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May 21, 2018

Mistaking a moment of vibing to Childish Gambino’s damn good new single for a lull in party conversation, Chadley O’Dipshit took the opportunity to explain his “one-hundred percent accurate” analysis of the “This is America” music video. “I know it says ‘America’ in the title but that’s just like, an allusion.” “The key to the […]

May 21, 2018

PAKISTAN PASSES TRANSGENDER RIGHTS PROTECTIONS INTO LAW Pakistan’s Parliament has passed a bill guaranteeing basic human rights for its trans citizens. The bill includes the right for citizens to self-identify as male, female, both, or neither on any legal documentation, including driver’s licences and passports. It also specifically bans the denial of basic human rights […]

May 21, 2018

On 15 May 2018 Salient received the following email: Hi [editor] I’ve noticed the ongoing Kylie Jenner mini-column. I have a Salient radio show on celeb goss on Thursdays 12-2. I am a MAJOR fan of Kardashian goss and I would be interested in taking over this column and doing a small promo for my […]

May 21, 2018

In 2017, Britain approved the Digital Economy Act – a bill that will bring in a multitude of laws regarding the internet and pornography in 2018. With the changes brought by the new bill, Government officials have assured citizens that no one will be able to have any fun at all. Alongside installing age checks […]

May 21, 2018

Victoria University printers have been cursed after the medieval monks hired in April to improve printing services were fired. As entitled, educated white men from the Middle Ages, the monks were confident enough to unionize, demanding more than minimum wage pay. VUW Human Resources manager Pri Valedge explained, “we pay overeducated men a lot at […]

May 21, 2018

Following an emergency committee meeting, Victoria University of Wellington Students’ Association has voted to pay $22,750 of their 2019 levy to the New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations (NZUSA) last Monday. The vote was passed with one abstention from Treasurer Jack Donovan. Matt Tucker, VUWSA CEO, said that this payment will not have an effect […]

May 21, 2018

Tuesday 15 May was the opening night for the VUWSA Student Art Exhibition, held in collaboration with students Violette Squire and Leo Fauvel. The opening night was called Pretentious but not Expensive, in reference to art exhibitions hosted by Squire and Fauvel by the same name. Submissions to the exhibition were open to the university students […]

May 21, 2018

For months the rumour mill has been working overtime, churning out allegations regarding Fish Of The Day, Absolute Lad, and Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern’s Baby-Daddy-To-Be, Clarke Gayford. The Police National Headquarters, in an unusual move, released a statement confirming in no uncertain terms that there is no truth to any of the allegations. Salient’s little-sister […]

May 21, 2018

University Backs Down Over Overpriced Flat