bill last month and is expected to present a report, including “recommended amendments shown and a ‘commentary’, which is the committee’s narrative explanation of its recommendations and the issues it considered”.

The select committee’s report is due to the House of Representatives on 30 September this year.

More information on the bill can be found here:

Education (Freedom of Association) Amendment Bill

First Reading on the Bill

Education and Science Select Committee

Progress of Legislation

More information on VUWSA and its services – http://www.vuwsa.org.nz/

Did you know each NT Executive has a staff email? No? Well they do. If you know the first and last name of the Exec member you want to get a hold of—for example Victor Manawatu—then you know their email: Victor.Manawatu@vuw.ac.nz. It’s just got a ‘@vuw.ac.nz’ at the end of it. Easy.

On the other hand, if it’s Ani Racheal McGarvey or Jenna-Faith Allan—they’re the exceptions. What their emails are, I’m not too sure, so to be on the safe side, don’t email them. Just catch up with them at THW or during their office hours.

Next we have the website www.ngaitauira.org.nz. CHECK IT OUT! (Please note it’s ‘org.nz’ not ‘.CO.nz’. It’s ORG as in organisation, not company. And don’t act like you don’t know what I mean…). It’s handy when you want to know what it is that NT actually does for you. There are also pics and links and words and stuff that’s been there since the site was created a year ago now. And sometimes it even gets updated. Like just the other day scholarships information magically appeared. No lies. It happened. I was there.

You can also check out the Exec people from last year and previous years. Compare how times have changed and how they haven’t changed. Maybe. And if you want to email Exec members but don’t know their last name—or even their first—then you can see the list of the names for the current peoples. I say list of names because they don’t actually have their profiles up yet. But another sign of it being updated soon is the fact that at the end of the list of names there’s a sentence that says ‘Profiles coming soon’. Exciting. They might even have Ani/Racheal’s and Jenna-Faith’s email addresses. More exciting.

Another way of getting in on the action that is NT is by adding them as your friend AND group page on Facebook. Yes. Friend AND group page as in, there’s a Ngāi Tauira profile AND a Ngāi Tauira group page. That’s how up with the times they are, Facebook savvy and everything. Go NT.

This is where they post up event pages and invite those in the know to their events like the annual Pō Whakangahau and Sports Days, Study Wānanga and Kapa Haka Noho, etc. When you ‘miss’ the posters hanging up at THW or don’t pay attention to announcements in classes, then maybe during your daily/hourly dose of FB you’ll see an invite to an event pop up. Now that’s handy.

So to reiterate (this is starting to sound a little bit like an essay…), email is firstname.lastname@vuw.ac.nz, website is www.ngaitauira.org.nz, and Facebook pages, you might have noticed, have yet to be told as to where to find them. Why? Because that’s your quest in order to get the movie tickets. Find the pages and 1) find out the status update of the profile page and 2) what the upcoming event is for NT on the group page. Message your email and answers to the NT Facebook profile—group or otherwise—to go into the draw (that means you have to add yourself to the NT profile or group). BUT WAIT! What if you don’t have a Facebook page? (This one’s for you Jamie). Then go on the NT website and name TWO services that NT offers as stated on their website. Here’s some help: They’re all mostly listed on the home page. Send your name and answers in via email to Mariana Whareaitu. Winner will be announced week after next.

Artist:Sleigh Bells
Album:Treats
Label: (N.E.E.T.)

Sleigh Bells is the latest in that unfortunately labelled line of ‘internet-hyped’ bands. A variety of leaked demos have established that Sleigh Bells is basically a pop band, but the one major difference being that these songs are LOUD. As in, official-entry-in-the-noise-wars loud. There are punk elements, hip-hop beats and even metal guitar riffs present here. One thing all these genres lack, especially when combined in an ear-blasting mix here, is subtlety. The first thing that comes to mind comparison-wise is Girl Talk, albeit a little less ADD, and with actual songs.

These are definitely pop songs, but there is an undercurrent of something seriously fucked up. Never before have youthful giggles and cheers sounded so menacing. After listening through, the album cover makes a lot of sense: a group of cheerleaders in one of their formations, hands on hips, faces crumpled in on themselves—pretty disturbing. It’s the polar opposite take on youth to M83’s dreamy and nostalgic Saturdays=Youth. This reimagines youth with bitchy cheerleaders and grungy drug-fuelled teenage parties.

But there’s something about Treats that makes me want to play it over and over on repeat: it’s addictive. Their sound is confrontational to say the least. There are moments of respite, as on the funked-up (and Funkadelic-sampling) ‘Rill Rill’, but mostly Sleigh Bells spend Treats crafting a sound that is uniquely theirs. Album opener ‘Tell ‘Em’ lets you know: “Adjust volume now” right up front, with its aggressive bass drum assault and metal guitar riff, and works as a perfect introduction to what’s to come. Lead singer Alexis Krauss used to be in a teen pop group, which makes sense: her vocals are a perfect blend of Sugababes and Alice Glass from Crystal Castles—breathy but violent—but somehow amidst the sonic chaos she mostly keeps her cool.

They are definitely a divisive group, just like their label owner M.I.A., but this is music deserving of strong reactions. The most important aspect of Treats, and something I probably haven’t stressed enough, is how much fun it is. It doesn’t take itself too seriously and knows exactly what it is: big loud party jams. And at that it succeeds.

Finance reform passes its first reading among serious concerns.

The Electoral (Finance Reform and Advance Voting) Amendment Bill passed its first reading in parliament, despite concerns from the Green and Maori Parties that it does not go far enough.

The bill is just one part of an extensive package of electoral reforms which also includes a bill to establish a new Electoral commission, and a bill to provide a referendum reviewing the MMP voting system.

Justice Minister Simon Power is confident the bill will “establish a regime that is fair and transparent to all groups and individuals participating in this vital element of New Zealand’s democracy”.

Power says the government would like to see the bill enacted by December, in order to provide ample time for both political parties and the public to become familiar with any changes to the electoral system.

Green Party co-leader Metiria Turei has raised concerns over the absence of any restriction on spending for third parties in elections.

“The bill will rightly limit political party spending to help provide a level playing field—it doesn’t make sense not to also limit third-party spending. The lack of a third party cap creates a massive loophole.”

Turei has announced that as a result, the Green Party opposes the bill.

She says “Our democracy should not be up for sale to the highest bidder. We don’t want to end up like the US where ridiculous amounts of money are spent in election campaigns, and lobby groups can buy influence.”

Rahui Katene, the Maori Party’s Justice Spokesperson, says she is encouraged by “the commitment of the Minister of Justice to encourage wholesale support for the reforms, to ensure greater certainty and transparency in the conduct of the electoral process”.

Katene says, however, that the issue of “unethical advertising” needs to be addressed, to combat “the appalling way in which some parties and advertisers have used Maori as negative fodder during election campaigning”.

“We must never again return to the era where politicians gamble on national identity and threaten the unity that has been so desperately sought by pitching campaigns to create unnatural divisions between Iwi vs. Kiwi.”

Having passed its first reading, the bill will now be referred to the Electoral Legislation Committee, which has been established to review both this, and the Electoral Referendum Bill.

Power welcomes “the public participation during the select committee process”.

On 13 January this year, a group of Chinese internet users converged on Google’s Beijing headquarters bearing flowers and candles. Google had announced the day before that it would no longer comply with Chinese internet censorship laws—a decision which, the group suspected, would result in a ban on the popular search engine. Upon reaching Google headquarters, however, they were informed by a neighbourhood security guard that they would need to apply for a permit before laying their flowers on the company plaque. If they did not, they would be committing an “illegal flower tribute”, and would be liable for persecution.

Illegal flower tribute. Put together, those three words seem about as much of an oxymoron as “Microsoft Works”. Yet they also happen to epitomise the very same logic that is used to justify internet censorship. The act of censorship is defined as the examination of an information medium “for the purpose of suppressing parts deemed objectionable on moral, political, military, or other grounds”. When a government takes on this responsibility, it is effectively deciding what information should or should not be made available to its citizens. This is an immense power to wield and, to quote Superman, it can have a devastating effect when placed in the wrong hands.

So how does internet censorship affect people? How has internet censorship been employed by governments, and how have those affected managed to get around it? Is there an acceptable form of internet censorship? This article will address these questions by looking at three recent examples—Google China and Operation Aurora, the 2009 anti-government protests in Iran, and the Great Firewall of Australia.

China: Flower Tributes and Cyber Attacks

Google China has a controversial history. When it was founded in 2005, it announced that it would comply with China’s existing laws on internet censorship. It later justified this position by arguing that “while removing search results is inconsistent with Google’s mission, providing no information … is more inconsistent with our mission”. The fact that Google would come to hold 29 per cent of the search engine market share in China may also have influenced their decision.

The extent of internet censorship in China is substantial. “The Chinese government has undertaken to limit access to any content that might potentially undermine the state’s control or social stability,” writes the OpenNet Initiative.

“[It does so] by pursuing strict supervision of domestic media, delegated liability for online content providers, and increasingly, a propaganda approach to online debate and discussion.”

The Chinese government, according to OpenNet, censors anything that is considered to be “endangering national security and contradicting officially accepted political theory, conducting activities in the name of an illegal civil organization, or inciting illegal assemblies or gatherings that disturb social order”.

The type of material that is censored varies from the potentially subversive (such as searches on Tianamen Square, Falun Gong or the Dalai Lama) to the potentially offensive (such as criticisms of national leaders, distortions of Chinese culture, and material that is “sexually suggestive or provocative”).

Google China received heavy criticism for its policy of compliance with such strict censorship laws—collectively titled the ‘Golden Shield Project’—for so long. Therefore, it came as a shock when, in January 2010, Google suddenly announced that it was “no longer willing to continue censoring [their] results”.

“We will be discussing with the Chinese government the basis on which we could operate an unfiltered search engine within the law, if at all,” the announcement continued.

“We recognise that this may well mean having to shut down Google.cn, and potentially our offices in China.”

Even more surprising was what had led to the change of heart. “In mid-December, we detected a highly sophisticated and targeted attack on our corporate infrastructure originating from China that resulted in the theft of intellectual property from Google.”

Google believed that “a primary goal of the attackers was accessing the Gmail accounts of Chinese human rights activists”.

Operation Aurora, as the attack came to be named, had not only been directed at Google. It had begun as early as the middle of 2009, and had been directed at dozens of major companies around the world. Along with search engines, Aurora appeared to have targeted aeronautical firms like Northrop Grumman and antivirus developers like Symantec. McAfee concluded that the operation had been intended to steal “highly valuable intellectual property from its victims”.

So what does this extreme bout of cyberspace fisticuffs have to do with censorship in China? “Censorship, such as the blocking of websites, is fairly crude but effective when combined with targeted surveillance and attacks,” explains Nart Villeneuve, senior fellow at the Citizen Lab, Munk Centre for International Studies University of Toronto.

“The objective is to influence behaviour toward self-censorship, so that most will not actively seek out banned information of the means to bypass controls and access it.

“[This] nexus of censorship, surveillance and malware attacks … is the key to China’s information control policies.”

Iran: Social Networking and the Green Revolution

When the results of the June 2009 Presidential election in Iran were announced, many Iranians expressed disbelief. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, conservative fundamentalist and political firebrand, had been re-elected in a landslide, gathering almost twice the number of votes as his closest opponent, Mir-Houssein Mousavi. Almost immediately, supporters of Mousavi took to the streets, alleging widespread fraud and vote-rigging. This initial demonstration would escalate into a widespread protest movement called the ‘Green Revolution’, named after the colour adopted by protestors from Mousavi’s campaign.

The internet played a crucial role in the unrest. All internet service providers in Iran must go through a single government-managed gateway, providing the government with a single point of access for monitoring and filtering internet usage. This allowed the government to block access to all major foreign news outlets during and after the elections, as well as the websites of several opposition parties.

“The Internet censorship system in Iran is one of the most comprehensive and sophisticated in the world,” states OpenNet. “[It is] rooted in its constitution, which declares that ‘the media … must strictly refrain from diffusion and propagation of destructive and anti-Islamic practices’.”

“Efforts to control online speech by the Iranian government have relied primarily on large-scale internet filtering and the threat of targeted legal action,” continues OpenNet, adding that the government has a strong focus on developing its own web monitoring tools in order to reduce its dependency on Western software.

Despite the Iranian government’s attempts at censorship, the protestors made extensive use of social networking tools to get information out to the world. “Any democratic movement in a totalitarian state needs as much international support as it can get,” states Homy Lafayette, author of a blog titled ‘Iran News in English’.

“Hence, the choice of language I use for my blog. I want to influence, in my own humble way, international public opinion.”

Blogging in English became one of the most popular ways for Iranian protestors to bypass internet censorship due to the fact that censors targeted blogs written in Farsi. “I blogged for years at my Farsi weblog,” writes Jadi, author of ‘Inside Iran’, “but these days I’m filtered in my own country so I have to write here in English.”

Video sharing websites such as YouTube allowed for the direct uploading of amateur footage from the protests. The video showing the shooting of a protestor named Neda Agha-Soltan was later termed “the most widely witnessed death in human history”.

Twitter and Facebook proved invaluable for organising protests and disseminating information within Iran, with the former even postponing a scheduled network upgrade during the protests so as not to disrupt its service. “We have no national press coverage in Iran,” tweeted mousavi1388 during the protests, “[so] everyone should help spread Moussavi’s message. One Person = One Broadcaster.”

“Part of the efforts of those who oppose the regime is concentrated on overcoming state propaganda,” agreed Lafayette.

“It is ironic that someone in London is usually better-informed of what is truly occurring in Tehran, than someone in Shiraz.”

Lafayette indicates, however, that attempts to bypass internet censorship were merely part of an overall campaign by protestors to bypass government crackdowns. “In the first days of the post-election unrest, for example, I would argue that SMS messages were much more effective than websites,” he says.

“CDs and DVDs containing video files showing the regime’s brutality have been distributed around the country to people who do not necessarily have broadband or Internet know-how. In some rare cases, I know that important statements and speeches have been photocopied and distributed hand-to-hand on good old paper.”

Lafayette asserts that these methods “not only convey information, but also set the tone and maintain resistance.”

Australia: Where the bloody hell are ya, internet?

The debate over internet censorship in Australia had never been a particularly vocal one before December 2009. Up until then, censorship laws were comprised of a smorgasbord of state- and federal-level legislation aimed mostly at preventing unsuitable material from being made available to minors.

On 15 December 2009, however, the incumbent Labor government introduced a new piece of federal legislation titled ‘Measures to improve safety of the internet for families’. This legislation proposed to introduce, for the first time, a set of mandatory internet filters for all Internet Service Providers. The subsequent furore over the proposal led to it being dubbed the ‘Great Firewall of Australia’.

So what does the legislation propose, exactly? In the media release for the legislation, the Minister for Broadband, Communications and the Digital Economy Stephen Conroy stated that it was intended to block “child sex abuse content, bestiality, sexual violence including rape, and the detailed instruction of crime or drug use”, as well as subject matter related to terrorism. This material, collectively referred to as Refused Classification (RC) content, is “already illegal to distribute, sell or make available for hire … [in] films, computer games and publications.”

Upon first glance, Conroy’s proposal might seem fair—a measure aimed at applying the same standard to the internet that is applied to other communication media. However, the legislation has evoked intense opposition from both the public and from private organisations. “This plan will … waste millions of taxpayers’ funds in a bid to enforce a level of censorship that will set human rights in Australia back several decades,” argues the Digital Liberty Coalition (DLC).

“[It] will impact legal as well as illegal material.”

The DLC concern over the impact the legislation will have on legal material seemed to be confirmed by a leaked copy of the Australian Communications and Media Authority blacklist of Refused Classification sites. Among other innocuous websites, the list included the URL of a Queensland dentist, a tuckshop convener and a kennel operator.

“506 sites would be classified R18+ and X18+, which is legal to view in Australia but would be blocked for everyone under Labor’s mandatory censorship scheme,” wrote The Age.

Critics have also pointed out the lack of transparency in both the creation and ongoing maintenance of the blacklist. “This scheme was implemented without public consultation,” argues the DLC. “Even the advisory board for this scheme is closed-door and by invitation only … All minutes of meetings and information as to goings-on within this advisory panel have thus far been kept out of the eye of the public.”

Anti-censorship campaign group GetUp agrees. “Under the plan, the government can add any ‘unwanted’ site to a secret blacklist.”

They add that testing of internet filters demonstrates that they “will slow our internet by up to 87 per cent, make it more expensive, miss the vast majority of inappropriate content and accidentally block up to 1 in 12 legitimate sites.”

To censor or not to censor

When it comes to the examples of China and Iran, the case is fairly clear-cut—when you are suppressing domestic criticism and preventing the flow of news in and out of your own country, it’s a pretty fair bet to say you are abusing your power. But is there an acceptable level of internet censorship that can be agreed upon? The concept of ‘net neutrality’, which runs deep in most Western countries, would suggest otherwise.

The ‘Great Firewall of Australia’ presents an interesting case. On the one hand, the Labor government’s desire to prevent children from being exposed to material that almost everyone would consider offensive—child pornography, racism, bestiality and sexual violence—would seem to be a logical, even noble one. On the other hand, the mechanisms by which they are pursuing this goal—mandatory censorship, secret blacklists, inability to distinguish between what should and should not be blocked, and unproven technology that affects internet speed—are questionable, to say the least.

But if the idea of internet censorship is to be seriously called into question, should it not also logically extend to other forms of censorship? If it is considered unacceptable to sell Refused Classification material in movie or video game form, should it not also be unacceptable on the internet? Or, as the ‘net neutrality’ argument goes, is the internet a special case where the free flow of information—however corrupt and perverse at times—should not be interfered with? Alternatively, do ALL forms of censorship strip citizens of their personal liberties, as the libertarian argument goes? Does stripping individuals of the right to figure out for themselves what is and is not questionable material make them less well-rounded human beings?

At the very least, we should all be thankful that we live in a country where we can have these debates without being in danger of persecution. Nobody should ever have to fear reprisal for making an ‘illegal flower tribute’.

Artist: The Tallest Man on Earth
Album: The Wild Hunt
Label: Dead Oceans

I love Highway 61 Revisited as much as anyone, but my favourite Dylan would have to be the pre-electric freewheeling folkster. So when I heard the first few seconds of ‘The Garden’ from The Tallest Man On Earth’s first album Shallow Grave, I assumed I’d come across a long-lost demo that had just come to light. But this man is not Mr Zimmerman at all; he’s not even American, despite that faux-southern twang in his voice. This man is from Sweden. It may seem strange at first, and even appear to be a gimmick. Some might criticise The Wild Hunt as being derivative, but they’d be missing the point. Is originality the only thing of value in music? What about a great melody, musicianship and even greater lyrics?

Kristian Mattson (birth name) clearly works hard to cut the fat off his songs. While Dylan could be a little hit-and-miss with his genius (Outrage! Criticism of Bob Dylan!), The Wild Hunt‘s songs are carefully crafted and devoid of excess. Two albums in, and he has already created two modern folk classics filled with optimism and great stories.

What is the most surprising about Mattson is that he avoids the cringeworthy cheesiness that his music could potentially succumb to. A super-serious poet singing folk songs about heartache is enough to make some feel a little ill. But Mattson also sings of the desolate countryside of his home country, the changing seasons, faces remembered, loss, drunken nights and lessons learned in such an endearing way that it’s hard to fault him for being overly earnest.

Mattson is consistently excellent in constructing short pop folk songs with clear verses, bridges and choruses. Tight and brilliant folk, The Wild Hunt is simplicity at its best. It’s a relief to know that, no matter what studio gimmicks people use in their music in the current landscape, there is still room for an approach to the singer-songwriter cliché—a man, a guitar, great tunes—that manages to accomplish the difficult task of being both refreshing and completely compelling.

This action, on the part of the producers of the movie, comes in the wake of The Hurt Locker’s disappointing US$16 million takings in the United States, especially considering the film’s reported $15 million cost, and the fact the film won six Academy Awards, including Best Picture. The Hurt Locker is now relegated to the position of lowest-grossing Best Picture recipient of all time.

It is in the face of these attempts at punishing file-sharers in the US that New Zealand continues to review its digital copyright law with the Copyright (Infringing File Sharing) Amendment Bill, soon to go under review by Select Committee.

Section 92a: the original proposal

The original Section 92a amendment, scrapped by Prime Minister John Key in March this year, called for a three-strikes policy, which would see violators have their internet services disconnected in the case of continued infringements. This required the cooperation of Internet Service Providers (ISPs) in identifying and punishing offenders. As intellectual property expert John Katz QC explains in the May ’09 edition of Intellectual Property Journal, “Nobody who respects copyright and the creative inputs it protects could reasonably object to putting into place measures to prevent the avalanche of illegal downloads and the like, all of which impact heavily on creative industries.” However, he says “A solution such as s92A is a blunt instrument and shifts the policing from the owner of the copyright to the operator of the pipe through which the illegal activity is channeled—the (ISP) or similar utility.”

In addition to charging ISPs with policing their own customers, Katz explains that they would have also been forced to absorb any costs associated with the legislation: “The purpose of provisions such as s92A is to ensure that the problem can be laid off so that it becomes not the problem of the rights owner, but the problem of the ISP. This then means of course that the costs of compliance are those of the ISP and the costs of compliance will inevitably be passed on to ISP customers.”

This led TelstraClear, one of New Zealand’s largest ISPs, to refuse to back the disconnection of alleged file-sharers as outlined by that bill, which basically meant the law could not be effectively introduced as it required approval from all ISPs in order to see implementation, leading to its eventual retraction by the Prime Minister. Keith Davidson, then-chairman of InternetNZ, a non-profit organisation dedicated to protecting and promoting the internet in New Zealand, commented at the time: “Terminating an internet account was always a disproportionate response to copyright infringement, and to force ISPs and other organisations to be copyright judges and policemen was never an acceptable situation.”

Despite the failings of the original amendment, Matt Sumptor, a partner at the law firm Chapman Tripp and lecturer at the University of Auckland, also writing in the New Zealand Intellectual Property Journal, recognised that “The only way you can stop people ripping off works is for piracy to have predictable and unwelcome penalties for those on the wrong side of the law.

“If there is one unifying policy initiative in copyright law, it is the need to confront and address the piracy problem on the digital frontier.”

Cue Commerce Minister Simon Power and the 2010 Copyright (Infringing File Sharing) Amendment Bill.

Section 92a: revamped

While there are a number of similarities to the original proposed legislation, Power’s bill does differ significantly in the requirements imposed upon ISPs. The new bill would see a three-notice policy, similar to the original three strikes, which Power says is to “educate and warn file-sharers that unauthorised sharing of copyright works is illegal”. Rights holders have the ability to request ISPs to issue these infringement notices to offenders; the first informing the user that infringement has occurred, and the second and third acting as repeat warnings. If an offender continues to infringe, the rights holder can then seek a penalty at the Copyright Tribunal for up to NZ$15,000, relative to the damage caused.

The bill also includes a provision that would see the suspension of internet accounts for up to six months, but it outlines that suspension will be processed by the courts in order to ensure both parties are heard, and the action will only be taken in cases of serious infringement.

The crucial difference here is that ISPs are only required to issue infringement notices due to their holding access of account holders’ personal information, removing the burden of having to negotiate process and penalties with rights holders.

While InternetNZ has stated that they welcome the bill, seeing it as a step forward, they have still raised a number of concerns, especially with regard to the suspension of accounts.

Jordan Carter, InternetNZ’s policy director, says “InternetNZ opposes account suspension as a remedy. It is both disproportionate, in that the penalty is too severe given the activity, and futile given that the public won’t put up with no net but will instead get a new account with their ISP or another.”

Carter has said that InternetNZ will argue against the account suspension provision in the select committee process, as well as suggesting “the notice system should simply be about notices going to alleged infringers, and giving them the right to reply back to the alleging rights holder”.

Furthermore, Carter believes some “technical changes” need to be made before implementation. “The definition of ‘ISP’ needs to be clarified; there are some details about how the notices process will work that could be clarified. There is also the need to clearly set out what it means to ‘suspend’ an internet account. The legislation should not create a ‘strict liability offences’ for account holders.”

The Creative Freedom Foundation has also raised concerns over the proposed punitive measures. Bronwyn Holloway-Smith, Director of the Foundation explains, “We’re strongly against internet termination as a penalty, and the lack of detail defining the scale of fines, among other things. We’ve always been opposed to the inclusion of internet termination as punishment. Due to New Zealand’s geographical isolation, the internet is a vital tool for artists to connect to the rest of the world—to organise international exhibitions, plan tours, or send movie files overseas for time-critical post-production work.”

Furthermore, Holloway-Smith questions the enormity of the proposed $15,000 fines. “We initially suggested a $1000 limit on fines but they’ve gone for $15,000 to match the Disputes Tribunal and, really, we think that’s excessive. We have no information on whether that limit will be reached for one movie or 1000 movies, so we don’t know if the fines will be reasonable.”

So… can file sharing actually be stopped?

Carter believes that “The educative side of sending notices will have an effect, and it should reduce file sharing. Many people just don’t know that it is illegal, or if they do, they assume nobody knows they are doing it. Receiving a notice will make it clear that their assumption is wrong on both counts. Overseas experience points to considerable reductions when notices begin.”

The scope of the effectiveness has to be questioned, however. In an interview with Salient earlier this year, Katz said, “Quite frankly, whatever steps are ultimately enacted I cannot see that it will bring an end to the problem of illegal file sharing. It may well help but I think the problem is too wide-spread and too enormous for there to be a truly effective 100% catch-all solution.”

Google trends appear to back this up, illustrating that while some file-sharing sites have experienced significant drops in usage, for the most part there has been a steady increase in usage trends worldwide despite the introduction of laws designed to deter users, and legal actions such as those being taken in The Hurt Locker case.

While we will have to wait and see whether legislation in New Zealand, be it the current bill or some future incarnation, will have any effect on deterring Kiwi offenders, Carter speculates that “The better response is to develop new models for the commercialisation of audio and AV content. Rights holders should be focused on making stuff available to the public in a fast, user-friendly and affordable way.”

Holloway-Smith agrees. “Many studies have shown that the primary cause of illicit file sharing is unsatisfied customers, so ultimately the business models need to change. The Hurt Locker was released in US theatres on 26 June 2009, and on DVD on 12 January 2010. However, the movie wasn’t available in New Zealand when it was nominated for the Oscars, or even when it won the Oscar. In fact, it took another month to be released to cinemas in New Zealand and we’re still waiting for the legal download.”

She adds, “Movie companies are behaving like it’s 1995, with staggered international and regional cinema releases followed by DVD/Blu-Ray releases, and months or years later legal downloads are offered, if at all. For a globally connected world that makes no sense, and so—when it comes to the hysterical claims of millions of dollars of lost sales from piracy—we’ve got to ask whether these supposed lost sales have actually occurred when these businesses fail to fulfill consumer demand.”

InternetNZ will be hosting seminars at the end of the month aimed at assisting submissions to the Select Committee. These seminars will “provide for sharing of information and enable critical analysis of the Bill”, and will be held at the Intercontinental Hotel in Wellington on 25 May, and at the Aotea Centre in Auckland on the 26 May, both running from 9am-1pm. The Creative Freedom Foundation’s website creativefreedom.org.nz will also offer a full analysis of the proposal in the coming weeks. Select Committee submissions are due on 17 June.

YAY! The end of trimester is sooooo close! So close you can taste it! Mine tastes like Pimms and lemonade, mixed with some Grey’s Anatomy and a good book. Can’t wait!

You can tell its end of trimester time. People crammed into the library, waiting an hour for the computer, people still in the cyber commons at 2am in the morning (I know!). Students are finishing off their essays and beginning study for exams. People running around panicked because they realise they should have done their assigned readings during the trimester instead of just before their exams.

To commemorate the end of the trimester (how many times have I said that now? Can you tell that I’m excited?!?) I have decided to write a ‘Top 10 tips for study’, which will probably be of no use to you, but the good intention is there.

1. Do you readings. Simple, I know, but commonly not done
2. Language students should go check out the Language Learning Center. They have heaps of resources to take advantage of
3. If you are having some major trouble contact Student Learning Support Services or Te Pūtahi Atawhai, they will be able to help you out
4. Draw mind maps. Go crazy, use highlighters and crayons! An easy way to remember lots of information
5. Don’t get drunk/stoned on the day of an exam. It does not appear to help you remember things
6. Remember to take a break from studying every hour or so. Go for a walk around the block, do some star jumps, run up and down Mount Street a few times
7. Facebook has proven, the world over, to be very unhelpful when studying
8. Eat some good kai. As tempting as it is to quick, shit food, its not good for your body. Good, healthy food will help you keep on top of your workload
9. Be confident. Even if you are freaking out, walking into an exam confident is likely to improve your grade!

And finally;

10. If all else fails look to Dumbledore for knowledge. The man is pretty smart.

So good enjoy the last two weeks of trimester and good luck with your exams. No doubt I’ll see a few of you in the cyber commons over the next few weeks.

May the force be with you, always.

Victoria University’s Kelburn Campus quad has been described as “a bit shit” in an official report released last week.


The report, released by the national Cool Campus Review Board (NZCCRB), followed a 12-month study into the quality of university campuses around New Zealand. 


The NZCCRB listed Victoria University as having New Zealand’s least “Cool Campus”.


“There was just no spirit, no vibe and certainly no funk… We’d almost go as far as labelling it Un-Cool.”


The study uses an official rating guide in order to produce its annual report, which includes the presence of hacky-sack circles and foolish pranks as indicators of a Cool Campus.


Students with dreadlocks and sing-along circles were also recognised as factors that could contribute to the funk and cool levels of a campus. 


The NZCCRB pointed to the Kelburn quad as particularly indicative of Victoria’s failings as a Cool Campus.


“We expected the quad to be alive with culture and humming with conversation—a veritable hive of activity, but we couldn’t actually find any students to interview.


“A tumbleweed of hair, cigarette butts and used plasters bouncing past was the most activity we encountered during our two weeks at the Wellington campus… It was just all a bit shit.”


Students spoken to by Salient generally agreed with the findings of the report.


“I came to uni and thought it’d be all rad and I’d just chillax with the boys. But there’s nowhere to chillax. Not cool eh, just not cool.”


The NZCCRB provided the university with a list of suggestions on how to improve Victoria’s cool factor, including playing “cool beats” and commissioning some “funky graffiti art”. 


The university was unavailable for comment.

OMG!
REVIEWS!

The Famous History of Sir Thomas Wyatt
Lullaby Jock
The Nero Show
Improv Divas
Class Comedians
Dave Wiggans is Googling God

Dave Wiggans is an American who lives in Auckland. He’s also a Christian. Which is fine, I guess. I’m really not. And I couldn’t help but wonder going into his show Googling God how much that would affect my enjoyment. I shouldn’t really have worried. Wiggans, apart from being a very consumate showman, has done quite a good job of dealing with religion as subject without directly excluding any part of his potential audience. I say “quite a good job” because, well, his audience is still rather clearly a God-hugging one and he does pander that way a bit. Which is totally okay. How flippantly he occasionally deals the more extreme elements of religion (godhatesfags.com) isn’t so okay, though it must be stressed he comes out against such movements. This man knows his market and his sell-out season can only attest to his audiences reverence.

Wiggans is simply a funny guy. It’s real easy to enjoy the time you spend with him. I was never bored during the show. But my one major issue with the show was by its very nature, it reeked of other people’s laughs. Wiggans takes us on a tour of the internet results he found while googling God and as such, the show quickly resolves itself into him pointing out funny things he found online and occasionally forgetting to really add a joke to it. He needs to do just a little more than point his finger at other people’s funny.

Wed 12 – Sat 15 May / 8pm / BATS

Artist: Wolf Parade
Album: Expo 86
Label: Sub Pop

Wolf Parade’s new album has been described on Sub Pop’s site as sounding “sort of like INXS, but also, and mostly, not like INXS at all”. Which I quite like.

Expo 86 is the Montreal outfit’s third album released on Sub Pop. It was recorded in a fairly short amount of time, marking the end of a one-year hiatus, with writing starting in late October/November 2009. The theory behind their hiatus was that by the time they reconvened they would all be creatively recharged and brimming with ideas. And from the sound of it, they were right.

There’s a lot going on in Expo 86. It’s hard to believe that such a full fleshed out sound was churned out by just four members. Each song is overflowing with melody as guitars, synths and beats are layered up and tightly packed in. Rather than giving it a chaotic unsettling feel, all the elements come together harmoniously, bringing density and richness to the album.

Though I haven’t always been completely sold on Wolf Parade’s vocal stylings, this album did win me over. There’s a sense that the vocals are used as an additional instrument, rather than just a vehicle for melody and lyrics, and it works well with the exuberant musical arrangements.

While the album is smooth and well put together, it doesn’t feel over-produced. There’s a real raw, live quality that Wolf Parade have managed to maintain on the album. Upon investigation I found that this is due to the album being recorded largely live, with very few overdubs. This tactic really complements their self-professed aesthetic of maximalism. The absence of polishing lends itself to the sincerity of the songs and the album’s voluptuous sound.

Expo 86 is an unrelenting ride from start to finish, completely devoid of hollow or boring moments. Maintaining a swift, upbeat pace, it’s a seriously fun and charming album.

Campus Security has become concerned over the number of iPods and laptop computers being reported stolen from all campuses. Most of these thefts are preventable by following some simple rules:

• Wherever you are studying, be it libraries, open spaces or computer labs do not leave these items unattended even for a minute.
• If you are using lockers to store valuable items please make sure you re-lock your locker every time you use it.

Students who work out of offices have to take particular note

• Do not leave your office unlocked while not occupied, even for a short time (coffee or printing)
• Make sure that you secure valuable items in a locked secure place while not working in your office space.

Security encourages you to report any incident or loss of property. Contact us on the emergency line 8888 or at the Security Office, Cotton Street.t

Thankyou
Bryan Ivamy
Supervisor Security

Toastmasters!

Wednesdays 12-1pm, Meeting Room 1, Student Union Building

Because communication isn’t optional, Toastmasters is a club dedicated to helping people practice public speaking in a fun and supportive environment.

Everyone – no matter what your current public speaking ability – is welcome. Come along and see what Toastmasters is all about.

Visit us online at vicuni.freetoasthost.info

Sunday Football

The search is on to find players for a new Under 21 team to compete in the Wellington Football U21 League! This opportunity is open to all interested players, from recent school leavers through to those 21 years old. This is your chance to meet new people and take part in a sport growing in popularity. We need players who are able to commit to weekly matches, played on Sundays, usually at 11am. This means you can play even if you are already in a Saturday team! Contact WellingtonU21s@gmail.com ASAP to enquire.

Wellington Youth Choir Concert

Want to swap study for swing?? Think singers are major babes? Wellington Youth Choir invites you to an American themed concert with pieces ranging from the Star Spangled Banner and Disney to gospel music and jazz!! Conducted by Isaac Stone, with solo, group and choral works.

Tuesday 8 June, 7pm. Queen Margaret College, Thorndon.

Student tickets $5 on the door. See you there!

Movie Geeks—Free movies club

Keen for a free movie? Come join us every Monday night between 5.30 -8.00pm at Student Union Hall.
Everyone is welcome and bring all your friends along!!

Light refreshments provided

Donations are also very appreciated.

This week screening is the “Black Dynamite”
For more information:
Email: moviegeeks.vuw@gmail.com

Coach Junior Football

This is your opportunity to get involved with Football in World Cup year! Waterside Karori Junior Football is looking for motivated, reliable and knowledgeable people to join their Coaches Academy. The Academy provides professional coaching training, development and support to enable you to provide coaching services to junior teams (aged 5 to 13). This is a fantastic opportunity to develop your organisational, communication and leadership skills, and to gain recognised qualifications. Help develop the sport you love, make some money and have heaps of fun. Contact juniors@wkafc.org.nz to get involved!

NEW! Student AA Meeting

Support and Anonymity Guaranteed!
Every Tuesday, 2PM
Meeting Room One of the Student Union Building
email: aameetingstudent@gmail.com

Flatmate Notice

Needing a super Flatmate!

Move in Date: 24th June

To share a small HOME in Wadestown with 2nd yr, 25 yr old Female and one awesome cat.

$115 pw + $35 pw for phone, internet and power

Looking for female, 20s, cruizy, creative and fun,

This is more of a home situation then flat, so looking for the right person!

Call/Txt 021975192

Careers and Jobs

CAREERHUB – ONE STOP SHOP to JOBS: Part time, Full time, Summer Internships, Voluntary Work. Register NOW! http://careerhub.victoria.ac.nz. Login using your Student Computing Login account.

Want to have your CV checked?

Scared of interviews?

Need a job? Summer work? Part time? Full time? Work experience?

Unsure of what to do with your degree?

…Time to visit Vic Careers or book an appointment with a Careers Consultant

Recruitment starts now! Check details on CareerHub: http://careerhub.victoria.ac.nz

Graduate Recruitment 2011 / Summer Internships 2010/11 – applications closing dates:
PKF Martin Jarvie 28 May
Orica 28 May
Unilever28 May
Honeywell 30 May
Walt Disney World 31 May
Transfield Worley 2 June
Aurecon New Zealand 2 June
Frucor 4 June
Contact 6 June
Fonterra (Science) 8 June
Mainfreight 9 June
Intergen 18 June

Queries?

Visit Vic Careers at 14 Kelburn Parade, 463-5393, careers-service@vuw.ac.nz

Running Rivers Really Rules

With winter rains coming, Vics kayak club is getting ready to go mental.

Come have a go and learn some basics like rolling at freyberg pool thursday nights at 830 and check out www.vickayakers.org

Rad as!

COMPUTER and LAPTOP REPAIR and SERVICE

Need Computer Help? I can Fix / Repair / Service / Network / Backup / Install or Upgrade your Laptop or PC. I can help with Wireless / Broadband / Training and anything computer related.

I’m located nearby at top of the Cable Car near the Met Office building or I can pickup and drop off work at Vic and am very affordable at $70/hour.

Check me out atwww.compguy.co.nzor email me on info@compguy.co.nz or call /txt Franz on 499 0098 / 021 067 3750.

The Human FM Clothing Swap

Bring in your clothes to swap on Wednesday 26th May, come back for swapping on Thursday 27th May, from 9:30am.Clothes to be dropped at Ramsey House, 8 Kelburn Parade from 9am (Wed 28th May Drop off clothing @ 8 Kelburn Parade from 9am). Looking for quality 2nd hand: t-shirts, knits, cardis, jeans, pants, accesories, bags… no shoes or undies, thanks. All left over clothes and proceeds raised will go to Wellington City Mission. For further info email studio@humanfm.co.nz

The Room – Roof Scene : Oh Hi Mark

The Room – Full Length Trailer

The other day, I perused an internet forum, as I am wont to do. On this forum, a discussion was being had on the nature of the brouhaha surrounding the film The Room. For those unfamiliar with Tommy Wiseau’s 2003 film, The Room tells the tale of Tommy Johnny (played by Wiseau), a man whose relationship with his ‘beautiful’ girlfriend Lisa is destroyed by the web of lies and deceit she weaves out of sheer boredom. Billed erroneously as a film “with the passion of Tennessee Williams”, it cost $7 million to make and shows absolutely none of it, bearing the production values and acting of a high school drama production. It’s but the latest in a long line of abysmal films made by people with the talent of a muskrat and the ego of a muskrat high on paint fumes.

The Room’s following, however, is the kind of thing that only comes along once in a bad moon. After making less than $2000 in its initial theatrical run, it grew into a sensation when Wiseau, buoyed by numerous emails thanking him for the film, began screening it once a month at a theatre in Los Angeles. Rituals began—spoon throwing, football throwing, insult throwing—and the cult slowly grew to the gargantuan proportions that exist today. The Room’s popularity has seen it played as an April Fool’s joke for the last two years on Comedy Central’s Adult Swim; Veronica Mars had an extended scene in one episode discussing the film; Alec Baldwin, Kristen Bell and Frank Black count themselves as fans. It is a cultural phenomenon, as pervasive as Tommy Wiseau’s pock-marked arse in the film’s myriad sex scenes and as addictive as the drugs Denny may or may not have purchased at one point during the film.

In the aforementioned serious internet discussion, one fellow referred to his dissatisfaction with the following surrounding The Room, calling it “forced”, and musing that people became part of it “because it was expected of them”. Naturally, I disagree, but the conversation that arose from this curmudgeon’s theorising gave rise to a consideration I hadn’t, um, considered. Namely—what makes us fall for a bad film? What is it that draws us inextricably to these creations, and, perhaps more importantly, what makes us choose these bad films? There’s plenty of awful cinema out there, but what is it that draws us to films like Plan 9 From Outer Space or The Room instead of the likes of Space Mutiny or The Happening?

The most obvious answer, on the face of it, is hubris. Many of the films that gain their popularity for being awfully brilliant are loaded with a misplaced self-importance or conviction in the necessity of their creation. The Room’s “passion of Tennessee Williams” has long overridden Wiseau’s attempts to retcon the film’s intent by saying it’s a black comedy; Plan 9 and other Ed Wood films are full of a sincerity that’s hard to shake; Neil LaBute’s remake of The Wicker Man is 100% all the way serious, misogyny and bear suits and bees and all, something validated by his earnest, borderline-pretentious director’s commentary on the DVD. We seem to find amusement in the delusions of others, laughing uncontrollably at just how completely inept they are at realising their own ambitions. It’s the cinematic equivalent of falling into a sewer and dying, as opposed to the cinematic equivalent of a papercut (which is arguably the trap The Happening and Snakes on a Plane fell into—there wasn’t enough of a fall).

However, evidence points to plenty of arrogant sons-of-bitches making bad films and not getting the following that others do. Perhaps, then, it’s less hubris and more a general sincerity. These people don’t believe they’ve made bad films, nor are they so egotistic as to claim their films are the best ever made; they’ve struck a middle ground between self-importance and honest passion. Ed Wood was utterly convinced that he was an auteur making films that spoke to people; Wiseau’s attempts to ‘fix’ the public’s perceptions of his films fail so emphatically that one can’t help but see how serious he once was; LaBute’s belief that his Wicker Man remake was a good film is solidified by the commentary and interviews in which he has been quoted as saying, among other things, that “All the good bits and none of the music” of the original were retained in his film. In comparison, David R. Ellis (Snakes on a Plane) and Joseph Kahn (Torque) were very much aware that what they were creating was over-the-top and comedic; and M. Night Shyamalan’s exceptional arrogance meant that audiences turned off The Happening and never embraced it in quite the same way they embraced The Room or Plan 9.

On top of that, however, there’s a key element which, when combined with the intentions of the creator, makes these cult films theoretically irresistible—how ridiculous the films actually are. Heightened drama, absurd stunts, bizarre characterisations, over-the-top acting, unnatural and ludicrous dialogue: all these factor into how we assess these films. While films like Plan 9 and The Room may be the cinematic equivalent of falling down a sewer and dying, it’s how fast they fall, how deep the drop is, and what they hit on the way down that makes it even better. The Happening may be hilarious, but a genuinely interesting conceit and flourishes that hint at competence wear down its acceptability as a truly awful masterpiece; in contrast, The Room never once hints at anything above idiocy. It is a film where a man can dry-hump a red dress and be presented as tragic. It is a film where a woman can mention she has breast cancer and never, ever have it brought up again in the narrative. It is a film where people throw footballs a metre between each other while wearing tuxedos. It’s lovably incompetent, and that, combined with the director’s genuine belief that he’s saying something that needs to be said, makes it spectacular.

That’s why we watch bad films and love them, I think. Not because it’s expected of us. But because they’re too ridiculous and too honest to deserve otherwise.

Having taken ENGL114, I can tell you with considerable expertise that this is a gothic novel, and it epitomises everything about the genre—the unreliable narrator, the vulnerable female fighting supernatural forces, and the potential for misinterpretation at every corner.

Set in 1891, Florence and Giles is the story of 12-year-old Florence and her half brother Giles, both orphans and left to grow up in seclusion at an austere New England mansion. Forbidden education by her (guardian) uncle, Florence teaches herself to read and prostitutes her literacy by devouring anything she can get her hands on during secret visits to the mansion’s library. She and Giles have a swell old time running wild and whatnot, until their uncle decides the time is right to install a governess, who promptly drowns in an eerie, almost unexplained accident. Her replacement is Miss Taylor, a mysterious woman who, according to Florence, inhabits mirrors, walks on water, and plans to kidnap Giles, who she’s developed a boa constrictor-like attachment to.

There’s something sinister going on and it isn’t just The Turn of the Screw salutations. Florence herself is one of life’s straight talkers. She comes off as a sort of mischievous Hermione Granger, all precocious and shit, but like any neglected child she’s a little too clever for her own good, and as it turns out, everyone else is good too.

Beware her idiosyncratic writing style—as narrator Florence has us all at her mercy and the entire story is seasoned with made-up words that turn nouns in to verbs (case in point: “I downstairsed quick”). The book is actually quite good, beginning as a nineteenth century Nancy Drew story and ending as a velveteen warning that even sweet orphaned kids can be evil masterminds.

There is nothing like the fresh mist of youth, the raw juice pulp of the young and new. Class Comedians puts a bunch of high-schoolers through a crash course in funny, taught by some of the leading lights of the Aotearoa giggle biz. They all work towards a public showing, and if said showing is anything to go by, this system works.

Sure, some of them were more nerves than flesh, several drying on stage totally, but they never let that get on top of them. What has really clearly been instilled in all of them is a good sense of poise and control—the sheer attitute and grit that it takes to stare down an audience with little more than a mic and your brain is present in all these little laughter ducklings.

Bea Joblin stole the show with a meticulously pitched and performed act about explaining the internet to her parents. A fine five minutes of comedy that would stand solid up there with any professional. Michael Smol’s suave puns and delightful subversion also rather tickled this here reviewer.

But, oh, to pick favourites seems unfair, as all seven of these spritely proto-comedians had something to give, and if they keep growing and developing there is a lot to look forward to in Wellington’s comedy future.

Sat 15 May / 3pm / San Francisco Bathhouse

Geoff Stahl, a lecturer in advertising and sub-cultures in the Media Studies department at Victoria University, says that the internet is a “triangulation of market, audience and participant”. Which is a fantastic way of saying that at times we are targeted as a seller’s focus point, sometimes we sit back and watch stuff go on in front of us, and sometimes people watch us do our thing. Kind of like the real world. So what’s the difference between the internet and the real world?

We are all very aware of the massive scale of the internet, so perhaps it would be easiest to indulge in the petty vice of metaphor to gain insight. Bear me with me, if you will.

The Looking Glass

The internet, as mentioned above, is a repository for the brain farts of the most privileged people on earth. At some point or another, each person on the internet has decided, this is the time for me to leave a little piece of myself in the public domain. You can find it there if you’re willing to look hard enough. So it is essentially the world, as it relates to the privileged few. To dip into metaphor, the internet is a lot like the Wild West was a little over one hundred years ago. There are a few laws in place, but essentially you can get away with anything until you commit an act in a jurisdiction where it would be deemed inappropriate or illegal.

The internet is the last truly free ideological domain. It is a place for the learned and the intelligent to converse, share, idealise and realise. We are without restriction and can remake ourselves to be anything we want. We can research and discover the highest flights of intellect that mankind has reached. We can sate our deepest, darkest and most depraved desires. There is a place for us to revel in our most fringe interests and hobbies. The internet brings us, intellectually at least, closer to those who we never imagined were just like us. Stahl refers to this idea as “…an evolved ethos stemming from a commitment to a collective. It also, in some ways, rests on an idea of exclusivity.”

Each of these communities is, online, called a forum. Often there are numerous forums devoted to the same subject or the same collective interest. Within a forum there are numerous threads, each dealing with its own specific area of esoteric debate. Within these there are often sub-threads. Let’s think about it like this:

Each forum is a town. A town is made up of a number of different kinds of buildings. So the main part of the forum is going to be the town hall. Then you have the church, the store, the school and various specialty businesses. In order, you generally have a thread about the canon (or accepted truth of a matter), a thread about merch, collectibles or stuff associated with your interest that you can purchase, a thread for those who are new to the interest or who are looking to expand on their knowledge base, and then a whole bunch of other threads about everything else associated with the focus or focii of this town. Sorry, forum. Some of them might actually have nothing to do with the focii, they just happen to be things that like-minded people (in one area) want to discuss among themselves.

The players in this little farce

There is an enormous misconception surrounding people on the internet. Of course it’s funny to make jokes about how you were chatting to this super hot chick from just down the road and she suggested you meet up. So you toddle down to the carpark outside Pak’n’Save and wait, wearing the red hat and polka dot scarf you said you would. Suddenly a dirty grey panel van pulls up next to you with “Free Candy” poorly hand-painted on the side and a shadowy pot-bellied figure mutters through the open window, “Hey you going my way? I was just talking to you online.” Yeah don’t bother lying, everyone has a story like that.

It is imagined that somehow the internet allows you to be less authentic than you are in real life. But this is fundamentally not true. Unless you are some sort of psychopath, you constantly pretend things about yourself. Stahl sums it up well: “Real life is not necessarily more authentic than online life. We are constantly performing a version of ourselves that is situationally appropriate.” That pretty much says it all. You might not be pretending to be a 14-year-old girl when in fact you’re a 23-year-old guy, but you’re definitely pretending to like your boss even when you’d rather choke the life out of them with your bare hands. Or when you pretend to be civil with your boyfriend’s dropkick mates when you’d rather cuss them out and smack them in the head with the ugly fry-pan you got given by that weird chick who used to live in your hall of residence, but now lives in a possession-free commune.

All the internet does is lift the restraints of what we are physically capable of dissembling. As long as you can keep a decent thread of continuity running through your stream of lies, no one will ever be any the wiser. Or maybe you’re just letting loose the beast that dwells deep in your chest, but no one sees it IRL (in real life).

So where does this fit into our carefully crafted metaphor? In the glory days of the Wild West there was relatively little communication between the towns. So it was pretty easy to completely change your identity between towns and ride into a new one being someone utterly different. Of course it’s a little more than that on the internet, but for the purposes of this particular metaphor it will suffice.

The existential paradox

Of course into every life must fall a little rain, and in every good Western myth there is a bad guy. The spectre of privacy invasion looms large on the horizon here. Let’s have a look at a case study. At the moment the single most popular community site on the internet would arguably be Facebook. It exploded across the public consciousness, sweeping with it a whole new way of interacting. It also made the seven degrees of Kevin Bacon game a whole bunch easier ’cause suddenly you could see exactly how many steps removed you were from anyone else. So why is Facebook the villain of the piece, or at least the villain of this particular case study?

It has become more and more apparent in recent months that there are some glaring flaws in the privacy settings on Facebook. Not only that, there are some truly disturbing inadequacies in the terms and conditions of the Facebook user agreement. It turns out that none of the information that you upload onto Facebook actually belongs to you once it is uploaded. It becomes the sole property of that nebulous entity called Facebook. “But!” I hear you cry, “What’s so nebulous about Facebook? What can I possibly have to lose here?” A fair question indeed, intrepid user. It turns out that Mark Zuckerberg, the former Harvard student who graced us with his system, was perhaps a little less than forthcoming with his intentions. In documents very recently brought to light, he outlines his laissez-faire attitude towards the privacy concerns of the users of Facebook. This instant messenger conversation from 2004 highlights this particularly disturbing facet of this informational powerhouse’s personality with alacrity:

Zuckerberg: Yeah so if you ever need info about anyone at Harvard

Zuckerberg: Just ask.

Zuckerberg: I have over 4,000 emails, pictures, addresses, SNS

[Redacted Friend's Name]: What? How’d you manage that one?

Zuckerberg: People just submitted it.

Zuckerberg: I don’t know why.

Zuckerberg: They “trust me”

Zuckerberg: Dumb fucks.

An incredibly cavalier and distressing viewpoint from a man who runs a website that has somewhere in the region of 450 million users. I think the character of villain quite nicely fits Mr Zuckerberg in this particular metaphor.

We are anon and we are legion

Before you start tearing your clothes and covering your heads with ash, weeping and mourning for your lost privacy, we should first examine the curious heroes of our metaphor. Oddly enough, and as is so often the case, we find them where we would least suspect. The heroes of the internet are the oft-spoken-of but little-understood trolls. Their community exists within a forum called 4chan. In the main, the surface of 4chan and the sub-forum /b/ seems to be little more than degrading bigoted and inflammatory rhetoric. It sets out to instantly offend those with tender sensibilities and to hound the hypocrite and the outspoken status quo supporter. But with a little patience and some careful digging it is possible to begin to understand a little more of the denizens of this seemingly lawless town. Perhaps it is best to let them speak for themselves on the matter of their own psychology:

“Behold, a public Bulletin Board, Built of Both Brilliance and Barbarity By Bastards with Boners. This Bastion, no mere Bulwark of Boredom, is a Brutal Barrage of Blistering Bullshit, Barely Benevolent…But Behind the Bigotry and Boobs, Beyond the Bitter Broadcasts of Bragging Buffoons; here be the Body Politic. A Brotherhood of Blasphemy, Blessed with more Balls than Brains, Battling the Bland, the Bogus, the Benign. Bedlam? Bring it on.”

Within this touchingly poetic self-assessment of their own mentality lies a fundamental truth. While to all intents and purposes they appear to have only their own interests at heart, they do in fact have a decidedly rigid code of ethics. They wreak havoc on systems that they deem to be fundamentally imbalanced or unfair. When roused by an example or expression of injustice they take it upon themselves to rectify the situation. When this wrath is brought to bear, the sheer weight of numbers and varied areas of interests among the members ensures that most problems are resolved swiftly, in vengefully vigilante-esque fashion.

So within our metaphor they take the role of the group of unknown gunmen riding only for justice in its most primary of forms—the most fascinating thing about the Anon movement, for that is how they refer to themselves. Which is, in itself, a fascinating insight into their psychology, for it ensures that no one member can be found or singled out to be more important or above the rest. But as I was saying, the most interesting thing is that every time they exploit a flaw, they scrupulously document in a publicly accessible database. Every time they find a weakness in a website or seek to wreak havoc on a chain of stores that have unethical employment standards, they document every step of the process. This puts them in an entirely separate class from run-of-the-mill troublemakers and mischief seekers. But the essential fact remains that they work for the benefit of people rather than institutions.

All good things must come to an end

So there it stands. An examination of the internet through metaphor and discourse. It’s still not a friendly place to go, but interesting places are rarely completely safe. I have no doubt that for the most part you will continue on in the vein you have already, by perusing Facebook and occasionally swooping through Google to do some last-minute revision. But in the words of many, many generations of hard-toiling prospectors: “There’s gold in them there hills.” All that remains is for you to summon your courage and find it. And rest assured, if it all becomes too much for you and you find yourself at the mercy of the wicked denizens of the internet, if you seek honestly and fairly, there will be those who will help you.

Best of luck. It’s a wild frontier out there.

Literature lovers have a rare chance to hear from two master American writers―one the “godfather” of creative non-fiction, the other, an acclaimed author with a penchant for dark subject matter.

Victoria University’s International Institute of Modern Letters (IIML) is hosting US writers David Vann and Lee Gutkind for master classes in its creative writing course.

The pair is also giving free public talks at City Gallery Wellington on 26 May and 3 June respectively.

IIML Lecturer Chris Price says both writers are expert practitioners of creative non-fiction―dramatic, true stories that use scene, dialogue and other techniques usually employed by fiction writers―and their visit is a treat for fans of the genre.

“The readership for creative non-fiction has challenged and even overtaken that for fiction in recent years, and these writers are expert in negotiating the blurred and sometimes controversial territory between the two genres.”

Tales from the dark side of life―David Vann

US writer David Vann is best known for Legend of a Suicide, a remarkable book of stories set around his father’s suicide. It has been named in numerous Best Books of the Year lists in the UK, US and Australia, won a host of awards and been praised as “an American Classic” (The Sunday Times).

Vann has also written two other memoirs connected with his disastrous adventures as a sailor.

More recently, his account of the Northern University of Illinois shooter, Steven Kazmierczak, who killed five students, won the 2009 AWP Non-Fiction Prize. His next novel, Caribou Island, will be published next year.

He is an Assistant Professor of English at University of San Francisco where he teaches creative non-fiction and fiction.

What: Legend of a Suicide: David Vann’s autobiographical fiction

When: 6-7pm, Wednesday, 26 May 2010


Where: City Gallery Wellington (access to this event is via the Gallery’s Harris Street entrance)



The Godfather of creative non-fiction―Lee Gutkind

Lee Gutkind is widely known as the ‘godfather of creative non-fiction’. He has produced works ranging from memoir to books dealing with aspects of history, politics, sport, the arts and sciences and more.

He is the founding editor of Creative Nonfiction magazine and prize-winning author or editor of more than a dozen books, the most recent of which is Almost Human: Making Robots Think. His forthcoming book is a memoir, Truckin’ with Sam, co-written with his son.

Gutkind will appear in conversation with the IIML’s Creative Non-fiction workshop leader Harry Ricketts at City Gallery Wellington on 3 June.

What: In Fact: Lee Gutkind and the rise of Creative Nonfiction

When: 6-7pm, Thursday, 3 June 2010


Where: City Gallery Wellington

The City Gallery events are free and open to the public. Early arrival is recommended to secure a place.

For More Information visit: 
http://www.victoria.ac.nz/modernletters/about/events/international-guest-writers.aspx

If there is one thing to be said about The Nero Show it is that it is beautiful. The design is deliciously immaculate. John Hodgkin’s set of a plush decadent palace dotted with comfy chairs, video monitors and a rather entrancing wood-fire by way of a wall-mounted TV screen exudes just the right mix of the kind of palace of you could really see yourself settling down in, and the harsh surreal falseness of a TV studio. Jen Lal’s lights are sumptously coloured, achieving just the right heady meeting between the warm-indoors and the glossy musical. This is a show that is a joy to just look at. Paul Jendan’s (who also wrote and directed it) costumes do a wonderful job of evoking just the right kind of half-remembered glamour of the past.

This being a popera (meaning there is no spoken dialogue, everything is in song), the music figures large too. Gareth Farr’s score is adorable and very well played by the live orchestra (Natalia Mann, Charles Davenport, Debbie Rawson and Fraser Bremner). The cast belt out their singing with verve and energy. Political satire you can tap your toes to.

At least, I think it was satire because, well, due to the levels of the performers’ mikes being just a notch too low to really hear clearly what they were saying/singing, the plot rather rapidly became hard to follow. I was not alone, several people sitting in the same row as me expressed similar concerns.

The Nero Show, especially when you have as much trouble following it as I and my row-mates did, quickly reveals itself to be a bit too much of a mishmash of ideas. A live TV broadcast! From Nero’s palace! In the sixties! Three cool ideas that never really seem to properly sit together.

The Nero Show is not a bad show. It is not a great show. It’s just fine. You come out of it simply aware that it is a way to have spent your time. You are not angry that said time is gone. You’re just not particularly enthralled either.

15 May – 19 June 2010 / Circa Theatre / www.circa.co.nz
wri., dir. Paul Jenden
mus. Gareth Farr
perf. Jason Chasland, Paul Harrop, Lyndee-Jane Rutherford, Emma Kinane, Christina Cusiel, Joanne Hodgson and Louis Solino