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July 25, 2011 | by  | in Opinion |
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I Am Offended Beacuse – Three Easy Ways to be a Better Feminist

First things first: I know that declaring yourself a ‘feminist’ can be scary.

But as Ellen Page said: “It can’t be any more obvious that we live in a patriarchal society if ‘feminist’ is a bad word”. In my opinion, if you believe in equality between all genders, you’re a feminist. That’s it. And if you don’t believe in that kind of equality you can get right out of here. Seriously. Bye. Go have a tea party with Alasdair Thompson or something. My view of feminism is simplistic but I also acknowledge that old school feminists have a pretty bad rap for excluding a lot of people—especially trans people and women of colour. But there couldn’t be a better time to change that. Feminism is about equality, for everyone. It’s a force for good.

The list below is for when you want to be a force for good, but you’re tired and you have an essay due. Being a feminist doesn’t mean that you have to go to a protest every day. Activism can be about the little things. Caring about the trivial doesn’t stop you from acting on the big stuff.

1. Take the Time to Discover Your Favourite Comedienne.

As a feminist you might encounter assholes who claim they don’t find female comedians that funny. You need to be prepared for this—ideally with a sassy comeback such as “Oh! I didn’t realise that Dai Henwood was a woman”, which you will then need to back up. Tell the asshole about your favourite comedienne. In preparation for this spend a night on YouTube and if you don’t like Tina Fey—keep looking. I recommend Josie Long, Maeve Higgins and Rebel Wilson but perhaps you might be more into Sarah Silverman, Margaret Cho or Wanda Sykes.  

2. Stop Criticising The Way Other People Look.

No more “her top is so tight I can see her stretch marks” and no more “she needs to eat a sandwich” and no more “he was so ugly that everyone died”. Other people have no moral or societal obligation to meet your arbitrary beauty standards. Cut the body snark and you’re fighting back against a society that values people for the way that they look and you’re making the world—and your brain—a kinder place. Cut the toxic thoughts, wear sequins, and tell yourself you look fabulous.

3. Masturbate.

Seriously. Get thee to D.Vice or do it like Britney ‘Touch of My Hand’ Spears. Whatever you do, do it for you. Trust in the radical possibilities of pleasure but keep one hand free—when you’re fingering yourself you’re giving a middle finger to the fucked up ideas that our culture has about bodies and sexuality—the Madonna/whore idea, the idea what we need other people to make us happy, and the idea that our genitalia is somehow more ‘naughty’ than the rest of our anatomy. When the world is telling you to hate yourself, sometimes the most radical thing you can do is indulge in a little self love

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  1. Merrin says:

    hehehe have you seen target women? it is so funny

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