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March 12, 2018 | by  | in *News* |
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Rejoyce as Steven Steps Down From Politics

They say that time heals all wounds, but clearly Steven Joyce never got the memo. In 2016, Joyce’s career received a critical hit in the form of a surprisingly girthy pink dildo, and word on the street is he never really recovered.

Joyce announced his resignation from politics on Tuesday 6 March 2018 after failing to become the next leader of the National Party. It is reported that this failure stems directly from the sheer hilarity that he took a sex toy to the face on national television.

As a spokesperson from the National Party said, “no one can take him seriously anymore. It’s been three years, but you just can’t make people forget that”.

One can only wonder if Joyce has been haunted these past two years by the voice of talk show host John Oliver whispering, “this will never be over for you”.

Unfortunately, Joyce was not available for comment. Perhaps the hit to his ego was too much, or perhaps he finally realised he’s just a bit shit. Either way, Joyce is out, and we can all look back with fondness on the time that he was the one getting fucked, for once.

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