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AuthorUther Dean

Author Archive: Uther Dean

Uther was one of the two arts editors in 2009. He was the horoscopier and theatre writer in 2010. Alongside Elle Hunt, Uther was coeditor in 2011.

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July 30, 2012

LIFE IS KINDA LIKE THAT BIT AT THE END OF ‘DOUBT’ WHERE MERYL STREEP YELLS ‘I HAVE SUCH DOOOOOOOOOOOOOUBT! That chat is me totally failing to follow my own advice. How often have I told you to just get on with it. How many times have I told you to stop wallowing? Jesus, I’m almost […]

July 23, 2012

What To Do When You Can’t DO Anything “Only boring people get bored.”—People who feel the need to fill their lives with needless noise and movement to distract themselves from the echoing, desperate sadness inside themselves. Everything is overwhelming. Sometimes it just seems that you’re overcommitted, but then you think of the days where you […]

July 16, 2012

To Do Read every day. Read something by someone who isn’t white and isn’t male every day. Don’t hit the snooze button. Hit the snooze button only once. Only turn off alarm when actually standing. Swear audibly when it’s suddenly two hours later. Brush teeth every morning and night. Brush teeth most evenings. Don’t listen […]

June 5, 2012

No One IS Allowed To Like The Things You Like It’s so easy to sneer. It’s so easy to look down on people. No one can ever be as smart as you. No one will ever understand the world and how it works as well as you do. Why don’t people listen? Are people trying to […]

May 28, 2012

You don’t listen. You may think you do but you don’t.

May 21, 2012

NOTHING I DO IS EVER AS GOOD AS IT COULD BE. PEOPLE KEEP TELLING ME I HAVE POTENTIAL—WON’T THEY BE EMBARRASSED WHEN I PROVE THEM WRONG? For a while I thought it was fine that it was jealousy that was fuelling me. That I needed the desperate urge to do as well as I perceived […]

May 14, 2012

Why DO you keep getting being “crazy” and being actually interesting confused? Do you know how I know that you’re not interesting? Do you know how I decoded the fact that you’re not worth spending time on from your behaviour? It’s how you talk about yourself. You keep calling yourself ‘crazy’. Or ‘mental’. Or ‘bonkers’. […]

May 7, 2012

So, we know you are alone. Well, at least, you feel it, right? Deep down in your soul, you fear dying alone.

April 30, 2012

SOMETIMES I REALLY JUST WANT YOU TO CHOKE TO DEATH ON YOUR OWN MISJUDGED IRONY I am very well aware that beginning anything with the phrase ‘there are two kinds of people in the world’ is to readers what chewing tin foil is to teeth. It is the kind of lexicographic crime so heinous that […]

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