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May 20, 2013 | by  | in Opinion |
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Secret Diary of Officious First-Year


In case you weren’t aware, LAWS121 assignments were due recently. Although I got hard-done-by in the test, the assignment should be easy. I know I’ve got lovely prose—my POLS tutor said so. I’m also a Politics student, so anything to do with the legislative process is right up my alley. I might send the essay to some of the big commercial firms like Chen Palmer, actually. I’m sure they would love to have me on board. Anyway, I want to tell you about an experience I had when I went to hand in my assignment.

Approximately 22 minutes before the deadline, I thundered downstairs at Weir, armed with all-important USB drive. To my horror, the computer room was packed with Science students on Facebook, and a long line of other disorganised Law students waiting to print their assignments. Some twat with the organisational skills of a marshmallow was prodding the paper-feed button, while the fucked printer spat out pages of Wingdings like there was no tomorrow. Some other imbecilic no-hoper (I think he does Commerce or something) was milling around cutting up flashcards—what a waste of space. I wish people would realise that Commerce degrees are a waste of time since all the good jobs are in the civil service, where compassion and social justice are more important than just adding up numbers.

This was hopeless. I gave up and sprinted down to Pip—the Law School must surely have had a printer. On the way, I met a couple of really friendly men on Lambton Quay who distracted me for a while. One was juggling tennis balls, and his friend was playing a violin-thing. Apparently they haven’t got much money, which is probably because postgraduate student allowances have been cut lately. We engaged in a bit of friendly banter, before I realised I better hurry up or I’d miss my deadline.

Arriving at Law School, I shot in the front door and went straight for the stairs. Soon I was lost in a maze of strange staircases. Ever tried finding your way into the library in that bloody building? Impossible. Luckily for me I bumped into Grant Morris, who I know pretty well because I’m in the front row of his lectures. He pointed me in the direction of the computers. Once I’d got that fiasco sussed, I printed the thing and jumped in the queue. I nearly shat myself worrying about whether the queue was moving fast enough, but luckily I made it to the counter with five seconds to go. Even better, the bastard in the queue behind me missed it. Serves him right for being so disorganised.

Moral of the story—the Law Library could do with way more signage. Probably should be in the Government’s budget, but I bet it won’t be because the Government hates students and stuff. Even Rory said so.

Find me on Twitter – @GMo4Lyf

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