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July 13, 2009 | by  | in Music |
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The Crackhouse Five


The Crackhouse 5 are a splattery, Beastie Boys-esque hip-hop group consisting of Brian (B Cool), Matt (BB Gunn) and Kelvin (Shorty K). Salient’s Kim Wheatley met them for a chat over some coffee at the Paramount Theatre. You can also find an audio version of this interview on the Salient website. Our conversation began with a discussion of Crack Wednesdays, their weekly Wednesday night show at Mighty Mighty.

Salient: Crack Wednesdays, what’s the deal?

Kelvin: They started because me and Tommy Ill wanting to do something, just put on a night. We talked to Mighty and they were really keen.

Brian: But it’s getting hard for us to find people to play because we don’t really want bands with drummers or instruments as such just because of cost of sound engineers, etc.

Kelvin: We’re going to try having them monthly so they can be bigger and so that we can actually afford to get bands with drummers.

Salient: Is there any new CH5 music being recorded?

Kelvin: Um…. Yeah!

Salient: What can we expect?

Brian: Metal Riffs. Seriously.

Salient: Auto-tune?

Brian: Nah.

Kelvin: Auto-tune for our joke raps, but not for CH5. We are going to record more things, today in fact. The first group of songs that we did which we made into an EP were made over a couple of months in the Crackhouse when we lived there. But then we all moved out and it was kinda hard. It was so easy there because we were all in [Matt] Buck’s bedroom and we’d just wake up and walk in and Buck would be making a beat and we’d just start writing songs.

Salient (to Matt):
So you make most of the beats then?

Matt: Yes. But because these guys are drummers and I don’t have any sense of rhythm, they help line up stuff.

Salient: That’s quite an interesting way of doing it—what do you use, can you reveal any secrets?

Matt: Just Cubase, and samples. Lots of breaks.

Salient: Favorite thing to sample?

Matt: ‘Funky Drummer!’

Kelvin: How many songs is that in?

Matt: It’s only in two. Oh wait, it’s only in one song.

Salient: But it feels like it’s in more.

: It’s in every other hip-hop song.

: We’ll probably use it again.

Kelvin: We’ll have a new EP that you can download.

Matt: But hopefully there’ll be no samples in it.

Matt: Drum samples, but nothing else. Played instruments [instead].

Kelvin: The thing with us is we couldn’t give a shit about being good at rapping; we just want to have fun.

Brian: I see us as a party band, a party starter, rather than a hip-hop group as such.

Salient: It seems as though you’ve thought about it though?

Matt: Yeah, we’ve definitely considered the songs. We’ve thought about the words we’re saying.

Kelvin: And also because we all played in bands, we’re not retarded at writing songs or anything.

Salient: It’s not like you were drunk and mumbled into your MacBook right?

Kelvin: Well, we didn’t do it in one take, even though the recordings aren’t that good quality, and our delivery isn’t awesome, we still put a little bit of time in it.

Brian: You think about our recordings and how old are they?

Matt: The ones on the MySpace are really old.

Kelvin: We haven’t changed the lyrics or the structure since the very first night we recorded them. We did that EP in September (2008) and then we went on making songs and realised we got better at delivery, so we went back and did it again.

Salient: So the next recorded output might have higher fidelity and be a little tighter?

Matt: I don’t know if it’ll be higher fidelity.

Brian: It’ll definitely be tighter.

Kelvin: And the songs will be better.

Matt: We just need a good microphone.

Salient: Do you really though?

Matt: Definitely.

Kelvin: The beats sound scratchy in a really cool way, which I really like, and they’re all over the place in a good way I think.

Salient: Like the Go-Team!

Matt: They make really good hip-hop beats.

Brian: That’s a good comparison, I hadn’t thought of that before.

Matt: Especially [CH5 track] ‘What’cha Gonna Get,’ that’s real Go-Team I reckon.

Salient: I haven’t listened to the Go-Team in ages. Somebody put that on at a party please.

Kelvin: We probably can, at Crack Wednesdays.

Matt: They had problems with samples on their first album. They redid that album for the American release. All those samples are really wicked, those chants are all from rallies in the 60s.

Brian: I heard something awesome that we could sample that was similar to that. Tom showed me this website that has amazing chantey sort of old bluesy stuff that has chants that we could take. Take the chants rather than the actual song.

Matt: Yeah. Do it.

Listen to the interview here.

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Comments (33)

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  1. A hot girl says:


  2. Figner says:

    I hate the Crack House Five. Should call themselves Shit House Five.

  3. Kelvin says:

    lolz we totes should have

  4. Finger says:

    I love the Crack House Five. Should call themselves the Rad House Five.

  5. Tyrone says:

    i love kelvin

  6. Aquaguy says:

    Nice to know they aren’t idiots about it. I actually like them now.

  7. a super hot babes says says:

    there sampling makes me wet.

  8. Your Name says:

    I can’t wait to hear the audio for this interview, I hope it’s as insightful as the transcription.

  9. Your Name says:

    Kim should feel proud that he maintained his journalistic integrity by asking the hard-hitting questions.

  10. Jackson Wood says:

    Audio up now. Sorry for delay.

  11. Mr Nice Guy says:

    Great! So now we can all celebrate idiots who abuse the English language, abuse original, frankly much better, music produced by other “artists” (I have used quotation marks here for the Shithouse 5, as I’m sure the people they shamelessly rip off are actual artists), and abuse our eyes with their shit fucking posters that pollute Wellington. Cask wine? Supergirls tits? Check. Class act, fucktards.

  12. Tommy Ill says:

    Haha hey Mr Nice Guy, come down to Crack Wednesday and we can talk about it. I’ll put you on the door :-P.

  13. Kelvin says:

    Mr Nice Guy, I’m not sure if your name is ironic or if I have just caught you on an off day, regardless, I’m sorry. Will try harder next time.

    “Shithouse 5″ was a real good pun too bro!!!

    Kindest Regards



  14. Ms Nice Guy says:

    Mr Nice Guy, You noticed them didn’t you. Shame. What they are doing obviously worked. A reaction like that is better than none at all. I believe you have fallen for what is called “having an opinion.” Well done. Though I believe your opinion is wrong. Really fucking wrong, fucktard.

  15. a super hot babes says says:

    will you put me on the door?

  16. Tommy Ill says:

    Yes. I have put everyone on the door.

  17. shavaughn says:

    i hate that shit!

  18. Mr Nice Guy says:

    Ooooh, what are you going to do about it? Write about me on your blog? What is it –

  19. Mr Nice Guy says:

    Sorry, the blog you were looking for does not exist. However, the name mrniceguyissadandlonely is available to register!

  20. a super hot babes says says:

    mr nice guy is a wise guy

  21. Kelvin says:

    lolz “shithouse 5″

  22. Tommy Ill says:

    Full House 5.

  23. Mr Nice Guy says:

    I’m a douchebag with nothing constructive to say:) Now, where did I leave my extensive buttplug collection

  24. Hame DMC says:

    Have you even heard the Crackhouse 5, Mr Nice Guy? Or been to a Crack Wednesday? Or interacted with human beings outside of World of Warcraft? I’m sure if you chose to engage in the real world, beyond your computer, you’d be pleasantly surprised to find that you may enjoy Crack Wednesday, and the CH5.

  25. Mr Nice Guy says:

    Wow, the collective intelligence here amazes me – let’s all post a comment as Mr Nice Guy because everybody will think that he’s posting this stuff about himself. What, can’t find the wit to deliver an old-fashioned rebuttal? And yes, Hame DMC, I did have the courtesy to listen to them first. Ooh, I must spend all my time on the computer because I don’t like some ridiculous fucktards pretending to be a group that was famous, what, 20 years ago? Just the kind of tacky, throw-away insult I’d expect of pricks who idolise red country.

  26. Flora says:

    Sozz dudes, but Crack Wednesdays have turned into BigKfirstyear101gropefest.
    Not my cup o tea.

    Mightyx2, you pretty much suck after 8pm.

  27. Brian says:

    life sux.

    soz flora, wont let you down again

  28. a wise guy says:

    People posting on their own interviews is simply retarded.

  29. Brian says:

    Sorry wise guy, still learning internet etiquette.

    Won’t happen again.

  30. Ms Nice Guy says:

    kinda shocked that I liked it/ them???

  31. A very special boy says:

    I got to every gig to touch girl

  32. Billy Joel says:

    Hey guys, I really like your stuff. Anyone who says less is a commy fuckhead.
    Much love
    The Real, Billy Joel

  33. Little Biggy says:



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