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May 18, 2014 | by  | in Features |
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judy // 15 // artist-in-training // cats // storms // sometimes I’m a lil bit ~random~ // soft grunge // stamp on u w my velvet docs // we’re the kids your parents warned you about // bffl <3
When it comes down to it, I’m just a girl with a dream. All I do is dream. I am a dream. I dream of dreams. Dreams dream of me. Maybe you also have a dream. If so, I’m glad. Dreams are great things to have. You might even be a girl. Are you also a girl with a dream?

Well fuck off. This dream’s mine.

My dream is simple, but it’s hard. Not many people get there. It’s going to take literally months of working my ass off. Maybe not months? Maybe weeks? No. It’s going to take months.

What is my dream, you ask?

*deep breath*

Okay. I want to become an Internet Artist.

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As part of my journey to become an internet artist, I thought it would be wise to do some research to find out what internet art actually is.

I mean, I know what it is. I follow like 5 blogs. This is my dream. You can’t have a dream and not know what things are. I definitely, definitely know what internet art is. But for the sake of clarity & because I know there are some people out there who don’t know, and they might not want to ask because, tbh, it’s a pretty basic thing not to know in 2k14, I asked an expert! CrapBag has been a big name in the internet art scene for at least a fortnight, and this is what he has to say about the movement:

JC: What is internet art?

CB: twitter.

JC: Twitter?

CB: twitter. @horse_ebooks. @jennyholzermom. all of it. just twitter. all twitter. your tweets are art. every missive you give out is art because you are art and the internet is art and art is truth.

JC: But I don’t have twitter??

CB: die.

JC: I have a Tumblr??

CB: oh. you’re one of those. a tumblr artist.

JC: A tumblr artist????

CB: you probably make static images. you sicken me. i want to give up. i want to give everything up.

JC: Ok. Ok. Ok. Um, so how did you get into internet art?

CB: help

JC: How can I get into internet art?

CB: help

JC: What makes good internet art?

CB: i can’t get out

Anyway, after he left I googled ‘internet art’. Turns out it’s just art that’s made for the internet.

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People have been telling me that if I want to be taken seriously in the internet art community then I need to get Photoshop.

Thoughts about this:

a.) If people are going to continue to be so harsh then I’m going to have no other option but to disable anon. It’s a big step, but I’m willing to do it. If you can’t say anything nice, guys, then don’t say anything at all. (By which I mean: I’m gonna take away your ability to say anything at all. This is a TIGHT SHIP, people. I need to be respected in the artistic community and your anonymous hate is letting us all down. Do you think Van Gogh ever had anons telling him to “get photoshop u loser”? No!)

b.) Where do I get Photoshop??? Do I have to pay? Does it work on Macs? It looks super complicated. I can use Paint???

[0 notes]
(More like mood: bored, amirite? Except not, because I’m actually pretty excited to be doing this because I’m making art, and you can never be bored when you’re following your dream (note to self: put ‘make an inspirational quote blog’ on to do list))

Before I get seriously stuck into my creative work I made a list of the topics I want to explore with my art once I figure out how to use Photoshop:

  • deep space exploration

  • I think that squirrels might actually be super smart but we don’t know it

  • superimposing Bush’s paintings of dogs w drones (I’m political)

  • bowling

  • bowing

  • bowels

  • self portrait depicting my journey to decide whether I should learn to drive in a manual or automatic car

  • removing the hair from pictures of female celebrities to show solidarity for Britney

  • can my cat see in the dark?????

  • George Clooney lizard porn

  • ferris wheels made of pizza

  • 9/11 conspiracy theories but also the 2048 game

  • cool dog group underwater

  • Solange fight club

[0 notes]
Exciting things have happened since we last talked! I figured out how to use Photoshop! You guys, I am now an Official Internet Artist! Here, exclusively, is my Debut Piece, ‘Thoughts’.


Because this tumblr was about my Journey, a Journey which I am now at the End Of, I’m moving blogs. You can now find me at

For now, some closing thoughts (like my piece! Ha!):

I don’t want to brag, but I have a positive follower/following ratio. I’m internet famous!! Some months, I get upwards of 4 messages asking how to become a successful internet artist. Dear readers, I’ll tell you what I tell them: look into your soul. What do you find there? Is it art? Are you very sure it’s not art? How can you – you, dear reader, I mean I don’t want to be offensive but you – tell what is and isn’t art? Close your eyes, dear reader. Close your pretty little uncultivated eyes and dream. Are you dreaming of art? Are you trying, very, very hard to dream of art? Now open your eyes. Open your eyes, illegally pirate Photoshop, spend 12 hours watching YouTube tutorials to figure out how to use it, make your dad a birthday card of a lion eating a bunny with both their faces covered in cake, endure a family seminar on your ‘passive aggression’ and ‘extreme emotional problems’. It’s easy really.

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