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April 13, 2014 | by  | in Conspiracy Corner Opinion |
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Conspiracy Corner – “First Come, Best Served”

One of my jobs as conspiracy corroborator is to enlighten you to the strange and clandestine rules that govern our society. I like to undress the sordid histories from the ordinary, stripping the lies from the mistress of truth, finding all the glorious secrets that lie beneath the sheets… *ahem* of papers piled on my desk. Sorry, got a little carried away there.

The Rule of First Adopters stipulates that the first content provided by a new medium will invariably be adult erotic content. Basically, if it exists, porn has got there first. It’s the technological equivalent of sitting down at a newly bought school desk and finding that the person before you has drawn dicks all over it. However, this comes with the benefit of said medium profiting from the innovation the adult-entertainment industry brings. Most of all, improvements to our entertainment and information media have been in service of giving you better porn. Prepare to have your minds blown.

As the old adage goes, the Rule was the reason the internet was invented, at least until 2011 when social-media traffic finally eclipsed online porn traffic. The reason you can watch videos within your browser without a plug-in is due to the proliferation of streaming JPEG-push video by porn sites, the precursor technology to what YouTube and currently use. Porn sites also established most commonplace online tools and tricks, from live-chat and video calls that were being done with camgirls before Facebook and Skype, to pop-ups, spyware and, by extension, internet security. Gotta use protection, chums.

The ability to access pornography can determine the rise and fall of entire mediums. Due to media watchdogs controlling content in the ‘50s, erotica on television was hard to come by (pun intended or not). Cable television didn’t really take off until distributors started including access to adult channels, after which subscriptions came flooding in. It’s also thought that the real reason why VHS triumphed over Betamax as the predominant home-video format was because more porn was on VHS. History looks set to repeat with the current DVD/Blu-ray war, but for a different reason: a squeamishness over HD. Porn stars and their viewers don’t want to see unwanted blemishes and implant scars magnified in a higher resolution.

I realise all this isn’t exactly shocking; exposing the dirty little secret of our species exploiting an industry that many of us will never admit we’ve frequented. Personally, I think it brings a more salacious element of the human psyche in view; that the only time we aim to innovate is when we want to blow each other up or just blow each other. All’s laid bare in love and war. Incognito out.


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