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October 8, 2007 | by  | in Opinion |
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Inappropriate ring tones to go off in a lecture theatre

1. The A-Team theme song
2. Your own
3. Jingle Bells (It’s too early!)
4. Crazy Frog
5. The Black Seeds

Terrorist pickup lines

1. You blow me away
2. Can I blow up inside you?
3. Aiaiaiaiaiaiaiai! [Shooting AK-47 in the air]
4. I think you’re the bomb, and I’ve seen a few
5. You hold my heart hostage, just like I hold your family

Cannibal food dishes

1. Billy con carne
2. Anything from UniStop
3. Eyes-cream
4. Trish fingers
5. Shepherd pie

Necrophiliac pickup lines

1. Would you like to come home with me and crack open a couple of cold ones?
2. Your funeral must have been open casket
3. Let’s do the rigorous mortis
4. I see you’re a stiff… Would you like to see mine?
5. I’d like to perform an autopsy on you

Emo TV shows

1. Sesemo Street
2. Ally McEmo
3. Pokémo
4. The Sopranemos
5. Grey’s Anatemo

Emo movies

1. Finding Emo
2. Apocalemo
3. Emoana Jones and the Black Parade
4. Emos on a Plane
5. Lock, Stock and 2 Smoking Emos

Inappropriate kids’ TV shows

1. Dragonball XXX
2. Spongebob No-pants
3. Where’s Willy?
4. Fuck Tales
5. Foreplay School

Neologisms

1. Pornfolio- When you download porn on to your hard drive to be stored in a folder
2. Mouse arrest- Getting grounded from the family computer after your mother finds your pornfolio
3. Floordrobe- A form of storage for clothing which requires no hangers, drawers, doors or effort
4. Jill Off- The female version of jack off: unassisted autoerotic stimulation
5. Voice jail- The loop of options where you get stuck when trying to navigate your voice mail

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About the Author ()

Salient is a magazine. Salient is a website. Salient is an institution founded in 1938 to cater to the whim and fancy of students of Victoria University. We are partly funded by VUWSA and partly by gold bullion that was discovered under a pile of old Salients from the 40's. Salient welcomes your participation in debate on all the issues that we present to you, and if you're a student of Victoria University then you're more than welcome to drop in and have tea and scones with the contributors of this little rag in our little hideaway that overlooks Wellington.

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