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AuthorGonzo the News Mole

Author Archive: Gonzo the News Mole

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July 30, 2007

This week, stories from across the globe have poured into the G.N.M office detailing the brave but vain hopes of communities from across the globe hoping to stem the tide of Zombie death that threatens to engulf the world as we know it. Our valiant reporter David Fletcher Mustaine pulled together this story in a […]

July 16, 2007

Scientists in America have today officially announced that technology which keeps many of America’s stars and starlets looking so young will be used in the next step of space exploration.

July 9, 2007

During the break G.N.M scoured the globe to bring you the hard and fast stories that you really need to know, to live in this oh so complicated world we live in. This week G.N.M was contacted by one of its long standing correspondents in the ground in Russia.

May 28, 2007

In a world of constant conflict and growing aggression it pleases G.N.M. greatly to run a story this week that holds hope for the future. After all, life can’t be one constant Black Sabbath, indeed in this case it may be a Pink Sabbath!

May 21, 2007

My sources in Downing Street have passed on several crucial documents and a great number of meeting transcriptions to the team here at G.N.M, information that has alarming ramifications about the future of Britain foreign policy.

May 14, 2007

My sources in the Italian press forwarded me an e-mail in the course of the week that was rather startling in its ramifications. It would appear that the current Pope Benedict has reneged his harsh stance on Australian heavy metal band AC/DC that he so strongly held during his formative years as a priest (not […]

May 7, 2007

This week my sources dug up a slip of paper that was apparently found in some fast food executive’s waste paper basket by their illegal Mexican immigrant cleaner. It would appear that fast food empire Burger King will be changing its ultra-secret recipe for its burger patties from the more commonplace ingredient of stray kittens, […]

April 30, 2007

American Soldiers Mystified A leaked document from the United States Army to the Head of Security at the White House has revealed a startling fact: on Sunday, April 22, there were no casualties across the whole of Iraq, either in the insurgency or in the occupying force.

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