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Phoebe Robertson

The $20 Ghost Waffle

Sadly chewed by Phoebe Roberson (he/him)

 

Picture this: it's exam season, and you're either revising or rushing to finish an essay worth 60% of your grade. You're hungry and decide to treat yourself to some UberEats. But when you open the app, you notice an influx of unfamiliar restaurants with generic names like 'Pizza Club', 'The Bites Box', 'My Crush', 'The Italian Pasta Store', ‘Dessert Store’, and 'Signature Steak House'. A quick Google search of their addresses reveals either different names or generic office buildings. They all seem to sell the same cheesecake for dessert. So, what's going on?


Google defines a ghost kitchen as ‘a business, operating from low-rent or non-commercial premises, that prepares food ordered online for delivery directly to customers’. Unlike traditional restaurants, ghost kitchens have no dining area or storefront and exist solely to fulfil online orders through platforms like Uber Eats, DoorDash, or Grubhub. For this article, I'm expanding the definition to include kitchens operating out of existing restaurants but under different names on UberEats. These crafty setups can easily trick an unsuspecting, hungry student.


Okay, but this might seem abstract—can you give me a specific example? I'm glad you asked. Let's look at Mr Beast. Remember in 2020 when he launched a burger chain and everyone went wild? What many peole didn't realise was that it was a 'virtual restaurant'. Like ghost kitchens, it had no physical address. Instead, you could order a MrBeast Burger through a food delivery app, and it would be prepared at various kitchens and food trucks across America and delivered to you.


So, what's the issue? For Mr Beast, it was a costly one. In 2023, Jimmy Donaldson (aka Mr Beast) sued Virtual Dining Concepts, the company behind MrBeast Burgers, for breach of contract. Donaldson claimed the chain failed to maintain the quality he expected and that they trademarked 'MrBeast' without his knowledge, costing him money. Virtual Dining’s lawyers dismissed these claims, arguing that Donaldson just wanted out of his contract and had recently tried to negotiate a new one. While the case is pending, thousands of YouTube videos, social media posts, and other online content review and often complain about MrBeast Burgers, damaging Donaldson's reputation. [UPDATE: Looks like he's now doing a good job of this himself]


An issue with ghost kitchens is the lack of quality control. While inspectors might check the kitchen annually for cleanliness and fair labour practices, you can't physically visit the store, look at the menu, or see the place. There's no awkward walk-by to peer into the windows and see what others have ordered or if anyone is even there. Instead, you're relying on generic, possibly AI-generated pictures on UberEats that may not represent the actual food you'll receive.


It's worth noting that many ghost kitchen restaurants on UberEats prepare their food in the same kitchen. This is done because ghost kitchens have lower overhead costs and higher profitability than regular kitchens. Why have one listing on UberEats when you can have several, increasing the chances of someone clicking on your listing? For example, UberEats lists both 'The Waffle Store', ‘Fusion Fries’ and 'The Italian Pasta Store' at 25 Courtenay Place. Do you know what else is located at 25 Courtenay Place? 'Wellington Midnight Munchies.'


So, I decided to test this theory. All four of these kitchens sell a caramel waffle for the exact same price: $19.99. Proving that no one should trust me with adult money, I bought a caramel waffle from each business. I should mention that Covid-19 has ruined my palate, making sweet foods taste overwhelmingly sweet and revolting. So, I brought in Salient’s favourite food reviewer, Stephen Woods, to help with the taste test. I loaded up UberEats, ordered the waffles, and waited for them to arrive.


And holy shit team, these were Bad Waffles. We should have known something was off when both Uber drivers got hopelessly lost trying to find my address, and Stephen had to brave a very cold night to get them. The Olympics were on the television, and as we sat on the couch staring at the waffles, Stephen whispered, “This is my own personal Olympics.” And it was.


PICTURED: Various waffles from 'various businesses'. PHOTO: Phoebe Robertson

My first bite was horrifically undercooked, and I spent the next twenty minutes battling through a single waffle while Stephen polished off four—one from each business. We both agreed this felt like food drop shipping. Stephen noted, “Never has $30 tasted so bad. I could have eaten a $20 and $10 note, and it would have tasted better.”


I have never eaten waffles this bad in my life. I don’t even believe they were caramel waffles; there were chunks in the sauce. If I had to guess, I’d say hokey pokey, but on reflection, they might have just burned the caramel sauce. I don’t believe any of this was homemade, so ultimately, it was just a horrible experience.


But Phoebe, maybe this is a one-off by the Big Waffle. Actually, no. Have you seen Romans Kitchen trending online? I can't seem to go a day without it popping up on TikTok, with Wellingtonians trying their $10 pasta, ordered through a screen and served in a disposable container. While the kitchen itself isn’t a ghost kitchen, its UberEats address is listed as something else. Do you think it’s another pasta store or maybe something Italian-based? Perhaps they also have desserts?


Well, no. They sell steaks on UberEats. ‘Romans Kitchen’ is located at 245 Cuba Street, the same address where Uber Eats lists ‘Signature Steak House’. Since you can't buy a steak from the Romans Kitchen menu, I’m classifying it as a ghost kitchen. 


I don’t eat steak, so I got our office's resident carnivore and gym bro, Will Irvine, to try it. He likes his steak medium rare, so that’s what we ordered. What we received was the most well-done steak I've ever seen. There was no red anywhere. The eggs were also badly cooked, with the yolks popped and overcooked. Everyone knows a runny yolk is the best part, but I guess we didn’t clarify this in the order notes.

PICTURED: Will tasting a very well-done fried egg upon a very well-done steak. PHOTO: Phoebe Robertson

While ordering, I realised that ‘Crazy Cheesecake’ also operates from 245 Cuba Street. So, I bought an Oreo Cheesecake from ‘Signature SteakHouse’ for $12.00 and another from ‘Crazy Cheesecake’ for $9.66 (usually $13.80). Someone not paying attention might think these cheesecakes come from two separate places, but they have the same address on UberEats. I ended up spending over $20 on two identical cheesecakes. 


[Editor's note: in the time this article took to put together, five more restaurants opened on Ubereats all with the same address of 245 Cuba Street: ‘Steak on Pasta’, ‘Pasta Italiana’, ‘Pasta Italiana2’, ‘Milano Pasta & Steak’, ‘All about loaded Fries’. No, I did not order from them because I ran out of money. Yes, they all sold the same cheesecake.]


When the items arrived, they looked identical, with the same packaging. The only difference was the order slip from ‘Crazy Cheesecake’, which amusingly read ‘Crazy Cheesecake - Garlic’. Unfortunately, the cheesecake tasted like nothing but Oreo crumbs. Henry and I found the texture so spongy that it was compared to a couch cushion. Despite this, Teddy ate his whole cheesecake, and Jia and Will finished the other one. They only liked them because they were free; none thought they were worth paying for. About five minutes after eating, Teddy felt like he’d “eaten a tupperware full of asbestos… I might die.” 


As for the steak, Will rated it 3/10 but gave the entire meal a 5.5/10 due to the mushroom sauce, which was cold—not just from transport, but never heated in the first place. After writing this, I found three more UberEats listings for restaurants at 245 Cuba Street but didn’t have the budget to try them all.


So, what’s the takeaway? This article aims to inform readers about where their food comes from. Ghost kitchens aren’t inherently immoral, but listing under multiple names and charging high prices for poor-quality food is sleazy and unethical. If you're craving a caramel waffle, skip the ghost kitchens and buy a $19.00 mini waffle maker from Kmart. Your wallet (and stomach) will thank you.



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