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May 14, 2018 | by  | in *News* |
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DJ Khaled Interview Proves Once Again That Men Ain’t Shit

In early 2018, multiple scholars predicted this would be the year that men would prove that they were shit. However an interview with music mogul DJ Khaled has resurfaced this week, revealing that he does not and does not ever intend to perform oral sex on his wife, proving that men, in fact, still ain’t shit.

In the interview, he proclaims that “a woman should praise the man…the King”. He goes on to say that it would not be okay for a woman to refuse to go down on him because “there’s some things that y’all might not wanna do, but it got to get done”.

While it is completely fair for Khaled to refuse to perform sexual acts (after all, no one should have to do anything they don’t feel comfortable doing), the obvious double standard in his actions and apparent lack of care for consent proves the age-old hypothesis — that men ain’t shit.

Despite refusing to give his wife and the mother of his child any semblance of physical pleasure, DJ Khaled, aka The King, has admitted to hiring roughly 8 to 10 more talented men to pleasure his wife for him, while he stands in the corner of the room, jacking off and yelling out his own name repeatedly.

Various celebrities, including the lead singer of Smash Mouth and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, have valiantly attempted to prove that they are shit by reaching out with criticism for Khaled’s selfish bedroom behaviour, which is a ray of hope in these dark times.

Perhaps 2019 will prove more profitable to women. This reporter lives in hope.

*Disclaimer: This is shit news*

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