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May 6, 2013 | by  | in News |
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LOL News

BETTER LETTER THAN NEVER

Somalia has struck a deal with the United Nations postal agency, meaning the war-torn nation may have a functioning mail service for the first time in over 20 years. Most houses do not have numbers, only main roads have street names, and there are no functioning post offices in the country, vast swathes of which are controlled by insurgents linked to Al-Qaeda. No news yet as to how this will affect Salient’s letters section.

OH BUMMER

It’s bad news for the Obama daughters, as father and President of the United States Barack Obama has put an effective veto on any potential tattoos the girls may want. Obama said he told Malia and Sasha “if you guys ever decide you’re going to get a tattoo, then mommy and me will get the exact same tattoo, in the same place, and we’ll go on YouTube and show it off as a family tattoo”—a statement sure to have got under the skin of the girls far more than any tattoo ink ever will.

MARS COCK UP

In August 2012, NASA successfully put the Curiosity rover on Mars. Since then, Curiosity has been hard…at work collecting scientific data. However, that’s just the tip of Curiosity’s work: it has also created NASA’s newest Martian member, with a suspiciously phallic photo of the rover’s tracks released last week. NASA has claimed the shape was “entirely accidental”. Salient suspects that this is a phallusy; given the shape of most NASA rockets, there is obviously an underlying fixation with large penile constructions.

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