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July 22, 2013 | by  | in News |
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LOL News


Of all the lubricants, social and otherwise, at play at the University of Otago’s Re-O Week Paint Party, most dangerous was the paint. 35 people were treated for injuries, with 11 sent to hospital by ambulance after slipping on the paint-soaked concrete floor. St John Dunedin operations team manager Doug Third said “nobody that went to hospital was sober”, a shocking statement if you manage to convince yourself that there were any sober people at the event at all. Event director Jamie Templeton had done just this, telling media no intoxicated persons had been allowed into the venue. LOL News, indeed.


Independence Day is widely celebrated in the US, usually with fireworks and a barbecue, and in the case of one Californian man, by incredible stunts of masturbation. Noted multi-tasker Clark Duncan McElfresh was arrested after masturbating while riding a bicycle, in what witnesses (probably) described as a very impressive act. All in all, a decent job at indecent exposure by the 51-year-old.


An Italian senator revealed himself to be a baboon last week, after referring to Italy’s first black cabinet minister as an orangutan. Roberto Calderoli was quoted as saying “I love animals… but when I see pictures of [her I think of] an orangutan.” Calderoli also said minister Cécile Kyenge should “govern in her own country”. Kyenge was born in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, but has lived and worked in Italy for 30 years. It is unknown for how long Calderoli has been a baboon.

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:   Where are you from?  My list was always ready: England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, puppy dogs’ tails, a little Spanish, maybe German, and—almost as an afterthought—half Samoan. An unwanted fraction.   But you don’t seem like a Samoan. I thought you were [inser

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