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Features

July 17, 2019

Pregnancy tests. Ultrasounds. Gender reveal parties. Maternity shopping. Childbirth.   On the day we take our first breath, a clinician typically lifts us in the air, does a speedy exanimation, and pronounces our sex.   At some hospitals, bright lights flash pink and blue on the street front to celebrate the birth of a new […]

July 17, 2019

  I’ve never written about my fear or my anger, because I’ve never felt like I was queer enough, knew enough, or felt comfortable enough with my identity. I’m slowly learning, in the words of Virginia Woolf’s famous Mrs Ramsay, “It is enough!”    Pride has become more than a single march, or a month—it […]

July 17, 2019

As a teenager, being queer was a foreign concept. I was already othered so much already, being half Māori and odd-looking, with delayed social and learning skills due to a difficult birth. By the time I was 13 I was already too much, too weird, too other and too pitied upon that finding a table […]

July 8, 2019

  I pay double rent. First, the $200 auto-payment for an uninsulated room. The second, incremental payments to sit at a table with a cup of pick-me-up. Coffee is a luxury. You’ve seen the friendly reminder: Have you thought about your finances? $4 a day on coffee, five times a week makes $20 a week; […]

June 3, 2019

I’ve known my best friend for 20 years. It’s like we were made for each other. We both love talking and reading and running. We can be quiet together. When she starts crying, sometimes I can’t stop. We’ve shared so much that sometimes I look into her eyes and know exactly what she’s thinking, because […]

June 3, 2019

CW: Depression, Suicidality   “Please tell me you are doing really well and are fantastically happy.”   The message popped up on my phone with all the gravitas of an emoticon, but the content had my heart sinking. It had been a few days since I last heard from him, and I’d hoped in the […]

June 3, 2019

To everyone I lost to incarceration:   The worst thing about prison is the unknowns. I haven’t been to prison. I don’t have a criminal record—but you do. You’re not currently incarcerated, but will be soon. Or, you’re about to enter the system again. Or can’t afford to make any more mistakes… Or, are living […]

June 3, 2019

Let’s go back to the not-so-distant past of 2018. The main character of this story, yours truly, was sitting in a bar with her good friend, lamenting the lack of suitable one-night companions. How did I get there? Well, my boyfriend of one-and-a-half years had broken up with me two months earlier and I was […]

May 27, 2019

One day in class, my Year Six teacher asked me what I was, and I said: “I’m just a New Zealander.” Her response? “You can’t be ^just a New Zealander, or else you’d look like me.” I don’t think I need to specify her skin colour. And I want you to imagine how it would […]

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