Viewport width =
October 1, 2018 | by  | in News |
Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

Brad’s Bread Beats Budget

As of Wednesday September 26th, VUWSA have officially voted to increase the university’s student media budget by $18,000 for 2019. The budget increase, which covers Salient, Salient TV and Salient FM, may allow for the reinstatement of such radical concepts as “Free Pizza Fridays” and “Getting Paid for Work”.
Luckily, this means Vic can retain its most important asset: the Brad Pitt naan. The naan — acquired by former Salient staffers in 2010 in an absolute steal of a TradeMe auction for $8.50 — is currently the little-known 68th Wonder of the World, after moving up a spot following the death of Phoebe the tuatara (RIP).

Due to original budget cuts, Salient staff feared they would have to sell the divine dough to make ends meet — though they were mysteriously unable to find any takers for the yeasty vestige throughout the year. Now, with the naan secured, a sigh of relief fills the office; a sigh that echoes around our walls, as we have been informed keeping the doors propped open with stacks of magazines is a “safety hazard”. The naan has been a constant source of inspiration to the beleaguered staff of Salient 2018, reminding them that they too are here forever, and to use more garlic in their struggle meals.
Staff remain overworked and underpaid but are delighted to retain the naan, which still remains mould-free, though has slipped and shrunk in its frame not unlike the Te Papa colossal squid. If the budget allows, there are hopes for restoration of the masticated memento.
When asked for comment, current Salient editor Louise Lin was quoted as saying: “At this point I’m so fucking grateful to be given any cash at all that I am hungrily scooping up any crumbs that come my way. I have been thoroughly brainwashed; all hail Lord VUWSA.”

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

About the Author ()

Add Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Recent posts

  1. You Are Not Your Illness
  2. Let Me at The Bachelor, and Other Shit Chat
  3. Lost in the Sauce – Avo-no you didn’t
  4. Mauri Ora – Winter’s Comin’
  5. Token Cripple – How To Survive Your First Year at University (with a disabled twist!)
  6. Dream Diagnosis – Fire in Wellington
  7. Liquid Knowledge – Animal farts and performative veganism
  8. One Ocean
  9. Uni Council Corner
  10. Dylan Horrocks gets new job

Editor's Pick

He Tāonga

:   I wanted to write this piece, in order to connect to all tauira within the University, with the hope that we can all remind ourselves that we are a part of an environment which is valuable, no matter our culture, our beliefs or our skin colour. The ultimate purpose of this